Everything I Ever Wanted

The Aftermath

Later that day, I finally arrive home. I say hi to my mom and my dad and immediately go to my room. Shutting the doors behind me, I fall onto my bed. The bedsheets smell like freshly picked flowers, I inhale the smell as I lay on them, closing my eyes. Finally, after a long night I can relax and be in my sweats. Just how I like it. I put my hair into a messy bun, because I can't be bothered to make it look neat, and I take off all my jewellery. Then I proceed to take off what's left of the makeup from last night, considering I cried it all off my face. I tell myself that this is the last time I'm ever going to any of those stupid parties. I'm still hangover but I need to keep my cool, cause of my parents. But damn, I just want to sleep. I check my phone and see Nova's 20 unread messages. She found the heels. A relief just leaves my body and I sigh happily. One problem solved. Now 1 more to go. But frankly, I don't want to solve that problem, Leon's problem. After crying my shit out infront of Nova's house today, I realised that I can't let anyone, especially not teenage boys determine my happiness. So I am trying to let him go. Im trying to let it go. Anyways, when I ask Nova where she found the heels, she says that they were left infront of her doors this morning after I left. Weird. Who would put them there, and a better question who had them? After texting with Nova, she said she was going to check the security cameras and I immediately told her to delete the footage of me crying on her porch. She giggled and said fine. I, however, was not fine. The humiliation, the embarrassment I got from earlier this morning will forever haunt me. Atleast I won't have it on footage. I toss my phone onto my bed, putting it on silent mode and I sit down at my desk. That's when I look into my vanity mirror. I gasp. The loudest gasp leaves my body as I see 3 hickeys covering my neck and collarbone. I cover my mouth as I let out a sigh. Then I whisper a soft "shit" to myself. My first hickeys, I don't even know how Im going to hide that massive shit. Even though, I freaked out about them at first, now that I find myself gently touching my neck and looking at the hickeys, a careless smirk appears on my face. I am smiling. I admire the hickeys, instead of getting all the foundation and concealer I have to try and cover them fast. But no, I sit there and smile, my fingers tracing around them.

My smile disappears when I remember who gave me those hickeys. Thats when I pull out my makeup drawer and search the YouTube for some tips to cover them. After spending about 2 and a half hours listening and watching all kinds of tutorials and tips on youtube and spending about 5 bottles of foundation, the hickeys are less noticeable. I am sweating, cause this was exhausting. I jump onto my bed, letting my hair out of the bun and moving it forward to cover my neck. Just in case, I say. I open my laptop and go to instagram. The moment I open the app, I gasp again. I gasp so loud that my mouth opens wide. I have exactly 99 friend requests and that's not even the worst part. It's the fact some year 11 kid posted a video of me chugging down all those shots. The shots I took after I slipped and fell infront of Leon. Not to mention I look so bad taking shots, now seeing it as a post where I am tagged in is making me puke. That's why I got so many friend requests?? I roll my sleeves up and start looking at the comments and the likes of the post. They all are commenting about how fast I'm taking those shots but then there is a comment that catches my attention really fast. Leon's comment. I rub my eyes just to make sure that what I am seeing is real and not just my bad vision. Um no, it is real, he commented. He said 'y'all wish you were locked in the bathroom for 7 minutes with her huh?' I am speechless. I am staring at this comment he wrote 2 hours ago. 2 hours ago when he told me he didn't want anything with me anymore, like at all. Then he writes that? What the fuck? Im so confused. I scroll down and see another 20 replies to his comment. They are all asking him how it was, if he banged me, if, if, if...I sigh as I realise he is just a stupid teenage boy. I shut my laptop and lay down on my back. Im staring at the ceiling as I think about last night. I think about Leon and our bathroom moment, then I think of how stupid I was to trust Filip, then I remember how crushed I was after Leon left me. I guess this all doesn't make any sense to me. Him even noticing me. Because before that day when we kissed for the first time he never even acknowledged me. Like he didn't care if I existed or if I liked him. I was a little shocked when he said he liked me, I believed him. Foolish girl believed him. Of course he doesn't like me, he was just playing around. Because if he really did like me, he would've noticed all the signs I was giving him since January. He would've said something and not just kiss me and run off. Foolish girl, I am a foolish girl for being so delusional. I'm stupid for even thinking I could get him. 

Cause after all, he was everything I ever wanted.