Today was my birthday. Dinosaur decorations littered the room. However, much to my disappointment, the gin was pink not green. While I was the prettiest girl at the party, I by sure had the biggest dick. This was obvious because the kilts didn't hide my massive balls. My birthday cake exploded. The inside was green! My grin reached past my eyes up to my forehead. My mother was disappointed, she expected me to look human. My father walked into the room, he spoke Finnish to me and said, "set this house on fire with your family inside." My father walked back out the room and drowned himself, followed by my dog resurrecting itself and telling me, "fuck you." I laughed in glee. I passed out on the floor.
