Wandering The Dark

Cold As Ice

I'm dying in your absence,
Alone in the cold air's violence.
I know I left your fire,
I was sad I wasn't allowed closer.
One side of me was warmed
While the other was still cold.
You'd warm my heart up,
Then the snow would cool it down.
Stuck in an endless tempereture change
I didn't know where to go.
So I left your side,
Into the dark, I walked.
I thought it'd hurt less
But it feels like I've lost something vital.

Now I wander around your camp
While my insides cramp.
The snow left me damp.
If I came back,
Would you let me in?
I'm afraid you'd leave me out.

Now I let everything out,
The words I couldn't say to you
Between ice, they echo through.

A/N: Yeah, this one just came to my mind out of nowhere. Like the rest, this one is meant for one person who meant so much to me throughout of this academic year. I've spent most of my time with her and I did stuff that I thought that I could never do for someone else. I mean, changing my route back home to spend more time with her, picking flowers for her birthday and stuff. I've used all my courage and... Here I am, writing poems like this. I really wanted things to be different with her. She was the only crush I had that I could be close to. Still, I felt like she was uninterested, didn't want to talk and was ignoring me from time to time. I tried to put my worries at bay but after she rejected me 2 months ago, they worsened. I still tried to stay as friends with her, though. After a while, I began feeling like I was just an observer around her and her other friends. I felt like none of them would care if I wasn't there. I mean, I get it, I'm just a random guy she got to know six months ago and she has dearer friends, but still, I get mad at my life for putting me through stuff like this. Around 10 days ago, I texted her to notice her that I wouldn't go to see her during breaks at school and stuff. It might sound selfish and attention-craving of me, and maybe it really was, but I thought that if I stopped talking with her then I could move on and stop being sad. We haven't spoken since then. I don't know what she feels or something. All I can know is that I regret my decision, but otherwise wouldn't be easier for me either. I guess passing her by without looking at her or saying a word is the hardest to do. I really wish that she could talk to me and fix this instead of letting me go, but I'm the one who cut ties, so who am I to expect something like that? What do other people do in situations like this?