Marahuyo

Kabanata 18

"Anne, okay ka lang?" tanong ni Julie nang mapansin niyang malalim ang iniisip ko.

Nagkakape ako malapit sa bintana namin habang pinagmamasdan ang pagsinag ng araw.

Pilit akong ngumiti. "Yeah, perfectly fine."

Mukhang hindi siya nakumbinsi sa sagot ko. Kumuha siya ng isang monobloc chair at tumabi sa akin habang hawak ang kan'yang kape.

"These past few days, mukha kang blooming pero bakit mukhang stressed ka ngayon? May nangyari ba?" tanong niya.

I sighed. "Medyo nabo-bother lang ako tungkol sa kung anong meron kami ni Gian."

Pinagmasdan niya ako nang mabuti.

"Spill."

"You know that I'm glad that we are friends. But I like him, even before. I'm scared that spending more time with him will make my feelings grow more. He just want some friends but here I am, catching feelings."

"I understand." She sipped on her coffee and nodded. "Pero sigurado ka bang gusto ka lang niya as a friend?"

I raised my eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

My response made her shake her head in disbelief. "Friends don't do what you are both doing right now, Anne. Best friend nga tayo pero never kitang hinatid sa bahay niyo."

Nilapag niya ang kan'yang baso bago tuluyang humarap sa akin. Ipinatong niya ang kan'yang paa sa gilid ng upuan ko.

"Hindi ka ba nagtataka na bigla siyang nakikipag-close sayo?"

Mabagal akong umiling. "Kaya naman naging magkaibigan kami dahil wala siya masyadong kilala dito sa campus."

Ilang sandali niya akong tinitigan, tila pina-process pa ang sinabi ko. Then, she rolled her eyes and slightly pushed my chair.

"That's not an enough reason."

"But that's what I can think of."

We remained silent for a few minutes. Pinagmasdan ko lang siya na mukhang malalim ang iniisip. I was hoping that she have the answer that I'm looking for.

Bumaling siya sa akin. "Anne, what if you ask him? Para hindi ka na rin nabo-bother. So, you can know where you really stand in his life."

Saktong may klase ako sa CSSH sa araw na iyon, kaya habang nagdi-discuss ang professor namin ay nag-iisip na ako ng pwede kong itanong kay Gian. I want to ask him directly but I'm not sure if I can pull it off.

Nang dumating ang uwian, lumabas na ako ng room. I'm already expecting that he's waiting for me outside. Paglingon ko sa railings malapit sa room nila ay nakita ko siyang malayo ang tingin, tila malalim ang iniisip.

Lumapit ako. "Hey, Gian."

Lumingon siya sa akin at ngumiti. Nagsimula na kaming naglakad pababa ng second floor.

"How's your day?" tanong niya.

"Fine," I forced a smile. "You?"

"Great," masayang tugon niya.

Nanatili kaming tahimik. I can feel the heavy atmosphere between us.

Sumusulyap siya sa akin pero kunwari ay hindi ko iyon napapansin. Nang makarating kami sa covered walk ay pinutol niya ang katahimikan.

"Is something bothering you?"

The question served as a cue for me to speak up. Tumigil ako sa paglalakad at gano'n rin siya. I faced on his direction and looked up to reach his gaze. Then, I breathed deeply.

"Gian..." I said and roamed my eyes around the place, hoping that no one will hear us. I gulped, trying to push the uneasy feeling in my throat. "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?" he asked, cluelessly.

"This. Hinihintay mo ako lagi at hinahatid pa sa boarding house. It's confusing me," I said.

Naramdaman ko ang panlalamig ng aking kamay. My heart is suddenly beating rapidly. Pinagmasdan niya ako, tila iniisip pa niya kung anong pwede niyang isagot.

But there's a fondness in his eyes, as if he's been wanting to tell me something but he couldn't.

He let out a deep breathe. "Do you really want to know?"

I stared back at him. Tila mas lumapit ang distansya naming dalawa. I can almost see my reflection through his dark shade iris.

"Y-yes..." I said, barely making a sound.

He stepped forward, towards my being. I needed to look up to maintain our eye contact. I can even smell his perfume and see how his chest keeps raising as he breathe. My heart is beating so loud, I feel scared that he might hear my yearning.

"I like you, Arianne... and I want to court you."