The Shadow of her Heart

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞

Romano

Ever since my father abused my mother, I have harbored a deep-seated hatred for relationships. Those experiences taught me that trust is a rare commodity in this harsh world. They made me loathe the concept of love, convincing me that violence was the only answer. But my brother showed me a different path. Every night, he endured our parents' abuse, positioning himself in front of me like a protective shield. I watched as my mother numbed herself with drugs, collapsing unconscious on the couch, while my father pursued other women. Raised by two addicts, I somehow find a twisted sense of gratitude. Despite the days I spent unable to walk straight from my mother's punishments, their harsh discipline inadvertently shaped me into someone intelligent and self-controlled. I promised myself I would be different, better than them. Yet here I am, embracing the woman who just aimed a gun at my head, fully prepared to end my life. And I realize that if she had pulled the trigger, I would not have lifted a finger to stop her. My sweet ghost, she is the sole beacon of light in this dark, twisted world. When my brother died, I truly felt as though the entire world had turned against me, that no one was left to save me. But then she appeared—the daughter of the lead officer on my case. She took me into her arms that day, and I remember it vividly: her pale arms wrapping around me, holding me close against her chest as I wept until I ran out of tears.

Ten years ago, she was only thirteen, but she seemed older, wiser, and more mature than me. She gave me hope. It might seem wrong—I was sixteen at the time—but I needed her, craved the comfort she offered, I am unsure if she even remembers. I was just a boy drowning in the ruthlessness of the world, suffocated by the encroaching darkness. Anima was like a lifeboat, pulling me into her safety. But now I see the truth—she is far from a safe haven. My queen is a siren, enticing me deeper into the shadows, and I am willingly following her, letting the tendrils of her madness wrap around me as I revere the very air she breathes.

"Non lasciarmi andare." I whisper, only noticing the words left my mouth after it is too late. My voice sounded desperate, my tone pleading. But to my luck my little ghost wraps her arms around my body, reminding me of the night we met. That night I decided I needed to win her for myself.

"Non lo farò, amore." Anima whispers in a comforting tone making all my worries wash away with a single sentence.

I allow my body to relax into her embrace as I bury my face in her neck, inhaling her comforting scent. For a moment, I let go of my worries and allow myself to be enveloped in her loving presence. This may only be the beginning, but my determination remains unwavering. The glass on her windowsill catches the moonlight, symbolizing our shared madness, the profound connection between Anima and me.