𝒑𝒂𝒑𝒆𝒓 𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 · 𝒋𝒘 𝒙 𝒋𝒈 ✓

⊹ ࣪ ˖ 𝐭𝐰𝐨

it's late, but it's not exactly late. if you consider nine o'clock late, then i guess it's technically late. but it's not like we had anywhere important to be.

johnnie wants to drink, and i like him, so i'm scared to drink because of it. i know drunk me will say something weird. or something stupid. i could possibly be overthinking. or maybe it's not that i'm afraid of what i'll say, but more of what he'll think of me. but then again, maybe I'm overthinking it. maybe it'll be fine.

he runs out of the kitchen with a bunch of drinks, and I just look at him like he's crazy, as if i never agreed to this.

he smiles at me, that crooked grin that i love so much. "come on, jake. live a little. it'll be fun!" he says as he pours me a drink. i take a sip, just to appease him, and it burns its way down my throat. i choke and cough, and he starts laughing at me.

"oh come on, you can handle it." he says, still laughing. i take another sip, a little slower this time, and manage to keep it down. the warmth spreads through me, making me feel just a little bit more relaxed. maybe this won't be so bad after all.

"i have my guitar down here" johnnie says, already halfway across the room. he's always had this restless energy about him. i don't know how he manages to sit still for long enough to watch a movie. he strums a few chords, and then suddenly bursts into song.

he's playing ecstasy. our song.

it's not the first time he's played it for me, but it never gets any less intense. the way he sings, like it's just for me, like he's pouring his heart out to me, makes my chest ache. "jake sing your part!"

i hesitate for a moment, feeling a mixture of nervousness and anticipation. i clear my throat and try to match his guitar, "uh, and ive been dying for, your body in my arms."

as i sing, i glance over at him, watching his fingers dance across the strings. he looks up at me, and for a second, our eyes lock. there's something in his gaze that makes my heart skip a beat. it's like he's saying everything he's ever felt for me, and it takes my breath away.

"..cause i feel nothing"

he strums his guitar slightly harder, going in to sing his part. "your touch is ecstasy, to a heart that barely beats, my lips are turning blue, the nights with you."

i jump in again, feeling a little less nervous. "let me feel your love like a razor blade, your warm to the touch with eyes so taunting, look me in my face, chained on to the waist, its like ecstasy when i pull you on me"

i sing it, and i know he's listening. he's always listening when i sing. his eyes never leave mine, and i can see the way he's affected by my words. there's something so intimate about this moment, like we're sharing a secret language only the two of us understand.

"jake, can i sing this part?" he asks.

to be honest, i want to hear him sing the part. i love that little part where i say "i want you to," cause just imagine how johnnie would sound.

i don't even wait for him to finish. "sing it, johnnie."

"..bound by your angel wings, move to the beat i breathe, locked in your world i want you to love me.."

"i want you to."

johnnie's voice is soft, almost a whisper, but it carries across the room. there's a note of desperation in it, like he's begging me to understand. his eyes never leave mine, and it feels like he's reaching out, trying to touch me.

i can feel my heart racing, my breath coming faster. his words, his voice, it's all so intense. i want to close the distance between us, to feel his skin against mine, but i'm afraid to move. afraid that if i do, this moment will disappear.

johnnie strums a few more chords, his fingers dancing across the strings with a fluidity that's almost hypnotic. his voice is soft, barely above a whisper, but it carries through the room.

"i think that's my favourite song by us." he says, sipping his drink.

"no, i think it's my favourite too." i reply, still watching him as he plays.

the song ends, and there's a moment of silence between us. it feels like the air has been sucked out of the room, like we're both holding our breath, waiting for something to happen. i can feel the tension building between us, like we're both wanting, needing something more.

i take a sip of my drink, trying to find the words to say. "it's...it's always been my favorite too." i manage, my voice barely above a whisper. "you write the most beautiful songs, johnnie. i don't know how you do it."

he looks up at me, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. "you make me want to write them, jake."

the words hang in the air between us, heavy with meaning. it feels like we're standing on the edge of something, about to jump off into the unknown. i can feel the electricity crackling between us, my heart racing, my skin tingling.