Rekindling the Lost Affection- Haerin/Wonyoung x Reader

Chapter 8- Haerin's Aftermath

This chapter takes place a few weeks after chapter 1 after Haerin breaks up with Y/n.

A/N: Sorry if this chapter is more text and less dialogue. It might be kind of boring, but it's more of an in between chapter.

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Haerin POV:

     No one had expected NewJeans to be so successful right after debuting. Our debut songs, "Hype Boy" and "Attention" quickly broke records and made it onto the Billboard top songs list. Morale and rapport between us girls was higher than ever before. Initially, I was happy- or at least I tried to convince myself that I was.

     However, something Minji said really stuck with me. During a dinner while celebrating another win on a music show, Minji had told us all that she felt like all the sacrifices that she made were now all worth it. Although the other girls all agreed with her, I was only able to give her a fake smile. I think Dani noticed because she came to me afterwards to ask if anything was wrong, but I pushed her away. I needed some time to think by myself.

     Throughout the summer, I began to question my choice to become an idol more and more. Even despite our successes and popularity, I wasn't really sure if the sacrifices I made were worth it. For one, I had given up so much of my freedom. HYBE had been strict with us as trainees, but because the public didn't know about us, we still had some degree of autonomy. We could visit the places we wanted in our downtime, talk to the people we wanted to talk to, make friends, and even date (to some degree). But everything changed after our debut.

     At the height of our promotional period, I could no longer appear in public without fans and reporters following me. I had to wear a mask and dress in plain clothing every time I left the ADOR building, but even that wouldn't stop them. A while ago, I went to a nearby cafe to destress after a long day of work, and unfortunately a reporter recognized me. Without my knowledge or consent, he took a bunch of pictures of me at the cafe and posted it, and before I knew it, at least 50 people had shown up to try to talk to me. They blocked the entrance, and I wasn't allowed to lash out at them or push them to escape. I felt cornered and scared. Luckily, Danielle heard about the commotion and came with a bunch of ADOR employees to get me out of there, but it's still a scary experience that has stuck with me.

     I also felt lonely from time to time. After becoming an idol, it became much more difficult for me to make new friends. When people approached me, I couldn't tell if they were being genuine; I couldn't tell if they appreciated me as a person or if they had ulterior motives. I slowly became more and more skeptical of people in general and closed myself off. Although I was already introverted, during this time, I retreated even further into my already introverted shell. The management at ADOR actually liked this shift in my disposition though, as it seemed to attract fans because it made me look more "mysterious".

     Speaking of management, Min Hee-jin had changed my phone number right before our debut, so I couldn't call my friends from school to hang out or even message them, which only made me feel even more alone. Even though I tried to convince her not to, she said that it was necessary to ensure my privacy as an idol or something like that. The major problem for me was that school had ended until the end of the summer, and almost all my friends did not accept text messages from new numbers. 

     Worst of all, I really regretted my decision to reject Y/n's offer to continue as friends when I broke things off with him. At the time, I thought it was for the best because I was scared that seeing him would make my feelings for him worse. But now, I realized I really want him in my life, and although I couldn't tell him because I was an idol now, I still harbor feelings for him. However, since my phone number got changed, I had no way of repairing our friendship. I tried to send him a text message a while ago, but seeing as there was no response, it was probably filtered out because of his spam settings. Because of this, I hadn't spoken to him since the breakup, and I wouldn't be surprised if he wanted nothing to do with me at this point.

     During this time, I was super grateful for Minji, Hanni, Hyein, and especially Danielle. They were the only people I really talked to during the summer of our debut, and I felt like they kept me grounded in reality. They were my motivation. Every time I fell down during practice, they would help me back up, and every time I danced well, they would congratulate me and shower me with praise. In particular, Danielle, who always seemed happy, talked to me a lot and opened up about her own insecurities. We had a special bond with each other and relied on each other a lot, as it brought both of us comfort knowing that we were both going through the same difficulties.

     Thankfully, as summer and most of our debut promotions ended, I began to feel like I could breathe again. My schedule became more free, and I was excited that I would be returning to the same school that I had attended previously with Y/n and my other friends. I wanted to see everyone again, and I hoped could reconnect with everyone after not having talked to anyone outside of the other NewJeans members all summer.

     But as I sat on my bed in the ADOR building the night before my first day of 11th grade, I wondered: how will y/n react to seeing me at school, and will we be able to repair our friendship?