The Fallen Short Stories

Ima (Avalon's POV)

This turned out waaaaaaaay longer than intended but I hope y'all don't mind. Thanks for reading :)

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"Ima!" Carri cries tugging on the back of my shirt to get my attention. "Yes ma'am." "When is 'addy gon' be 'ome?" "A little bit later baby he has to stop and get your bananas after work." "My 'nannas?" I nod. I feel Waverly bump into me on her still-unsteady legs. I run my hand over her head, smoothing silky raven hair down. "'Unch? 'unch Ima?" "Yes, Wavey lunch is almost finished," I tell her flipping the sandwich over in the pan. "Can I set da table Ima?" I take two plastic plates out from the upper cabinets and hand them to her. "Thank you, Carri." She toddles away laughing and Waverly helplessly pats my thigh crying, "Ups Ima, ups!" I lift her up on my hip, twisting the burner off. I nuzzle into her neck and shower kisses over her little rosy cheeks until she laughs. I cut the grilled cheese in two with the spatula. I hear the clattering of something falling behind me and whip around looking for Carrington. "I dropped it, Ima." "I see that." I lift Waverly into her highchair and grab the plates from the floor.  "I help Ima?" "No, I've got it, thank you baby." "I help!" I should scold her for the tone, but all I can do is laugh at the scrunched-up frustration on her little face. "Okay, okay calm down." I chop up the cooled sandwich into safe strips and divide it on the plates, dipping out applesauce and plonking a spoon down in the puree. "Here Carri, careful hands." "Yes Ima." I watch her give the plate as much concentration as a three-year-old can possibly muster. She carefully sets her plate on the lip of the table and pushes it so that it's out of danger of falling. I watch as she tries to climb into her chair, just as I am about to stop her, as the chair tips over with her weight, frustration mars her face, and she jumps back down to the floor.
Ezra has stacked a few heavy books for her to sit on so that she can see over the table, but this also means that she can no longer seat herself. She crosses her arms in front of her little body and drops down onto the floor. "Carrington," I say in my most stern tone of voice. "Stand up please." She pokes her bottom lip out; behind us Waverly starts to whine for food. "Carrington. Stand. Up." When she doesn't, I lift her up, going limp in my arms. Tears fall down her cheeks and suddenly the annoyance I once felt melts away. I hold her close to me and let her lay her head on my shoulder. Waverly is falling into a similar fit, but I swallow back the anxiety. I put my hand over Waverly's head. "Close your eyes girls." I pray over the food and give Waverly her plate. Brushing away the tears from her cheeks I look directly into Carri's eyes. She's sucking on her fingers; we've tried to curb the habit but with little success.
"Are you ready to eat now?" She nods. I set her on her chair and pull her plate in front of her. "What do you say?" She just looks at me and scowls. "Carri? What do we say?" "Thank you, Ima." "You're welcome." I kiss the top of her head and move to grab my sandwich off the stove.
I sit next to Waverly at the end of the table, picking at my food more than eating. It's hard not to think of my mother in moments like these. How I handled my daughter just now, what she might have done, the thought makes me cringe. She'd have snatched me from the floor, at minimum it would have been her screaming at me and sending me to my room without lunch, but more likely I'd have walked away with a new bruise on my face.
I look at her, practically falling asleep sitting up. My fierce, independent girl. She was just tired, all she needed was a nap, not a slap, maybe that's all I had needed too. I can't imagine it-- laying hands on either of my babies.
I shake the thought from my head, grabbing a washcloth I clean her face and hands, before moving on to Waverly, who now slumbers in her applesauce. I take her to her crib and return for Carri. When I lift her up her body molds around mine, and I just enjoy the cuddles. I walk her back into the bedroom and lay her on the fluffy pink pillows. Her eyes spring open and she reaches for me. "Ima," she whines. "Shh baby, don't wake your sister." I kneel at her bedside and smooth down her curls. "Lay with me." "No baby, I have to wash the dishes." Her face contorts and I just know she will cry again. "Pleeeeeease." "Okay, okay just for a minute, until you fall asleep." I curl up next to her, laying her head on the crook of my shoulder, she rolls on her belly and wraps her arm around my middle. I lean down to kiss her head. "I love you, Ima." "I love you baby, more than there are stars in the sky." I lay there listening to them breath and stroking her hair. I don't let myself think of anything. Not the bad memories, not the disappointed look on Ezra's face when the test was negative last month, not even the crappy weather keeping us cooped up inside all day, I instead let myself drift off.
When I wake up both girls are still down, and Carri's foot is in my face. I can't help but to laugh, I stand and toss a blanket over her, peeping at Waverly briefly before going back into the kitchen. I sweep and wash up in record time. It's a little after 1. Ezra worked the night shift and got off at noon he should be back anytime now. My hands seem to act of their own accord and begin to tremble. I wish he was here right now to reassure me.
I'd never been regular so there was no point in tracking my cycles. I just had symptoms and luck to go off of. It was so easy to conceive Waverly and we hadn't even been trying and now here we are nearly a year into trying and still no baby.
It hadn't been a total lie; we did need bananas among other groceries. I just hadn't told my toddler that her father would be late because we'd run out of tests.
Ezra was more hopeful than I was about the whole situation. I was convinced something was wrong with me but a quick trip to my sister-in-law had assured me that I was physically sound.
I'm just putting the last dish away when I hear fussing. I peeked my head inside the room and find Waverly standing up in the crib, crying so hard her face is red and Carri sitting up looking grumpy. "Oh no, did you wake sissy up?" "Sissy loud." I lift Waverly out of her crib. "What's wrong my sweet girl?" "Baba!" "Are you hungry? Oh, I know I know." I get settled in the rocker next to her crib and undo the first few buttons on my shirt. Once she's latched, I realize the crying hasn't stopped and Carri toddles over motioning to be picked up. Carefully to not interrupt her feed, I lean down and scoop her up blanket cape and all. Carri buries her face in my neck. She wasn't quite over the jealousy that her new sibling had brought out in her. Times like these when she was overtired, she was sure to show it.
I held the whole world in my arms. I didn't care if they were cranky or fussy or whiny they were mine. I rub circles on Carri's back trying to lull her back to sleep. She hardly naps these days so I'm lucky she went down at all, but a few more minutes would definitely do her some good.
I push her hair away from her face to see if she's still awake and I find her chocolate chip eyes staring back at me. She runs her hand over my face, stopping on my bottom lip I kiss her hand until she giggles. "Ima loves you." "Carri loves Ima." I kiss her forehead and pull her closer.
I'm surprised when she sits through the entire feeding, normally she gets bored after a few minutes and goes about her business but today she just laid on my chest pretending not to be exhausted.
By the time Waverly was finished she was wide awake, and antsy to get down. I let them both out of my lap and set to buttoning my shirt when I hear the lock twist. "'Addy!" Carri squeals running to meet him. I can just barely make out the shape of his body under the rain-slicker before he engulfs her in a huge bear hug.
Waverly follows her sister but can't make it far going that speed yet and proceeds to trip and fall on the edge of area rug in the living room. Ezra is closer to her by this point and seamlessly gathers her blubbering form off the ground. "Oh my, my," Ezra whispers softly into her hair. "Shh, shh, shh Daddy's got you." I finally reach them and rub her back. "Welcome home," I say playing. "Hi my love." He reaches for me in between the girls and presses me into a warm hug, before dropping a soft kiss to my lips. He sets the girls back on the floor and moves back to the door for the grocery bags. "I've got that," I say, "you must be exhausted. Go wash up and have a nap." He cocks his head at me, "Mickey." "You heard me, at least go dry off, you'll catch a cold." He smiles, shaking his head and dips into our bedroom. Waverly toddles to the door and slams her little fists against the wood. "Dada!" "He'll be back Peanut," this does little to stop her whining, so I go for the distraction tactic. "Here," I say holding out a box of butter, "help Ima and carry this for me. You too Carrington."
I let Carri struggle bringing an entire bag into the kitchen, eventually she does make it by dragging it across the house. Together the three of us unload the groceries and I stealthily manage to hide the bag of pregnancy tests leaving them on the counter to put away later. Though they probably wouldn't immediately know what they were the girls would definitely ask and I wasn't really in the mood to deal with all of the innocent little questions that surely would follow.
I leave out a pack of chicken breasts to cook for supper and get the girls set up with some shoe-tying boards that Marnie had given them. Carri nearly had it while Waverly just enjoyed playing with the knots Carri made for her.
Once I have them occupied the bag and I slip into the bedroom. Ezra is just pulling his boxers up his hips when I cross the threshold. He smirks at me holding the plastic bag before hiding his face in his towel as he dries his hair. I drop the bag on the dresser and ran my hands over his chest, relishing in the feel of his bare skin. He lets out a low groan, hangs the towel off his neck, and pulls me in by my hip. I bring him in by the towel and give him a long kiss on the lips. "Ima!" "Yes Peanut?" I turn around finding Waverly pushing open the cracked door. "I bissed 'ou." I lift her up and into my arms as Ezra plants a kiss on her cheek. "How can you be mad at that?" I watch him slip into some lounge clothes before walking into the living room with the baby. I soon feel his hand on my back, and we sit down together on the couch. Waverly crawls into her father's lap and starts playing with his glasses, then Carri makes her presences known by pulling herself onto the couch next to him. "Daddy read to me." "Read to you?" I take the book from her, "Daddy's tired baby, I'll read it to you." "No 'addy!" Ezra plays with one of her curls, "No need to shout Carri." "Please Daddy." We exchange a glance and I give him with book. I kiss his temple, snuggle down and listen.
The way he reads to our girls is enough to make me fall in love all over again. Making them laugh, putting on voices, it's no wonder why they liked this so much. Eventually I leave to start dinner and when I come back Carri is asleep on Ezra's chest, and he is snoring softly. Waverly is sitting on the rug chewing on the cover of the book he'd read to them.
I rouse them for supper. Ezra eats like he's never known food; Waverly's ends up mostly on the floor and Carrington insists she isn't hungry. I leave Ezra with the kitchen and dishes to give the girls a bath and we meet back up in their room. I quickly pass him one towel-hooded child for him to diaper and dress while I do the other. Once everyone is dressed, I sit down to nurse again and Ezra takes to combing Carri's hair. This is a battle every day. Neither of us have any body whatsoever in our hair, so we're not inherently used to dealing with curls, and Carri's are particularly difficult to manage. She will only allow Ezra to come near her with a brush, I don't blame her, he was definitely the more patient and the gentler of the two of us.
Waverly falls asleep with my nipple still in her mouth, I hold her against me until Ezra has Carri tucked in and I get up. I bring her to Ezra, and he kisses her forehead before I lay her back in her crib. "I'm not tired," Carri mumbles eyes half closed. "I know baby just rest for a while," he says softly. Too tired to argue anymore she nods, and we flip off the lights.
Ezra wraps his arm around me as I lead him to our bed. "I'm exhausted," he says his voice muffled by a pillow. I kiss the back of his head, "I going to hop in the shower, okay?" "Okay. Hey, put those in the cabinet please." He nods to the plastic bag from earlier. I take the bag and close the door behind me. It looks like he cleared them out, there must be ten tests. I take one box from the bag, tear it open and take the damned white stick out of the wrapper.
When I'm finished, I leave it on the sink, stripping off my clothes and jump into the shower. I wash as quickly as humanly possible, the weight of the day hitting me full-force and suddenly I am tired too. I wrap a towel around myself and go back to the sink to brush my teeth. Brush in mouth, I give the test a half-hearted glance. Two lines.
I go back to brushing, trying to figure out how I will tell him no yet again. I look again and I think my heart stops. Pregnant. I tear through the cupboards and rip open the other nine boxes. I sit on the toilet again but having just emptied my bladder I start chugging water straight from the tap. I brush my hair while I wait, and dress from the waist up.
I manage to stall long enough that I can take the rest of the tests, and then I wait again. Moving in slow motion as I plait my hair and apply lotions, doing anything to make the time go by faster. When I dare to, I look at the tests again. All of them are positive.
I dart out into our room; grateful Ezra is still up. He has the bedside lamp on reading something, but his eyes meet mine when I rush out of the bathroom. "Have a nice bath Mick?" "It's positive." "What is?" "Ezra!" "What?" Tears prick my eyes, and suddenly he is on his knees inching to me on the bed. "Really?" I nod frantically, crying in earnest honest now. "I'm pregnant." He wraps me in his arms, his feet hit the floor. He's spinning me and we are laughing and crying. Ezra breaks away first kissing me hard on the lips. I'm laughing so hard, that I almost don't notice the sound of crying coming from across the house. "The baby is crying," I say almost questioning it. "I'll get her Mickey." I stop him, kissing him softly once again. "I love you." "I love you too Ima."