Take Me As I Am

II

Draco stares at Harry like the boy has just punched him.

"You want me to what?!"

Harry rolls his eyes. "Are you deaf, Malfoy?" He slows down. "I. Need. You. To. Kill. Me."

"I heard that, you dick," Draco snaps. "But why?"

"Are you fucking thick?" Harry groans. "How many times must I repeat myself? Let me break it down for your dumb blonde brain." He clears his throat. "Me alive, Voldemort immortal. Me dead, Voldemort kill-able. Got it?"

"I'm not an imbecile, Potter," Draco sneers. He understands perfectly well the reasoning behind Harry's change of mind, but the thought of killing someone doesn't sit well with him.

"Can't you do it?" Draco asks quietly.

Harry snorts. "Does it look like I have access to a wand? Or a knife?"

Draco's heart hammers. "I can lend you mine. I can't get a knife, but my wand—"

Harry slaps his own forehead. "I'm so stupid. Why didn't I think of that?"

Draco slowly pulls out his wand, cold and slender. Harry's eyes are transfixed on it as he wraps his fingers around the wand.

"It's been so long," he whispers. "How long?"

"Nearly two months," Draco clears his throat.

Harry's face contorts into a deep frown. "Two... months?"

"I was only informed of your survival a month ago," Draco clarifies. "The Dark Lord didn't allow any visitors for the first month."

Harry's face is tired and worn, stubble lining his jaw. His hair has grown out to an unruly length, and it hasn't been brushed since before the battle. His jaw sets and he shifts uncomfortably.

"I'm gonna do it," Harry mutters. He takes Draco's wand and points it towards his chest.

Draco freezes. "Okay," he says, breathless. 

For a moment, neither of them move a muscle as Harry concentrates.

"So... the killing curse then?" Draco winces.

Harry nods stiffly. "It'll be quick."

Harry takes a deep breath as Draco squeezes his eyes shut in the hopes that his nerves will calm this way.

They don't.

Then the words he's dreading resound: "Avada Kedavra!"

Draco inhales sharply as there's silence. He dreads the sight he'll face when he opens his eyes, but is spared the suspense as a voice interrupts his thoughts.

"Fuck this!" Harry shouts, making Draco startle.

Draco's eyes snap open to see silent tears running down Harry's cheeks. He's staring down at the wand as if it murdered his family.

"What happened?" Draco questioned. "The spell..."

"A little tiny fucking green spark," Harry fumes. "That's it."

Draco looks up at Harry, realizing something. "The killing curse is fueled by desire and hate."

Harry scowls. "I desire to die and I hate living in this fucking body. Is that not enough?!"

Draco swallows. "I don't think this is going to—"

Harry thrusts the wand in Draco's lap. "Your turn, Malfoy. Isn't this what you've always wanted?"

"No!" Draco splutters. "I mean...no. But I understand why you're asking."

Harry places the wand in the palm of Draco's hand and guides his fingers to wrap around it. His hands are shaking and twitching, and Draco clasps his hand in Harry's to try and steady them. Harry squeezes his hand back.