Otōsan and Papa

Hanzo’s hands were steady holding the paint brush the same way they were steady holding the bow. Strong. Every inch moved was moved with precision and out of necessity. Even the archer’s gaze was so focused on the wall that you would think he was getting ready to shoot an opponent on the battlefield and not paint it a lovely color of purple.
“You’re stressing.”
Jesse’s voice rang out, causing the samurai to turn his head in surprise. Very few could get the drop on him, years of being on the run from assassins would get anyone’s guard up. Perhaps he had been a little too zoned in on his painting.
Hanzo rolled his eyes, taking them off of his husband who was still leaning in the doorway with his arms crossed, and went back to his painting. He dipped his brush into the paint scraping off the access and then scooted a little closer to the wall where he was working.
“I am not.” The dragon told him as if that would ease Jesse’s concerns.
He heard the cowboy’s footsteps and wasn’t too concerned with them as they came right behind him. Maybe he had come to assist him.
“Darling, it is three a.m.” Jesse sat down behind him, pulling his lover in a hug from behind. “You are painting the bottom half of a wall we have already painted while waiting for water to boil so you can have some jasmine tea. Again, at THREE a.m..” He kissed the other behind the ear, before resting in the crook of Hanzo’s neck. “You are stressing.”
Hanzo frowned at the paint that fell from his brush and onto the floor. “Jesse-”
His scolding was cut off by the brunette turning him towards him so they could kiss.
“What’s going on in that pretty lil head of your’s?”
Hanzo froze for a moment before setting his paintbrush down and leaning into his husband’s chest with a deep heavy sigh.
“Two days.” The archer told him.
“I know, love.” Jesse ran his fingers in his husband’s hair, taking out the hair pin that kept it in up in a bun. “We’re getting them in two days.”
The dragon was quiet for a moment and Jesse kissed his head.
“I’m still listening, honeydew.”
Hanzo knew he wasn’t going to get out of telling his husband what was eating him and perhaps it shouldn’t be left unsaid.
“What if it's a mistake?”
“What?” The cowboy frowned. “You don’t want to have kids with me?”
“No, not like that.” The dragon looked up a little horrified at what he had accidentally implied. “I am so excited to pick up the twins and raise them with you. It's that-I think that-…”
He took a deep breath in through the nose rubbing his temple.
Jesse reached up and grabbed his hand, taking it and rubbed his thumb gently over the other’s hand. “Take your time. Help me understand.”
“I am not…I do not feel like a good person.” He changed his words carefully. Jesse had been making him work on not degrading himself. “What makes us think I would be a good parent?”
“Sunflower…” The cowboy’s voice was dripped in sympathy, something his husband was really good at, Hanzo had noticed. “You’re going to do amazing. I just know it.”
The brunette’s hands went up and cupped the archer’s face gently making him look at him.
“You’re patient and have a big heart when you get down into things. You’re going to do great. The girls are going to love you. The lady we met said they’re so excited to meet us.”
“But-”
Jesse shook his head. “No buts. Your anxiety is getting to your head, darling. Put up the painting stuff. Let’s go have some tea. The girls’ room looks fine.”
Hanzo nodded slightly, cleaning up his mess.
The dragon almost regretted letting his husband get to know him so well when after a couple moments drinking their tea he spoke up again.
“You’re still stressing.”
“I am no-”
One look and the archer stopped his denial, looking down at his untouched tea.
“Perhaps.”
“Still about the girls? Your parenting?” Jesse asked, putting a hand on the other’s.
“No. Well, slightly. I do not think those fears will ever go away completely.” Hanzo explained, running a hand through his hair that was still down thanks to his lover not giving his hair pin back. He was never sure why Jesse loved seeing him with his hair down so much. “About the mission tomorrow. It is all too likely that we will run into conflict with Talon agents while protecting the payload.”
“Pretty normal for the job. Why’s that troubling ya now?” Jesse asked.
It always troubled him. The thought of Jesse getting hurt was one that the ex-assassin could barely stand. He could not take another loss of someone important to him, especially one as important as Jesse.
“Because it is not just us depending on each other now, Jesse.” Hanzo told him. “We have two other people to look after and if something happens to us they cannot look after themselves. If something were to happen to you or me-”
“Sunshine, listen.” Hanzo looked up to the love of his life, his caramel eyes holding a tenderness that seemed to come out at the right moments. Just when he needed it to. “Nothing is going to happen to you out there. I mean, I reckon that the likelihood of both of us-”
There was very few times Jesse said something wrong trying to comfort the dragon. He had always been a charmer and knew how to read his lover like he was reading the menu at his favorite diner.
This, however, was one of those times.
“I cannot do this without you.”
The words came out rushed. Scolding almost. Maybe even a dare. A warning to Jesse that if he even thought about getting mortally wounded on the battlefield he would have hell to pay from his truly.
“That’s not what I meant.” Jesse shook his head. “I just meant that nothing is going to happen. To you or to me. And especially not to both of us.”
That didn’t do much to calm Hanzo down, the thought of Jesse getting hurt too far ingrained into his head now.
“Come on. You’ll feel better in the morning and after the mission.” The cowboy told him, setting his cup on the table. He didn’t bother to clean up the mess, a habit Hanzo hated but he didn’t fight it tonight, deciding that sleep was indeed more important. He could always stick close to Jesse in the battle and keep him safe.
The brunette pulled him to bed and held him close and just as Hanzo closed his eyes his lover spoke up again.
“Hey, Hanzo…”
“Yes?”
“I can’t do this without you either.”
Hanzo paused then smiled, looking up and kissing Jesse softly. He took a deep breath staring up at the man he married.
There was a moment of silence. Jesse might have fallen asleep but a question appeared in Hanzo’s mind and it started to burn in his brain.
“Do you think the girls would call me otōsan?”
Jesse laughed.