fuck this.
fuck life
fuck you
fuck the entire fucking world.
one for being annoying
one for being sad all the time
one for being innsecure
one for being boring
one for being so vunerable
one for being selfish
one for being "fake"
one for being a dissapointment
one for always letting everyone down
one for being a burden
one for not being a straight girl and for being trans
one for being bi
one for being stupid
one for being dyscalulic
one for being dyslexic
one for being so stupid
one for being a horrible person
one for being obessed with one directon
more just for the hell of it and because i deserve it.
im mutter as i press the blade onto my chest and drag it along. i feel my eyes go damp from the comforting feel of the stinging of my skin being torn apart.
im now crying, but silently. im great at that. ive had a lot of practise.
today, mother fucking dearest has to fucking come into fucking college because my fucking ex best fucking friend fucking reported me to the fucking college because apparently im too fucking useless for fucking anyone.
"bye, i'll see you later" i yell as i leave for the bus at 7:20 AM
silence.
fucking great.
i slam the front door shut and put my earphones in and play hatchet by Tx2 or whatever theyre called, my mate recomended the song to me and i love it, honestly, im slightly concerned for them because its not a happy song about family but whatever, non of my fucking buisiness.
i walk along my road and up to the bus stop, trying to keep back my tears.
i hate it, everyone seems to stare at me on the bus and it makes me extremely uncomfortable but oh well, nothing new, at least theyre not telling me to lose weight and stop eating as much.
as the bus rolls up, i unlock my phone and go onto the stagecoach app. its so fucking useless it barely works. i show the driver my screen and the guy nods.
i go up the steps to the top floor, i have no clue why i still do this buuut i do.
about 3 hours later, someone comes to get me from my lesson for the useless meeting.
once ive left i go back to my lesson and carry on with my work trying to not burst into tears.
once the lesson is finlly over, i grab my bag and dash out the room and walk to the bus stop to get the bus home, i honestly would rather die than get on the bus but i do anyway and let go. i cry.
once im off the bus, i walk to the park near my house and walk to a bench.
i text my mate
A: hey, how you holding up?
me: shit.
i turn my phone off, not wanting to interact with anyone because thats me for you.
i am boiling hot but i cant take my hoodie off because i have cuts all over my arms and everyone seems to know me here.
my eyes are so red, i hate how this happens, like i can pretend perfectly fine that im fine, but if i have red eyes, i cant.
ooh how life sucks right now. it cant get any worse.
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this did happen, but i changed the conversation with my mate and some stuff that hhappened because theyre not relevant.
oooh god life sucks right now
BUT I CAN ACTUALLY LEGALLY MOVE OUT OF HOME WITHOUT MY PARENTS PERMISSION NOW!!!!
just trying to decide if its a good idea or not though
YOU ARE READING
"im fine"
Randomim really not fine. hi, my name is finn, im almost 16 and im not okay. this is my life and i have enough hate in my life already as it is, i dont need anymore.
