Dreaming boys

★Buy affection💌

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Gunil pov

In my life, loneliness has always been a constant companion. Since I was little, I learned the meaning of being neglected, while my parents were absent, trapped in their work commitments, leaving me alone with the bare walls of my room as my only company.

I had a lot of money that couldn't buy affection; I tried many times, my friends were here for my money. I hoped that my wealth could fill the void inside me. But the shared laughter and moments of happiness were just illusions, as I realized too late that true friends stay with you for companionship and not for money.

Instead of finding the much-desired friendship, I only discovered opportunistic individuals attracted by my wealth. I opened up to them, confided my problems to them, cried on their shoulders. My loneliness became even more intense, enveloping me like a dense and oppressive fog.

To escape the weight of my empty existence, I sought refuge in drugs and alcohol. In those substances, I tried to drown my sorrows. The hallucinations at first scared me, then they became part of me. The drug had become my norm; there was noise around me, a pleasant noise that didn't make me feel alone, when I actually was, but when the effect faded, I felt like dying, the silence returned and choked me.

I realized I had become addicted, but instead of freeing myself, I was dragged further down into a abyss of self-destruction. In the shadow, I realized that I was not only addicted to drugs and alcohol, but also to the search for someone to love me and care for me for who I am. "Am I destined to wander in the dark forever, or will I be able to break the chains of my loneliness?" It's a question I always ask myself, but I'm in a tunnel, I don't see the light, I'm about to burst and there's no one who can tell me "It's okay, you'll make it". I can only rely on myself.

Even when surrounded by people, I always feel lonely, as if a cold shadow envelops me and separates me from the rest of the world. Even when I smile, there's an echo of sadness in my heart; none of the people here can truly understand what I'm going through.

I hope that one day someone will notice what I'm going through and say, "You're not alone."

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──