Dreaming boys

★Day by day

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The next day, I woke up with a mix of anxiety and curiosity. The night had been restless, full of thoughts about my past and the uncertain future that awaited me. I got out of bed and, after washing up, went downstairs for breakfast.

The common room was already lively. Some kids were eating, others chatting in small groups. I approached the buffet table, trying not to draw too much attention. While I was filling my plate with some slices of bread and a bit of jam, I heard a familiar voice behind me.

"Good morning, Hyeongjun!" It was Jungsu, with his usual contagious smile. "Did you sleep well?"

"More or less," I replied, trying to appear calm.

As we chatted, I saw Jungsu raise a hand to greet a boy who was approaching. Jungsu ran towards him and hugged him enthusiastically. The boy was much shorter than him, skinny, with big, shiny eyes, short black hair, and a very large dark green hoodie. When he saw Jungsu, he smiled.

I remembered seeing him at the entrance the day before; he was one of the boys who seemed indifferent. As soon as the short boy saw me, he made a grimace and then looked at Jungsu. The latter chuckled and told him not to worry, then turned towards me.

"This is Jiseok, my boyfriend," said Jungsu, with a radiant smile.

Jiseok looked at me with suspicious eyes, but he just gave a slight nod of greeting. I smiled. "Nice to meet you, I'm Hyeongjun." He scanned me and then gave a weak smile.

The day passed with various activities organized by the community. They were quite boring, except for the drawing ones. Jungsu showed me around the place better and told me about his friends. About Jiseok... He was a quiet boy. That evening, before dinner, Jungsu introduced me to the rest of his group. There were Gunil and Jooyeon, both with a friendly and welcoming demeanor. They teased each other like my brother and I used to do, then I found out they weren't blood-related brothers. Shortly after, Seungmin also arrived, with the same detached attitude as the day before.

During dinner, I was invited to sit with them. I tried to integrate into the conversations, listening and responding when a question was directed at me. However, I noticed that Jungsu didn't touch his food. He seemed to be lost in his thoughts, and something in his gaze made me suspect that something was wrong. Jiseok also seemed worried about him.

While we were eating, Gunil spoke to me. "So, Hyeongjun, how do you find it here? Is it different from what you expected?"

"Yes, it's very different. I thought it would be more... cold. Instead, everyone seems very welcoming," I replied sincerely.

Jooyeon nodded. "I understand what you mean. I was very nervous when I first arrived. But you'll see, with time you'll get used to it and find your place."

"Is there something you like to do in your free time?" Gunil asked, trying to get to know me better.

"I love playing the guitar. Unfortunately, the only reason I went to school was the music course, but now it's been closed."

Jooyeon smiled. "We have a guitar here. Maybe you could play something for us one of these days."

"Yes, Jungsu told me, I'd like that," I replied.

Meanwhile, I noticed that Jungsu still hadn't touched his food or at least was pushing it from one side of the plate to the other with his fork. It worried me to see him like that. After dinner, while we were tidying up the room, I approached Jungsu. "Hey, are you okay? you didn't eat anything."

Jungsu looked at me and forced a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just wasn't very hungry, that's all."

I wasn't convinced, but I decided not to press. Whatever the problem was, I hoped that Jungsu would feel comfortable enough to talk to me about it sooner or later.

Later, while we were sitting in the common room, I tried to engage Jungsu in a lighter conversation. "So, Jiseok is your boyfriend, huh? How long have you been together?"

Jungsu relaxed a bit and smiled. "Yes, we've been together for about six months. It's one of the few good things that have happened to me since I've been here."

"He seems like a nice guy," I commented.

"He is. He's had a tough life, like all of us here. But together, we try to overcome everything," Jungsu said, his gaze becoming softer as he spoke about Jiseok.

"I'm glad to hear that. You know, I also hope to find someone to share my life with, one day," I said, opening up a bit.

Jungsu looked at me with understanding. "I'm sure you'll find someone, Hyeongjun. You're a good person, it shows."

"Can I ask you why you're here? ... Yesterday you seemed sad when we talked about it, so I didn't want to ask." Actually, I suspected the reason. Jungsu sighed. "I'm... anorexic and my parents can't take care of me, but it's okay, it's going well, just a few relapses," he finally smiled.

That night, as I was getting ready for bed, I thought back to everything that had happened during the day. I realized that, despite Seungmin being my roommate, he still hadn't spoken to me. He didn't talk during dinner either, but I had found a group of people willing to welcome me and make me feel part of something.

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