a life you'd die to leave.

X - all alone

(TW SMUT)

what happens when you start to sabotage the healthiest situation out of fear.

summer was slowly coming to an end, it was already the end of september. i couldn't even get over the fact that i was even with harley now. but my mind was bigger than my heart, i overthought too much. he could see it.

"are you okay?" harley asked lifting my head up.

"hm? yeah. i'm great. are you?" i spoke in response, finishing with a question to change the topic.

"i'm fine, babe, you just looked worried." he said frowning slightly.

i knew that it wasn't just us; we were out with his family for dinner but it felt as if he'd just appeared, as if i was alone.

the journey back to his house was the most awkward for me. yet, soon enough, we were back. it was just harley and i; his family had gone back to his grandparents. this was the night things began to change.

"you've been awfully quiet, are you sure you're okay?" he asked.

"yes, i'm just a bit tired" i told him. his arms wrapped around my waist tight as he stood behind me.

"you look absolutely jaw dropping in that dress." he mumbled to himself as he began to leave kisses down my neck.

i turned myself around, looking up to face him. i don't know what came over me but my heart took control. i pulled him closer, our lips pressing against each others. we began to walk backwards, he laid back on the bed as i crawled on top. his hands roamed my body, slipping the straps to my dress off my shoulders and gripping my hips. my caring had gone out the window, i found myself tugging at the bottom of his shirt, for my first time and the first time i was desperate. once he removed his shirt his attention drew to the dress still on me, it had fallen to my thighs having nothing to hold it up; his lips detached in a flash to remove the dress, yet no time was wasted as he smashed his lips back into mine. our bodies in awe together, and it wasn't long until i was unzipping his jeans and practically begging through every kiss. he flipped the pair of us; i was now on the bed. he removed his jeans and suddenly his lips were swiftly and softly making their way from my lips down to my collarbones. it was getting real now.

"are you sure?" he whispered in my ear, his hands glued to my waist.

"please." i spoke in almost a begging tone, i needed this and i'd waited too long.

harley wasted no time, his thumbs slipped between the side waistband of my underwear and my bare skin, sliding them off in almost an instant. his soft hands swiftly parted my legs, roaming my body. he leaned down, placing soft kisses against my skin beginning from my chest and down; this fucked with my breathing. i was practically panting like a dog, i was so sensitive to his touch let alone his trail of kisses down my body before he even touched me. his kisses had trailed along to my thighs, with each kiss he slowly grew closer and i grew closer to complete desperation. his eyes shot up at me, as i looked down we made eye contact; could this be anymore embarrassing? as if i wasn't complete naked, and at my most vulnerable in front of him. his kisses were now practically against me, his thumb ran over my clit enough times to make me twitch, but it was annoying enough he wouldn't give me what i wanted; him. he pulled the skin back softly, his tongue trailing against it as his eyes locked on to mine. my head leaned back as i eased slightly, gripping the sheets gently with pleasure. his tongue had moved, he was now running it up and down my slit, his saliva lubricating me. it was like he enjoyed this; messing about, playing the waiting game. i'd had about enough of waiting, i grabbed him and pulled him back up, pulling him down into a kiss. our minds were far from the reality of what we were about to risk, but impulsiveness gave in and he slid into me. i bit down on his bottom lip, grabbing his arm slightly.

"it's okay, flo, i'll be gentle." harley spoke soothingly as his hips began to thrust, it was really happening.

each thrust grew a little more pace, at the same time as i was getting more used to it, i still had grip on his arm, but i'd never felt such pleasure in my life. soon enough, these thrusts had grown a lot more pace, my nails dragged against his back out of pleasure. each time, i grew closer and closer until.

"mmm." we moaned in unison, my heart pounding, our breathings still heavy, sweat dripping, but i hadn't realised something; he finished inside of me, with no contraceptive.

"are you okay?" harley asked, running his thumb against my cheek gently, i nodded with a smile.

for the first time in a few weeks, i felt relaxed, i felt relieved.