A Knight in Shining Palmer

The Reunion

Jimmy

I honestly can't believe I'm going to see Jess again today. I wonder how she's been. I do hope that we can be friends and I think I've forgiven her for leaving, but it still stings a bit.

We all decided it would be better if we met for dinner so we arranged to meet at this charming little Italian restaurant. We agreed to be there at 7 but Kasie and I arrived a little early around 6:45, so we went ahead and got a table.

"So are you nervous about seeing Jess again? It has been a while," Kasie inquired.

"Not especially, but I do hope that it isn't awkward between us given how we left things the last time we saw each other," I replied.

I have regretted how Jess and I left things since the moment she left. I knew she needed more from her career but I'd hoped she would put me first, which I now know was pretty selfish of me. She wanted us to do a long-distance relationship, but I wouldn't hear her out, I was furious with her and I couldn't let my love for her prevent me from doing what I thought I needed.

"Jimmy, hey are you still with me?" Kasie said, interrupting my self-destructive stroll down memory lane.

"Oh, yeah, I was just thinking about..." I started but then I saw her, walking in wearing a beautiful black dress that rested just above her knees and blood-red heels that drew attention to her phenomenal legs.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm a bit late I got caught up at work," Jess explained, but I was too enamored by her to understand.

I forgot how she used to stop me in my tracks. I can't stop staring at her, she looks good, a bit tanner, and even more sexy than I could've imagined. I know I should stop staring but I can't take my eyes off of her.

Jess

Oh my God, Jimmy won't stop staring at me. I can't tell if he's mad or I don't know hurt. I can't read him like I used to and that kind of pains me. I wish I knew what he was thinking, but I'm standing here absolutely clueless.

"Jimmy, are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm all good. Sorry, I just was a bit caught off guard, I mean you look nice." Jimmy replied.

"Thank you, that's what a bit of sun and a lot of exercise does. When I'm not at work I'm usually at the beach surfing, it's become my way of decompressing after a long day." I returned.

What does he mean by I look nice? Is he trying to be cordial or does he still have feelings? I'd forgotten how seen he always made me feel. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for hurting him. I would like nothing more than for us to go back to what we used to be. I still love him and that hasn't changed but I can't be sure if he still feels the same.

"Jess, how have you been? How do you like California? Do you love your new job? How many friends do you have? Have you met any guys?" Kasie questioned.

"Okay wow. That was a lot of questions. To start, I've been better, but I guess I'm fine. I love California, but I don't know how well I fit in. Love is a strong word for how I feel about my job, but I think I'm making a difference. Honestly, I don't really have any friends, at least none outside of work. Lastly, I have met no guys and I'm not looking for anyone either." I explained.

"Aw Jess, that sounds so lonely, why haven't you said anything?" Kasie inquired.

"I didn't say anything because I thought it was just the change of scenery but it hasn't gotten any better. Alright, I'll be honest with you, I didn't want to tell anyone because I think that I deserve the misery I'm experiencing. You can't argue the fact that I imploded my life, but I don't want you guys to feel sorry for me because this is the consequence of my own actions." I told them.

Jimmy responded by saying, "So let me make sure I have this correct. You didn't tell anyone how miserable you are here because you think you deserve it for imploding your own life. Jess, that's horrible. I didn't know you felt so guilty for leaving and I for one would've been the first to tell you that leaving was a good thing for you. If I had known you were feeling this way I would've reminded you why you chose to leave and I would've told you that despite missing you all of us wanted you to follow your dreams."

I had no idea that's how he felt. I hadn't talked to him since we said goodbye at the airport. I'm surprised by the fact that he still cares about me this much, but I also know there's only a minuscule chance that we could go back to how it was before. Even if we could go back I don't think I could forgive myself for what I did to him.

Jimmy

I can't believe Jess feels so guilty about taking the job, but I think she feels more guilty about leaving me. I was quite hurt for a while, but I've forgiven her because in a way I'm proud of her. I wish I was brave enough to move to a whole new city to follow my dreams, but I'm pretty terrified of change. I hope she doesn't think I'm still angry with her because that's so far from the truth.

Jess wanted us to do long-distance but I refused to hear her out, that's been one of the biggest regrets of my life. I highly doubt that she wants anything to do with me anymore after how I treated her after she accepted the job offer. I basically threw her aside like garbage, like I didn't even care about her, but that's far from the truth, I loved her more than I could comprehend. I think I let her think that I didn't love her because I couldn't stand the thought of her being so far from me.

For the rest of the evening, I sat there listening intently to every word that came from Jess's mouth. I watched as she told Kasie every detail of the past few months. I was shocked by how much I still loved her, just seeing her confirmed my feelings for her and my desire to be with her. I guess it's true that you have to lose something to truly understand how much it means to you. I'll be damned if Jessica Knight is the one who got away. I need to find a way to talk to her alone, but that can't happen tonight so I'll have to think of something else. I have to know how she feels because I can't lose her again.

Jess

I sat there occasionally glancing over at Jimmy, who for whatever reason sat there quietly for most of the night. I wonder what he was thinking about. I told Kasie every detail from my time here, but I couldn't help but notice how handsome Jimmy was looking. I could have stared at him for hours without saying a word just admiring everything about him. Honestly, I didn't want the night to end because I knew it was likely that I wouldn't see him for a long time.

As we all said our goodbyes I could hardly control the desire to hug Jimmy, but I resisted and settled on an awkward handshake instead. There was a part of me that was hoping he would say something but he didn't, instead he just led Kasie to their car and drove away.

Later that night, I was sitting on the couch in my lonely apartment when I received a text.

JIMMY: Hey Jess, I know this is probably unexpected, but I wanted to tell you that I had a great time tonight and I really liked seeing you again. Truthfully, I wanted to text you and ask if you wanted to get together again, just the two of us. I would really like to talk to you and explain some things, but I would completely understand if you have no desire to see me again.

When I finished reading the text my heart was practically beating out of my chest. I don't know what he wants to talk about but there's a part of me that is convinced that he wants what I want. I forgot how much he made me feel like a teenager again, I've not had this many butterflies in my stomach in a long time.

JESS: Jimmy, I would love to see you again and I agree we have some things to talk about. Let me know when and where and I'll be there.