Writing Natural Sentences
Samuel Johnson was undoubtedly talking about one of the greatest temptations facing writers— to use lots of words (big words, clever words, fancy words). For some reason, we get the idea into our heads that writing simply is not writing effectively. Nothing could be further from the truth. The best writing is honest and natural, not fancy or artificial. That's why it is so important to master the art of freewriting. It is your best chance at developing a sincere, simple style. The samples that follow demonstrate wordy and artificial writing; rewrite any passages in your own work that sound like these sentences.
Deadwood—Deadwood is wording that fills up lots of space but does not add anything important or new to the overall meaning.
Wordy: At this point in time, I feel the study needs additional work before the subcommittee can recommend it be resubmitted for further consideration.
Concise: The study needs more work.
Flowery Language—Flowery language is writing that uses more or bigger words than needed. It is writing that often contains too many adjectives or adverbs.
Flowery: The cool, fresh breeze, which came like a storm in the night, lifted me to the exhilarating heights from which I had been previously suppressed by the incandescent cloud in the learning center.
Concise: The cool breeze was a refreshing change from the muggy classroom air.
Trite Expression—A trite expression is one that is overused and stale. As a result, it sounds neither sincere nor natural.
Trite: It gives all of us a great deal of pleasure to present to you this plaque as a token of our appreciation.
Natural: Please accept this plaque with our heartfelt thanks.
Jargon—Jargon is language used in a certain profession or by a certain group of people. It is usually very technical and not at all natural.
Jargon: I'm having conceptual difficulty with these employee mandates.
Natural: I don't understand these work rules.
Eupheism: A euphemism is a word or a phrase that is substituted for another because it is considered a less offensive way of saying something.
Eupheisism: I am so exasperated that I could expectorate.
Natural: I am so mad I could spit.
Wordiness—Wordiness occurs when extra words are used in a sentence, such as when a word, phrase, or synonym is repeatedunnecessarily.
Redundant: He had a way of keeping my attention by raising and lowering his voice all the time throughout his whole speech.
Concise: He kept my attention by raising and lowering his voice when he spoke.
Double Subjects: Some people they don't use their voices as well as they could.
Drop they; people is the only subject needed.
Concise: Some people don't use their voices as well as they could.
Tautology—repeat again, descend down, audible to the ear, refer back, unite together. Each word group says the same thing twice.
Cliché—A cliche is an overused word or phrase that springs quickly to mind but just as quickly bores the user and the audience. A cliche gives the reader nothing new or original to think about.
Cliché: Her face was as red as a beet.
Natural: Her face turned a deep shade of red.
General Clichés To Avoid Unless You have a Further Point To Prove Try Your Best Not To Consistently reuse them.
1. after all is said and done
2. food for thought
3. beat around the bush
4. grin and bear it
5. believe it or not
6. in a nutshell
7. best foot forward
8. in one ear and out the other
9. better late than never
10. in the nick of time
11. calm before the storm
12. last but not least
13. cart before the horse
14. lesser of two evils
15. chalk up a victory
16. more than meets the eye
17. come through with flying colors
18. no time like the present
19. crying shame
20. put your foot in your mouth
21. don't rock the boat
22. quiet enough to hear a pin drop
23. drop in the bucket
24. raining cats and dogs
25. easier said than done
26. see eye to eye
27. face the music
28. shot in the arm
29. fish out of water
30. sink or swim
31. flat as a pancake
32. so far, so good
"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right parts of the country." —Robert Frost.
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