DELCO DUDES!

Episode One: Detachable Penis

(The scene begins with Delco Dudes in Brian's basement. Andrew is tuning his guitars as Malik is sitting at his drum kit, sipping on a Wawa iced coffee. Brian is sitting on the couch with his guitar, looking pissed. Edwin Boner is sat in his usual corner)

Brian: Andrew, it's been fifteen minutes. Where the hell is this "amazing singer" you keep talking about?

Andrew: (while still tuning his guitar) She'll be here any minute, dude.

Malik: (Putting down his coffee in exchange for drumsticks) You keep saying that every five minutes.

Brian: Yeah man! I'm getting sick of this shit. Our first day of summer after a grueling college semester was supposed to be filled with us jamming out! Not waiting for some mystery woman whose trying to replace me as lead singer (He lays a bit on the couch and starts playing random cords)

Andrew: (Andrew stops tuning his guitar) Shut up Brian! I keep trying to tell you, she's amazing! Do I have to show you the video I took of her at last week's end-of-the-year celebration again? She was killing it at karaoke! (he begins to take out his phone)

Malik: (Calmly lowers Andrew's phone) For the last time, that's a picture you accidentally took of yourself while watching her perform.

(Camera cuts to a shot of Andrew's phone, in which a very unflattering selfie of Andrew is shown)

Andrew: Oh, right! (He puts his phone away)

Brian:(while looking at the clock on the wall) If she's not here in the next 10 seconds, Malik and I are starting without you Andrew.

Malik: (Readies his drum sticks)

(A loud door-bell can be heard, surprising Malik and Brian, but making Andrew excited. Liam, Brian's older brother comes down the stairs along with Laverne)

Liam: (While walking down with Laverne) And you're certain this is the right address? This is where you want to be? (he gestures to the basement as a whole)

Laverne: Oh yes! I have been told nothing but amazing things about this band! (she smiles at Liam)

Liam: (in disbelief) My god, who told you such lies?

Andrew: (throwing his arm up in the air) Me! Me! I did! I told her we were cool!

(Brian and Malik look at Andrew like he's crazy)

Liam: (pushing past Laverne to begin going back upstairs) I think that's more than enough stupidity for me (he turns around, pointing a finger at Brian) And I better still be able to hear after today's practice!

Laverne: (looking around the room and eventually towards Andrew) So...this is really where your band practices?

Brian: (sits up immediately to look at Andrew angrily) Your band?

(Brian looks at Andrew and Malik with an angry expression, gesturing to have a group huddle. Andrew and Malik get up towards Brian. Laverne is confused. The boys huddle in front of Laverne. She sits down on the couch and notices Edwin sitting in his corner)

Brian: (angrily sputtering) Alright Andrew, what the hell? You told this chick this was your band? What other lies did you tell her?

Andrew: (Looks like he's thinking, then begins to talk really fast) Well...first I told her I liked her karaoke skills. Then I mentioned I had a band. Then we shared some nachos. Then I said we played really well. Then she asked if we had a lead singer. Then I told her yeah. Then she asked if our lead singer was good. Then I told her no. Then she asked if she could watch us practice and I said "why don't you audition to replace our lead singer? You'd be a lot better!" Then she said okay and I–