We can't be friends

We can't be friends - Ariana Grande

I rubbed my temple as I poured milk into my cereal. I didn't initially think I had drunken much, but todays hangover said otherwise. I heard footsteps behind me, and I glanced at the person walking into the kitchen. Hector walked in, hair all ruffled and eyes tired as they reached mine. His smile turned upwards, but only slightly as if to keep composure. 

"Hi." 

"Hi." I replied, turning back to my cereal. I glanced at his hand as he went to grab a bowl. It was slightly swollen, but in good condition overall. 

"So uh... You also hungover?" He asked, pouring milk into the bowl before adding cereal. 

"I think I might still be drunk actually, because there's no way I just saw you pour in milk into the bowl before the cereal?" I couldn't help but scoff. 

"Hey! That's how you're supposed to do it. What if you put too much cereal and end up only having a little milk in the carton?" 

"That's not how it works!"

"Well you don't exactly have a argument against my fact, so I win." He said, leaning against the counter. 

"Thank you again." 

"Well, um... I guess that's what friends are for." He mumbled. Friends, were we friends? 

"Friends huh?" 

"Well, I have known you for most of my life." 

"I thought you hated me." I laughed, but my heart knew it wasn't really a joke, not really. I didn't think he liked me at all. 

"Eh, you have your moments. But I guess I also have mine at times. You're tolerable." He jokingly rolled his eyes, and I smiled. 

"Friends it is." 

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The following days training was joined with non other than Maria, who had clearly become much closer to Marc after the party and all. Whilst I filled water bottles for before the guys's training, Maria stood close by talking away about her love life. 

"And then at the party he asked me on a date! But I wanted to play it a little cool so I told him I'd only go if he scored a goal for me today." She said sheepishly, a blush coating her cheeks. I smiled; I was happy for them, I really was. I couldn't imagine a better or kinder person for the other, they suit each other perfectly. 

"That's great, about time you guys move on from the years long stolen glances and stuff." I said, grabbing my duffel bag tight before turning to walk with Maria to the field through the stadium building. 

"But I might've heard something happened between you and Hector as well? Maybe there will be two new couples, huh?" She lightly pushed me with her shoulder but I rolled my eyes. 

"Nothings happening. We're only friends. Besides, I don't like him like that and he most definitely doesn't like me like that." I said as we reached the grass pitch, and we saw something shocking. 

A tall gorgeous blond was stood talking to the boys in the middle of the field, but she paid particular attention to Hector as her hand found his bicep. He didn't brush it off, and he didn't seem to give her any mean comments like he did me. Sure, he didn't necessarily seem to be infatuated with her but he wasn't pushing her away either. He didn't hate her. 

They were laughing, they seemed to actually get along. I didn't know why, but my chest ached. Why did I suddenly want to puke? 

"Oh, I guess you were right. Looks like they've got the hots for each other." She joked, and I forced out the most realistic laugh I could possibly muster. Thankfully she didn't notice my hesitant behavior, because her eyes focused on Marc, who ran towards her. I left them, and went back to doing my job. I tried to keep my eyes off of the girl and Hector, but it was difficult as she was practically throwing herself onto him. 

I couldn't help but feel a sting of pain, and I hated myself for getting my hopes up about him possibly warming up to me. I guess it really wasn't anything at all. 

-------------------

The training session ended and I began packing up the stuff. With a lot more aggression than needed, I pushed the water bottles frantically into my duffel bag. I couldn't help but be annoyed today, after seeing Hector with that girl... I heard a laugh from behind me. 

"You sure you don't need more force to get those bottles into that bag?" Hector joked from behind me, and I kept my eyes on the task ahead of me. 

"I'm good..." I said, ignoring his painfully obvious gaze. I could tell he was trying to read me, the silence alone exposed that fact. 

"Are you though?" 

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I put my bags strap over my shoulder, furrowing my brows. He looked confused. 

"Why are you acting like this?" 

"Like what? "

"Like- like before? I thought we agreed that we're frien-" 

"We, be friends? Hector we can't be friends, we couldn't possibly ever be friends. What a joke." I said, turning my back to him to hide the tears that we're building up in my eyes. I kept my eyes focused on the cooler box in front of my, as I changed the wheel settings. I could hear his breathing behind me, and I couldn't read his energy. Before I knew it, I heard him walking away, leaving without saying goodbye. He roughly grabbed his bag, and I could tell a new tension had built between us. 

How could I have been so stupid to think that we could be more? All I want to tell him is that we can't just be friends, because I can't bear the thought of not being more that friends. I can't handle being so close yet so far. I can't be friends with him whilst he tells me about the gorgeous blond he's meet. 

So I need to stop being friends with him, because we simply can't be friends. It's whats best, it's for the better. Rather to not have loved than to have loved in my case....