Playboy's misstake - Reupload

Chapter 6

As I walk home, my steps become slower and slower. I realize that what I have done isn't right. With each step I take, I want to turn around and run back, but I just have too much pride to accept my mistake. I can't shake the image of Ella being overwhelmed in the doctor's office from my mind and replay the sound of her voice calling after me when I left again and again in my mind. The streets are quiet as I make my way home, the familiar sights and sounds of the city don't give me the usual peace I get from them today. Anger, frustration, guilt, all of these emotions swirl together in me, making a poison for my heart.By the time I reach my front door, I have accepted my mistake. I am still hesitant to admit it to others though, but I know that I'll have to make it up to Ella. I slam the door shut behind me, the sound echoing through the entire house but I don't even care if anyone else is home right now. There shouldn't be though, since everyone should be at work or school and Ella and I only got the day off to go to the doctor's. As I sit down alone in my room, I think to myself: "How could you be so careless, so selfish? How could you just leave Ella alone when she needed me the most? You told her, you'd be there for her and now you just proved her, that how badly she was thinking of you was right." Full of frustration, I throw my phone through the room, only to realise that that might not have been a very intelligent move. As I lift the phone up, gladly, it doesn't show any sign of a scratch but I decide to punch my pillow instead with all the force I have. And with each punch, I feel a little bit of the tension drain away, a little bit of the anger dissipate into the air and I gain certainty that I will apologise to Ella. Finally, I sink to the floor, feeling tired, my head in my hands, tears of frustration and regret now flowing down my cheeks. But my determination stays, to make things right with Ella, to prove that I can be better than the selfish, careless boy I have been. I collapse onto my bed.I don't know how long I lie there before I remember that Ella does not have another home anymore, so I instantly jump up, get a coat and run out into the streets, on my way to find Ella and make amends for my mistakes. The streets are dark as I search for Ella, my heart pounding with anxiety and fear. The only place I know where she might be is a little bench on the way between the doctor's office and our school since she told me that it is her favourite place to be when she is upset or just needs some space to breathe. As I walk towards that place, I see a silhouette sitting on exactly that bench. The closer I get, the more clear it becomes to me that this is the person I'm looking for. "Ella?" I call out with a certain hint of worry in my voice. Ella looks up with red eyes, tears running down her face. "Go away" she mutters, turning her head away so that I can't see how miserable she must be feeling.With a sigh, I let myself down next to her. "I'm so sorry, Ella. I swear, I mean it," I whisper, my voice barely a whisper: "I know that what I did wasn't right and I shouldn't have let my emotions take control over me. I know that it is just as hard, probably even harder for you than it is for me. I know this is no excuse for what I did but I really am sorry and I hope I can be there for you better in the future if you still want to give me the chance to do that. I know that this is exactly what you expected of me and I'm sorry I fucked up. I'll try to do better in the future."For a long moment, Ella says nothing, her gaze fixed on the ground. But then, slowly, she turns to face me, her swollen eyes clearly showing me how much she had cried. "I don't know if I can trust you again. You really did hurt me," she admits softly: "But I believe in you that you can do better in the future."I nod, my heart pounding with relief. "I'll prove you right," I promise earnestly. Hand in hand, Ella and I walk back to my house, our footsteps echoing through the silent streets.