Why me?

Chapter 5

Erin's pov

I should have know Demi hasn't changed. She will NEVER change. "Erin are you ready yet?" Dallas asked. I quickly opened the door and came out of the bathroom before running downstairs with my stuff leaving Demi alone in my old room. When I got downstairs they led me to the car with Demi running to catch up. She got in the car and decided that it was a good idea to sit by me. "Why are you sitting by me?" I asked her in a polite harsh kinda tone. "Erin be nice to your sister!" Diana commanded. Demi gave me an evil smile so I glared than looked away. "Erin Demi smiled at you and you glare! that's not accepted in a family." Diana yelled exasperated. "Well since when does 'family' leave you at an orphanage and bit come back for four years?" I but back. That shut her up. When we got to the house, I let Maddie show me to where my room was. After she left I got on my bed and tried to fall asleep. Of course I had a nightmare.

Nightmare

"Demi?" I asked. "What?" she answered sharply. "Why are you bleeding?" I questioned. "The voices in my head did it." she answered. I ran over to her and ripped the blade out of her hand and flushed it down the toilet. "Now will you stop?" I asked. She just hit me.

Three years later

"I'm only going to this rehab place because of Maddie. She's the reason I stay strong at all. That hurt. "Ok Demi, we will drop you off after we take Erin somewhere." Mom told her "Can I have a minuets alone with Erin?" Demi asked sweetly. "Sure go ahead." Mom replied. Demi took me into a room and slapped me. Maddie's the reason I'm alive right now bitch. You didn't do anything to help me. your the reason I'm in this situation in the first place." she whisper-yelled. Then she took a bottle and and threw it at me. The glass shattered against my skin and I let out a quiet-ish scream.

End of nightmare

I woke up to two arms shaking me. "Erin are you ok?" a frantic Demi asked. "Yes I'm fine," I responded quietly. "Obviously your not, your crying." She stated. "Just go." I commanded. "No. talk," she answered sternly, "what was your nightmare about?" why did she wanna know? how do I tell her it was about her without getting her upset? "I can't," I replied, holding back tears. "Yes you can now tell me what your fucking night mare was about!" she yelled. "it was about you beating me before I got abandoned by your family!" I screamed back. "Our family," she corrected. "No your family. if it was our family, I wouldn't have been dropped off at the place and left to get beaten and raped. if this was my family as well they wouldn't have left me and made me feel like I wasn't good enough to where I took it out on myself!" I sobbed out before quickly putting my hand over my mouth. "What do you mean take it out on yourself?" she asked cautiously. "Nothing Demi," I spat. She put her hand on my back but if course I flinched and scooted away. "Erin, I'm not going to hurt you, you can trust me enough to tell me." she calmed. "I think you know what I mean," I whispered softly. "Lift your sleeves." she commanded. I knew there was no point in fighting back, she would just force me too anyways. I held my arm out towards her and let her lift my sleeve. After about a minute of her staring, I heard her muffle a sob. "Why did you do this?" she asked. "Everything," I answered. "What's everything? tell me why." Maybe I should just tell her. It may stop her from telling mom. "it started when.........when you started beating me. It got worse when I was dropped off at the care home. There, all the girls bullied me and beat me. One night a couple weeks ago, one of the girls got a guy to rape me just for money. That happened every Thursday night. Then most of the recent fresh ones are from tonight, when you slapped me. The cutting wasn't that bad until I got dropped off at the care home. I always wondered why they left me there and no one else. I started to wonder why you only beat me. then I almost died because I remembered when you told Maddie that he was the only reason you went into to treatment and that Dallas and mom and dad also convinced you. I cut a little too deep when I Thought about that. I was the one who tried stopping you, I was the one who always took the blade away before you ended up killing yourself, yet you didn't care about that, you never told me I was special to you like you did Dallas, never called me your baby girl like you do Maddie, I don't even think you've ever hugged me." I told her to answer her question. "Erin, do you really want to know why I hate you?" she asked. I nodded my head yes. "You're right, you were the one to stop me and you were there for me when no one else was, but in the state I was, I didn't want you to take the blade, I wanted to die and you stopped me from doing that. I also wanted something to take my anger and pain out on. Since I was mad at you for stopping me most of the time, I chose you, it became a habit. I knew Maddie was strong enough to tell mom bout what I did but you, at the time you were weak and vulnerable, you wouldn't tell. When I slapped you earlier, that was reflex, I was so used to doing that when I got mad that it just happened." she told me. "But that doesn't explain the hatred in your eyes when you slapped me, when you slapped me your eyes weren't living and sweet, they were cold and hard an showed nothing but hate." I questioned. "That wasn't hate for you, that was hate for myself." she answered. "That made me wonder if-if you even loved me at all." I admitted quietly. "Baby girl I do love you, and I want to thank you for saving me, without you I would've been dead!" Demi exclaimed. "Demi, was I part of the reason you went to treatment?" I asked. "No you weren't, but let me explain. At the time I didn't want to go to treatment and because of you I was forced to. I can't just say you were the reason now because I'm out of treatment, when I went in treatment you weren't the reason, but you are the reason I'm alive I can tell you that much." she replied. I was crying when she finished. I tried turning around so she wouldn't see but that didn't work. She saw and she pulled me into a hug. with me still in her arms she laid down and pulled me into her, spooning me. I just snuggled my head into her chest and moved in closer. I felt safe in her arms for once.