Dulce Periculum

21. Falling Apart

Though Yunho's dreams were vivid again after visiting the rift and seeing its demons clamber to dig into human flesh, his fear didn't debilitate him as badly as last time. He spent his day off inside, arranging a call with his family and catching up on some animes. San came home after his training and they played some games and Yunho was alright with the dismay of battle.

However, something else occupied his mind and had him pour too much laundry detergent in his and San's wash. This time, instead of stress about needing to do better and about sacrificing his life in vain, Mingi's words spooked around his head.

His guiding was blissful. There was no denying that. Yunho still felt it tingle over his skin sometimes and woke from his dreams about the feeling shamefully aroused. 

With his offer so bold and out in the open, Yunho kept second-guessing himself. Everyone around him urged him to find a guide, and despite being far out of his league, Mingi offered himself.

But no. Yunho's values were firm, and he wasn't swayed by a greed his body wasn't supposed to have. He was still human, despite his abilities. Had a healthy mind to resist certain impulses. Otherwise, he was no more than an animal.

To prove himself, Yunho did his best to stay on top of his classes and training. He showed up on time and took lots of notes, sparred with various espers and guides and maintained a record of holding Hongjoong in place before explosion.

Time passed, and it was easier to shove Mingi out of his mind since he rarely saw him around. Every vile rumour the other espers uttered about him affirmed Yunho's decision.

He finished training with Jongho on a day like any other when his trainer approached him while he cooled off on the ground.

"I noticed you wincing earlier," he didn't beat around the bush and Yunho waved it off with a smile. His side stung in response, but it was no big deal.

"Just the bruise from yesterday. I will have it healed in a few days."

When Jongho crossed his arms, Yunho had a scolding incoming. Had he been lacking? He gritted back the pain to his best abilities.

"No guiding again?"

Yunho sighed. Of course, no one else ran around with some lacklustre bruise even a touch could fix.

"Don't tell Yeosang," he pleaded, but Jongho's brows remained in a strict line.

"You are hurting yourself to the point of endangering those around you. I have to exclude you from training if you don't take care of yourself."

"Please don't!" Yunho blurted out, sounding more desperate than he intended. Too late. He struggled through his embarrassment.

If Jongho excluded him from training, Mingi would definitely find out. And if Mingi found out...

"I will speak to Yeosang and get some medication. I'll take care of myself, I promise!" He continued, begging at Jongho's knees since he hadn't got up yet. Big, pleading eyes blinked up at his ruthless trainer.

Jongho's frown eased, but his sigh was still bothered.

"Even without using your powers, you need guiding. It's no addiction, nor will it lose its effect with time. Just give in and take care of your health," he grumbled, but he let Yunho off the hook this time. When he stalked off with a mumble about how he was an idiot for letting him go, Yunho called a hearty 'yes sir!' after him.

He would go to Yeosang, but later. Anyone could heal a bruise, and Yunho didn't like putting medication into his body unless it was strictly necessary. So he went home for the evening, ate and slept and nothing more came up, so he knew Jongho hadn't tattled on him.