Dollhouse

Chapter 1

We're supposed to be the perfect family. You know, smiles and hugs and perfection. The usual. But be honest. Is that really how families are?

My stepdad, Ricky, and my mom, Maria, have been married for almost twenty three years. My older brother Caden is twenty one and I'm eighteen. We live in the perfect house where everything is normal.

Well, I wouldn't say normal.

What is a normal family even like? Is there such a thing?

Oh well.

Ricky isn't the kind of father I've always dreamed of. But maybe I dream too much. After all, dad skipped out on mom after I was born. It makes me feel like it's all my fault. Ricky tells me it's my fault. It shouldn't be any of his business. I constantly wonder why mom married him.

Maybe it was for love. I've always wanted that.

I'm walking to school with Caden right now. Mom says it's safer for me because I'm 'so young'. FYI I can handle myself. I mean, I'm eighteen. I was told when I turn eighteen I can do whatever I want, but everyone thinks I'm some sort of foolish child who can't think for herself.

Caden walks me to school every day, then goes home to do who-knows-what. He carries a suitcase for show, wearing a fancy business suit and a perfectly combed haircut.
I go to a regular school with regular people who do regular things. Sort of. Like I said, I don't know what normal is. For all I know I could be normal and not realize it, but what I have doesn't feel like it would be normal.

Normal seems to be how society acts as a whole, and most of what society does is bad anyway. So I guess my family is 'normal'.

I get to school and a weight burdens my shoulders. Cliques are gathered together all around the school. Several groups drinking and smoking, others who have jagged marks on their arms, boys with their arms draped over girls like their possessions, some who look almost too happy to be there. Would I fit in any of these groups? Would I want to?

"You walk me to school to keep me safe, but look at them." I gesture to the entire school with one wave. "How is this safe for me?"

"Oh, Kathrynn." Caden rolls his dark eyes. "You've lived through three years of this. I'm sure you'll be fine."

"Does that mean I can get a tattoo?" I say hopefully. I don't really want one, but I want to see his reaction.

It isn't what I wanted to hear. He curses at me under his breath. Caden gets mad over the simplest things.

"You really want one? Then get one. But when mom finds out..."

"Oooh, is that a threat I hear? I have enough of those at school to worry about."

He shifts his weight to his other leg, uncomfortable. "Who threatens you?"

"So now you care." Anger bubbles up inside me. We keep walking to the front doors, and we're almost inside.

Caden ignores my comment. "Who threatens you?"

I'm nervous to say their names out loud. Why should he know? Why should he care?

"Is it that boyfriend of yours?" He snarls.

"Jack? No!" Jack Gregory is the cutest boy in school. We've been dating for almost the entire school year.

"Then who?" He asks, prying a little too much.

I shake my head. "You need to go."

"I just want to keep you safe," he frowns. "Isn't that enough?"

"No, you just want to cause trouble. Goodbye." I walked away around the corner to who-knows-where and glanced back just in time to see that Caden gave up. He doesn't really care about my life. Does he? His face sheds no emotion so I can't tell when he's lying or not.

I hate school. People are so judgmental. They think they're better than everyone else in every way. It's hard to find good people in the devil's sanctuary.

Then there's him. The only student in school - as far as I know - who actually notices me for something other than dirt.

Yes, it's my boyfriend, Jack Gregory. Don't judge.

When I turn the corner he's standing there frowning. I notice all the small details. His large feet, long legs covered with loose jeans, how his thumbs are jammed into his pockets casually, his light tan, his black muscle hugging shirt, his long strong arms and slightly protruding collar bone, his broad shoulders, his exposed neck, his sharp jawline covered with small stubble, his small lips under a long thin nose, dark bushy eyebrows masking his sweet green eyes, smallish ears, his cleanly cut black hair that covers his eager cowlick. I notice everything.

I notice that he is angry.

"I hate that guy." He spits, balling his hands into fists. His voice is long past low.

"So you heard." I sigh.

"Why does he treat you like that? It makes me sick. What kind of brother-"

"Jack. It's okay now. I'm fine, aren't I?" I spin in a circle to show I'm not hurt, and to show off my outfit. It's a simple short sleeved pink dress that stops above my knee. I wear pink four inch heels and still can't tippy toe tall enough to be as tall or taller than Jack. That's what I love about him. He's just so tall and I'm short enough to be able to wear heels and still have to reach up to peck his cheek.

He smiles just a little. "Fine."

There is a second of silence before our hands find eachother's. We swing our arms with each step like the cute couple we are while we walk to math class.

I talk about how my family gets on my nerves. Jack gets more worked up than I am, and I'm pretty upset.

"This is why we should..." He stops in front of the classroom door to face me. "...live together."

He's mentioned this before, but I've never been allowed to. But now that I'm eighteen I should be allowed to make these choices for myself.

"I'll keep you safe." He adds.

I grab both of his hands, reaching up for a kiss. Our lips touch and it escalates from there. His hands move to my waist and mine to his arms, then to his neck.

"By the way," he breathes. "You look so beautiful."

I smile in our kiss, thanking him.

This is what I want. To be free to choose for myself what I want.

I want Jack.

We separate and I lean on him when everything rushes to my head. My head spins for a few seconds longer so I close my eyes until I can tell down from up.

"I'm in." I smile.

"For what?"

"For us. I want to live with you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I should be allowed to make my own choices, shouldn't I?"

He grins. "I love you so much right now."

I laugh. "Love you too."

We go into the classroom and I know I've made a mistake. I just feel like something is off. Wrong. But what could it be?