Prologue

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The rain crashed incessantly against the window pane and left a rhythmic drum sound that echoed in the nocturnal silence. The only other noise in the room was the quiet snoring of my roommate and best friend Stella. The full moon shone through the window and dipped the room in a soft, silver light that threw the contours of the furniture and the delicate curtain shadowy on the walls.

The room itself was a mixture of cosy disorder and personal history. Books piled up on the bedside table, and a half-open drawer revealed a fleeting look at notebooks and old letters. The warm blanket under which I lay offered little comfort against the cold of the thoughts that kept me awake.

I lay there, unable to sleep, while my thoughts constantly revolved around what I had done. Why did I act like that? The question gnawed at me, drilled deeper and deeper into my consciousness. A heaviness weighed on my chest, and I felt as if I was trapped in a whirlpool of remorse and confusion.

I never thought that my life could get so out of joint. I only knew such stories from books or films in which chaos always had a certain distance from its own reality. But now it was my reality, and the realisation hit me like a cold, ruthless gust of wind. The night seemed endless, and sleep remained a distant dream, while I wondered how I could ever find peace again.

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