Bella (Jessie)

Episode 2: The Talented Mr. Kipling

(Bella is sitting on a terrance, reading "Modern Nanny")

(thumping, low growling)

(Bella screams)

(Mr. Kipling sees Bella, she screams) (wakes up)

Bella: Oh, thank goodness, it was just a dream. (lies down to find Mr. Kipling next to her)

(She screams again)

Bella: Mr. Kipling, you are getting a time out. And no TV for a week.

Karan: I think you are being very harsh. Mr. Kipling paid you a visit because he gets bored in his cage. Plus, he's a cuddler.

Bella: Oh, they explains the claw marks on my calves!

(Dove comes into the room)

Dove: Bella, I have a huge problem. I love my photography class!

Bella: Okay, I know I'm new at this whole nanny thing, but not seeing the problem.

Dove: The problem is I got the world's most laziest partner for this assignment.

(Cameron enters the room)

Cameron: You call it lazy, I call it selective participation. (holds up camera) Now, Bella, give me... pouty nanny.

(Cameron takes a picture of Bella with confused face)

Cameron: Okay, that was more constipated nanny, but I can touch it up. I can't believe I get school credit for taking pictures of cute girls.

Dove: The assignment is to take pictures of New York's flora and fauna.

Cameron: Ooh, I hope those are hot Latin twins.

Bella: Do you have an off switch?

Cameron: Yep! You wanna try and find it?

Bella: Nope. Okay, look. We are going to the park. That way, you guys can work on your assignment, and Karan can take Mr. Kipling for a walk, or a slither, or whatever he does.

Karan: No, no, no, no, no, no. We cannot take Mr. Kipling for a walk.

Dove: If Mrs. Johansson sees him, she'll throw a hissy fit.

Cameron: Yeah, she's the head of the condo board.

Karan: And a real pain in the ashram.

Bella: Oh, is she that annoying lady downstairs who's always carrying that homely baby?

Cameron: It's a dog.

Bella: You're telling me. Someone whomped that child with the ugly stick.

Dove: He means it's a Chihuahua.

Bella: It's Chi-hideous. Look, Karan, I'm not gonna let some old grouch to keep you from walking your pet. We'll just ask Shawn to make sure the coast is clear.

Shawn: (on intercom) I'm on it!

Bella: Shawn, are you eavesdropping again?

Shawn: Now that I've looked up the word... Yes.

(Kitchen)

Robert: (on the phone) I need a loaf of bread, a pound of cheddar cheese, two pounds of roast beef, a jumbo jar of mayonnaise...

Karan: Robert, when you are done ordering your lunch, do not forget to order Mr. Kipling's snack.

Robert: Fine. Do you have any frog legs?

Karan: He does not like the legs.

Robert: How about frog breasts? (Karan smiles and nods) Can I buy those? Um, that's my business. (line disconnects) Hello? And now I have to find a new grocer!