Fly | jaywon

1.

Seikenzo was opposed to the idea that the day after today is a brand new day. For him, every single day is just another day-a single repetitive cycle and nothing entirely new. He doesn't even know the purpose of calling it a brand new day since his days are just a cycle-a cycle of responsibilities and sacrifices.

It was just another day of battling those dark feelings bottled inside of him, another day of surviving the harsh world he's living in-which is a miracle for him to wake up, knowing that he had been tired for years and longing for peace; another day of trying to pretend that he's alright-that he's happy even though he knew he wasn't (and will never be happy); and another day to show everyone that he had everything under control when the truth is, his life was a mess (and it will continue that way..)

He felt like his life was just a routine, a never ending saga of responsibilities and sacrifices. He went through a lot during the past years, like life was testing how long he could fight. He's honestly tired but still trying to live.

He had responsibilities to do and settle. Cleaning bathrooms on Mondays and Tuesdays, serving on a fast food chain on every Wednesdays to Fridays and a call boy on Sundays and a certified drinker on Saturdays, where he usually spends his time to let his stress out and call random strangers-which is a dangerous habit of him when drunk.

Well, he would be honest that even though the family who adopted him gave him genuine love, he just can't deny the fact that, it's not enough to feed them three times a day. He can't even study because he had no time and well, money...

Seikenzo have to make his family happy, give them everything, prioritize them and most importantly, is it to give them back what they've sacrificed for him-but he had never expected that it would be tiring. Tiring to the point that he's on the very edge of holding on-that he's on the urge of giving up but who was he kidding? Of course, he can't-he can't just leave everything behind.

He sighed as he sipped on his beer, head started spinning because he had drink way too much liquor. It's his best friend's birthday, of course, he has to attend-and the main purpose is to drink. He cursed when he felt how strong the beer is and grabbed his phone, dialing random numbers even though his sight is now pretty blurry and spinning.

"hello?"

Seikenzo almost jumped in surprised, he even flinched and gasped in shock as he stared at his screen. Someone answered his call! He froze on his sit, can't even utter a single word because of his throbbing head and racing heart which is beating so fast-but why the heck is it beating so fast though?! Shit-I think I drank way too much alcohol.

He didn't know what to do, he kept on gulping and he thinks that his hangover and headache got worst after hearing its calm and soft voice. "Hello? Who's this? I'm about to sleep, do you need something?" fuck-why is his voce so soft?!

"D-don't go..." Seikenzo whispered, almost out of breath as he felt the other line went silent for a second. He didn't even know what gotten into his mind to stop the other from dropping the call, he didn't have any idea what urged him to open up to someone.

"I'm listening..."

Seikenzo actually froze after hearing what the other had said. It felt genuine that he didn't hesitated to open up to the guy on the other line. "I'm sorry, it's a bit loud here." He said, apologizing as he made his way out of the bar and sat on the corner where nobody can see him crying.

"Strangers won't judge, right?" he spoke first making the other stopped from laying down. "y-yes." the other replied, not that sure and totally confused on what's happening so he just laid down in is bed, waiting for Seikenzo to speak again.

"I'm so tired..." Seikenzo muttered, eyes getting watery as his voice broke making the other gulped and payed attention more. "I-I'm so tired of doing everything. I'm so tired of working, I'm so tired of living, so tired to clean, tired of serving, tired of seeking validations... I'm just so tired..." Seikenzo vent out, breaking down his walls, feeling safe with the other.

"Rest..."

Seikenzo chuckled, shaking his head. "I can't... I badly want to but, I can't..." he whispered, crying as he hugged himself in the dark. "I want to rest but will they allow me?"

The other line got silent, the guy from the other line began tearing up as he listened to Sei's rants. He can't even utter a single word so he just listened to him again. "I want to be happy and be free but, I know that I can't and I-I don't have the rights to- "

The latter instantly shook his head as a disagreement as if the unknown caller would see him. "n-no..."

Seikenzo stopped from talking after hearing that painful word from the guy, waiting for his next lines. "d-don't say that, you have the right to be free and happy..."

"I want to study but I can't. I have to feed my parents and work for them. I have to give them everything they deserve as a sign of gratefulness for adopting and loving me."

How can someone suffer like this? The other guy thought, still wondering who's this caller who called him late at night. His heart starts aching as he felt a tear escaped his eye when he heard the unknown caller's cries-painful cries. Such a genuine person who deserves happiness.

"I'm sorry." Seikenzo apologized making the other stunned and confused why Sei's apologizing. "I'm sorry for disturbing you. I'm sorry for calling you at this hour, I know that this is just a simple problem yet I'm disturbing you and acting this way- "

"Hush, never invalidate your feelings."

Seikenzo felt his tears streamed down from his eyes, unable to stop from crying after hearing an unexpected assurance from someone who unexpectedly became the first person who heard his cries.

"You can cry... crying won't make you less brave, rather it will help you to lessen the pain and be stronger." The guy assured him again, making Sei cried even more, hugging himself as he stared at the stars in the sky who's still shining even though they're surrounded by darkness. "don't worry, you'll get through this soon."

"t-thank you..."

"thank you for sharing your problems with me, don't worry, you can call me anytime if you need someone to talk to. " the other guy chuckled making Seikenzo chuckled too while tracing the stars but he immediately stopped after hearing what the other guy said which made his heart beats faster.

"I'm so proud of you for staying alive. You are indeed brave but if you ever feel lonely again, please be lonely with me..."