So High School

this is me trying

Of course I had the best intentions but emotionally I was destroyed, still I tried to focus on the game.

I had a shitty season, I saw all the critics comment on my score, and that if I wanted to keep my career I had to "get over it"

I still managed to win a few matches, but deep inside I couldn't help but feel more alone than ever. I had to move out of the apartment I used to share with my brother, that's how my best friend became my new roommate. and I tried, god know I tried so hard but I couldn't get up completely, and suddenly I had lost three grand slams of the season and on the last one, my opponents started to die out of nowhere, of course I was aware. i was scared as hell, but I couldn't put too much mind on it, If I didn't won this US OPEN then I was completely destroyed.

So I trained all day, and only stopped because they were closing the courts. So that seemed to be enough for the FBI to suspect of me, and I actually did kinda see it, my brother died, I was left out of the family, maybe I loosed my mind and started to kill the ones I had lost to during the season. But they didn't got anything out of me so they eventually let me go. But again I didn't had time to think much about it, so I continue my routine as always.

"I need your eyes completely on the ball" my coach Alan shouted from the other side of the net, I just nodded feeling my body covered in sweat but I kinda loved to feel the pain of my overtraining, it reminds me im alive.

He shoot the ball, I hit it almost effortlessly, over and over again, I could only hear my coach complementing my backhand and then telling me to move my feet more, I did everything he told me until I felt a pair of eyes that weren't there before, I turned around and the ball hit my hips.

"Fuck!" I yelled as I fell to the floor and caressed my hip. I heard his steps getting closer to me until he was close enough for me to see his black converse and mismatched socks, i recognized him immediately after, its not like you forget those funny mismatched socks. but he didn't tried to help.

"I.. are.. are you okay?" He said shyly staring down at me, I looked up with my eyes mid closed and nodded feeling the sharp pain of the hard ball.

Alan came a few seconds after and helped me stand up. giving the young agent stood awkwardly in front of us a frown. "What are you doing here?, who let you in?" Alan asked.

"Oh yeah... im Dr.Reid i.. met miss Becker yesterday" he took his badge, Alan took a look at it and the at me, I only nodded and he left.

"Can I help you?" I asked with my hand still on my hip. He licked his lips nervously and looked away from my body.

"I... I was wondering if we could... talk?" He said I frowned.

"Like a date?" I asked holding back a giggle when he shook his head and said 'no'multiple times.

"I just... I.. no.. we made some advance on your case... I mean the case and... I wanted you to hear, just in case you could see something we don't" he explained himself speaking so fast my tired brain could barely catch up.

"right now? Im a mess and-" he cut me off before I could finish.

"It really doesn't matter, it's not a date..." he explained and I nodded with an awkward smile.

"Yeah... okay sure" I walked to the bench where I left my things, taking my oversized sweater and put it on me before walking out of the court, following him.

We walked in silence for a few minutes until we reach a park, and he sat in one of the tables where you can play chess, I frowned but took the seat in front of him. He moved a pawn, I didn't moved.

"Do you play?" He asked

"I thought he were going to talk"

"We can do both things"

I shrug and moved a pawn, the exact same one Henry used to move every time we played together, I never won against him...

"We believe our UnSub is a white male in his forties, probably paranoid but tries to act rough so the others can't see how scared he actually is, he kills during the day, so he plans his attacks very cautiously. We believe that he may have some high-ranking position inside the compound, so many things are not questioned and no one would suspect his high authority. We believe that you have interacted with him. at least twice since the open started-" I interrupted him

"That sounds exactly like half of the men Ive know here" I said, returning my focus on the game noticing he was winning without even trying.

"Yeah but, you're in the spotlight, this person is closer to you than you think, its probably on you more frequent social circle, and we think in the moment he will feel the pressure over him he will try to take his anger out on you, his motive"

"What?" I had a pause "so you're telling me this psycho is killing because of me? That doesn't make any sense"

"It does, actually... all the dots connect on you" I shook my head

"This is ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous, why would anyone want to kill because of me?"

"Well I have a theory..." his expression looked like he was trying to make whatever he was going to say less hard. "We did some research when we thought you were the killer... I... I know is not your best year"

"Oh so all of this is because of me being fucking pathetic and not being able to win a single grand slam after my brother died? Someone decided to get mad at me for making them loose money so that's why they're killing my opponents?" I realized it wasn't so crazy like I initially thought and started to feel the guilt growing on me, now I didn't had the weight of a life on my shoulders, but of three innocent women.

I covered my face with my hands resting my elbows on the stone table, Spencer didn't said anything.

"It's not your fault..." he said after an uncomfortable silence, how this could not be my fault?. "Nothing that has happened to you is your fault"

"you know nothing about me" he looked down, and I stood up. "I have to go"

"And wait" he stood up but didn't followed me "don't try to confront this person by yourself, it's dangerous, they will kill you if they feel pressured!" He shouted as I got far from him.

But I couldn't care less if they decided to kill me.

I knew exactly who were they talking about, and I felt stupid I didn't noticed earlier, I couldn't bring the women who were killed back to life but I could make sure that fucker never ever saw the sun again.

I knocked multiple, times but no one responded, I could hear noise inside the hotel room so I kept knocking. "Alan, it's me!" I didn't stopped hitting the door. Suddenly the door was opened, I almost fell inside.