Male Reader x Hazbin Hotel

Scrambled Eggs

[We open with a shot of KeeKee asleep on the sofa, with Charlie, Vaggie and Razzle and Dazzle putting up a banner that reads "Happy first week, Sir Pentious!"]

Charlie: That looks perfect! Aah! I am so excited that Sir Pentious is staying at the hotel!

Vaggie: Um, Pentious was just trying to take over the city with his weird steampunk bullshit a few days ago.

Charlie: Well, I haven't seen him try to pull any of that here.

[Sir Pentious comes in, rolling in a new machine that his Egg Boiz are sitting on.]

Vaggie: What the hell is that?

Sir Pentious: Oh, hello, purple female. It's my new invention, the Skin Flayer 11,000! I'm really looking forward to shooting the other residents.

Charlie: What? Why?

Sir Pentious: Everyone is being too nice. Obviously it must be a lie. I can sense that they are planning to kill me, but when? How? I must be prepared! Ooh, the new parts of my machine are here.

[Odette and Clara come in, wheeling in boxes of weapons. Pentious runs over to them]

Odette: *holds out clipboard* Sign, please.

[Sir Pentious signs the clipboard while Clara wheels in the boxes]

Odette: Thank you for your business. Enjoy your Carmine purchase.

[Odette and Clara walk towards Y/N, they then curtsy and Y/N nods to them]

Clara: We look forward to seeing you at the meeting Y/N.

Y/N: As do I~

Odette: Mother misses your company.

Y/N: I had assumed~

[Odette and Clara walks out of the lobby as Sir Pentious takes the crate full of parts and weapons for his machine. As he slithers back, Vaggie realizes whom he's buying from.]

Vaggie: Carmine? As in, Carmilla Carmine? You are buying parts from an overlord?

Sir Pentious: Uh, of course. She's the top weapons dealer in Hell.

Vaggie: Okay, well that stops right now.

[Vaggie takes Pentious's boxes away.]

Sir Pentious: Hey!

Vaggie: You absolutely cannot build weapons in this hotel. No one is trying to kill you. People are being nice because they want you to feel welcome.

[Sir Pentious looks at Vaggie with a wry expression. He peeks over his machine to scowl at the other residents and workers. The camera pans to Husk downing a bottle in the bar, who flips off Sir Pentious. Angel Dust, standing near the bar on his phone, does the same. Y/N, sitting on the couch, does the same while spinning his gun in his opposite hand. Niffty, who is dusting a corner of the wall, looks at him and does a sinister-sounding giggle]

Sir Pentious: Hmm, I have my doubts.

Vaggie: Well, it's true. You have to trust us.

Sir Pentious: But I don't.

Charlie: Well, why don't we focus on that for today's activities?

Vaggie: Not before we lay some ground rules. No more building weapons, no more plotting against other guests, and you need to get rid of these things.

[Vaggie points at Egg Boiz who were on the crate of weapons. 2 Egg Boiz, having a tug-of-war over a laser, accidentally set it off and blow a hole in the roof, much to Vaggie's frustration.]