Spring broken

21 0 0
                                    

[The scene starts with Blitzo and the crew driving their gray van along the street.]

Blitzo: I love this song! *poorly singing along with "Mustang Dong" on the radio* ♫ You were a spicy little- uh- Demon with the- uh- bleach blonde haaaair! ♫

[Loona is shown sitting in the passenger seat next to Blitzo, looking mildly annoyed at his singing. Moxxie covers his somehow non-existing ears in the back with Phenex and Liam, while Millie rolls down her window and smiles.]

Blitzo: ♫ Fieeendin' for that semen when I caught your stare... ♫

[They drive into an old crowded parking lot.]

Blitzo: ♫ Thooought it might be love, but you went--♫

[A pink car pulls into the remaining parking space.]

Blitzo: Oh, shit! Fu-

[Blitzo slams onto the brakes and the van skids to a stop. Blitzo turns off the radio and glares at the person in the pink car. He glances at the license plate, which reads "SUCK-4-LIFE".]

[Blitzo slams onto the brakes and the van skids to a stop. Blitzo turns off the radio and glares at the person in the pink car. He glances at the license plate, which reads "SUCK-4-LIFE".]

Blitzo: Oh, you "suck for life", do ya?!

[Blitzo pulls out a megaphone and yells into it.]

Blitzo: Listen up, you unoriginal pink cum dump! You have three goddamn seconds to get your tits out of my parking spot!

[The passenger steps out of her front car seat with high heels. Blitzo lowers the megaphone, shocked.]

Blitzo: Oh, shit! Verosika! And Cortney!

[Verosika blows a bubble of pink gum before it pops.]

Verosika: Blitz-o.

Cortney: hey bitch~

Blitzo: I should have known you two would be here. I could smell fish for miles, which is odd. Because, I believe the nearest ocean is...

[Blitzo falls and faceplants onto the ground before standing up.]

Blitzo: ...three Rings DOWN!

Verosika: And I should have known you'd be here when I heard the amber alerts.

Cortney: ha burn.

Blitzo: Oh, yeah? I'm surprised they let your fat ass outta rehab. I can see you're still a drunken whore, clutching onto that Beelzejuice bottle like it's the last cock in Hell!

[Verosika flips her long hair back dramatically.]

Verosika: They let me out because I'm still famous. And rehab is for sad, loser wash-ups.

[Verosika takes a drink from her bottle and wipes her mouth with her thumb.]

Verosika: So, your sister says "Hi".

[ Liam gets out of the van and vomits]

Liam: next time I'll just take the bus.

Cortney: babe!

[cortney hugs Liam]

Cortney: it's so good to see you.

Liam: good to see you too hi Vee.

Verosika: hey hot stuff~

[Blitzo angrily steps in front of Verosika.]

Blitzo: Why are you parkin' here?! This is the ONLY parking spot my company has! So take your tampon race car somewhere else!

Helluva boss: new recruitsWhere stories live. Discover now