Martina's Brother - A Marc Guiu story

Part 4

*Warnings: Use of untranslated Spanish and Catalan. Use of sexual explicit narrations and dialogue*
Author's note: this is the longest one yet . We'll have at least 2 more releases after this one.

The line was ringing. I had no idea what he was doing, or where he was, a plane, bus or hotel but I needed to talk to him. Everything was going to shit.

Martina had seen his messages on my phone and although they weren't necessarily giving us away it didn't take a genius to read in between the lines. And she was almost a genius.
"So, are you going to tell me what's going on with you two? Or are you just going keep hiding things from me like a treasonist bitch?" Martina snapped.

After a second of contemplating coming clean, I decided against it, I wasn't ready and I needed to talk to Marc before. My defense mechanisms were sharp, I had lots of male friends in high school who loved to give me shit. Not being considered "pretty enough" to be intimidating until last year of high school, I had a lot of practice at snapping back at insulting comments.
"Excuse me?" I said " What gives you the right to talk to me like that? You're being an asshole right now and frankly, I don't want to talk to you"
" You don't want to talk to me? Well, don't bother talking to me at all until you tell me the truth and apologize" she said firmly
"Apologize for what? Being called a bitch over nothing? I've never talked to you like that, Martina. You know what? I'm leaving. When you're ready to treat me like an adult, maybe we can talk. Have a good fucking day" I took my things and left.
"Whatever, leave" was the last thing she said before I left. People were looking at us, we weren't loud but the cursing and body language caught our coffee shop neighbors' attention.

I got out of there and walked blindly towards my dorm room, mind too busy repeating the conversation over and over . My heart was going at speeds of near an anxiety attack and I was short of breath. I called Marc but he didn't pick up. I opened our chat to leave him a voice message, voice with a hint of panic.
"Hey Marc. I just had a fight with Martina. She suspects something is happening between us and got angry at me. Expect to hear from her but please ignore her until we get to speak. I feel like shit. We need to talk, like, ASAP"
I got to my room, my safe space, and sat down on the sofa, my hands were shaking and I couldn't think straight. Fuck. I realized no secret is ever perfect, not even one you're planning on exposing  about yourself at a later time. I wanted to cry but I just tried to calm myself down. I laid on my couch numb, thinking how to tell him, how to be ok with myself.
The video call came 30 minutes later while I rested on my couch, music playing, Blood Orange on. I sighed, and picked up
"Hola"
I saw his handsome face on my screen, a small smile, like he is happy to see me but knows it's not appropriate to be too happy. He was sitting on his bed, I could see the headboard of his hotel bed. He's on an away game trip with the first team.
"Hey, I got your message. What's going on?"
"Well, we were at the coffee shop, Martina and me, and she saw some messages you sent me and then she started questioning me about us, she even called a treasonist bitch"
"A treasonist bitch?! Only Tina could say something like that" he shook his head
"Anyway, I told her she was being an asshole and I didn't want to talk to her and left"
"So, you didn't tell her about us?"
"No" I paused  "plus she told me not to talk to her anyway until I was ready to come clean and apologize"
"Apologize for what??!"
"Not telling her? I dunno"
"Man, fuck Martina! She needs to mind her own fucking business"
"But I am being a bad friend, she has a right to be angry at me" I reflected
"You're not a bad friend for liking someone"
"I didn't tell her. I wasn't honest. I should have told her. You are her brother. She tells me everything, Marc"
"Then tell her"
No
"I think we should take a break" I cut him off
"What?" he replied with a tone of disbelief
"Mar is my best friend, and I don't wanna lose her. I want to be able to fix things with her. I need a break, to figure this out"
"And fuck me? Because I'm just some kid" I saw he was starting to get agitated, a bit red on the cheeks a look of hurt in his eyes
"No, you're not that to me. We can keep talking and being friends, if you want"
"Are you being serious right now?"
"I'm sorry"
"Are you going to tell her what happened?"
"I don't know, just don't tell her yet. Let me"
"Well, there's nothing to tell now"
"Marc..."
"I can't fucking believe you right now, Carla"  He ran his hand through his hair, looked down and sighed, tension palpable even through the screen.
"I'm sorry," I said looking away from the screen "but I think it's better this way" I felt like trash, I was sure he deserved better than me. Someone who wasn't afraid to have a confrontation, to really fight for him. But I didn't want any drama in my life. I wanted things to be as uncomplicated as possible
"Better for you. Better for Martina. Who always wants to have a say in people's life. Not better for me! It fucking sucks that you are just...getting rid of me –"
"I'm not, I swear, we can be friends, we can talk every day if you want. I would like to"
"I really like you, Carla, don't you?"
The "like me too?" left in the air, understood without saying. He was trying to fight me on this, without fighting with me, just by showing me how he felt and what we were going to be missing: each other's company, closeness, affection and care.
"It's not about that"
I didn't want to say 'I like you so, so much, you're all I think about' just when I was telling him that we should stop seeing each other.
"I think it is. You don't like me enough to talk to my sister. Solo soy un polvo, a fuck you can actually stand the day after. She always wins. I get it. "
"Marc, that's not it. At all!"
"I'm going to hang up"
"Marc! Let me talk—"
"Bye"
I saw my own face on my phone. He hung up and that was it. I fucked up with everyone I held closest to my heart in one day. I did not cry that night even when I felt like it. I skipped dinner and went to sleep with my chest on fire and feeling like I had a big old hole in my stomach.