It All Started With Him

:: 5 :: You're not ready to like me

We need a happy change in this situation somewhere baby? I should've been sober. Well I do get sober, but that's much later in this relationship. So I'll get back to the first part of this paragraph.

Okay. Here goes.

****

"We should hang out more," Wes says as he lights up a cigarette. The scent lingering as it spreads across my body. His fingers trace my arms, sending shivers down my spine. "Have something besides a little hookup, baby, you know?" He asks me, the titular voice sounds sexier as he says baby.

His lips landing on my shoulder, as I pull him closer to my backside, as I hold back moans, despite us being the only two in the house and in my bedroom. This is the first time I've had sex in my bedroom and honestly I'm scared as shit. His arousal telling me what he wants done.

"I'd like that," I tell him as he continues to kiss me, my little moans giving him the satisfying look he wants. My body stops working as I feel his hands trail towards my lower chest, my body starts to throb, wanting his touch more than anything. He was mine and seemed to be only mine.

"What are you doing tomorrow night?" I ask as he takes my hand, placing it over his harness, my hands knowingly going up and down, working their magic to make him help with his metaphorical release . His moans get louder as I switch to using my tongue to wrap around his hardened cock.

Without any hesitation he rolls me over, his lips all over my body. The remaining cigarette smell lingering on his breath, giving me a twinge of zest. "I'm not sure," he whispered in my ear as he slid into me. First gently, making sure I'm okay with it. Then he speeds up, making me moan louder than usual, the sensation that I never had during our hookups at the cemetery. I wanted more of this, more of him as our mouths collide with each other, his tongue reaching for access, as I gave him access.

We're so close to the climatic ectopic predatory when my phone pings, breaking the moment between us. "Why is it always the phone?" I ask more to myself than Wes, who remains laid down beside me, looking as though he'd never leave his position.

"Ignore it," he says as he moves his fingers in a walking motion on my stomach, making a small smile creep up on my face, before we land another kiss onto each other, the sexual tension between us kicking back into place.

The effort to ignore it disperses as another ping happens, knowing now that our imitate moment has been broken, despite neither one of us wanting to admit it. "I'm sorry," I mumble as I pick up the phone, only to toss it back down on my bed.

"I'm just going to go," Wes tells me as he grabs my hand, and kisses me on the cheek before getting up to slide his jeans on. My insides are screaming for him to stay.

"Stay here with me?" I asked, trying not to sound too nervous and desperate. I didn't want him to think that I was being too desperate, leaving him no choice but to say yes. Deep down I knew he'd say no. I was just waiting for it.

"I can't. I'm not sober enough to stay with you," he says with an expression that seems more like an excuse than an explanation as he finishes getting dressed, then lighting up another cigarette. "I'll see you tomorrow morning," he adds before landing another kiss on my lips, our tongues moving in rhythm before we break apart.

This is where and when I realized I was catching feelings, and it was tearing everything apart. He was brokenhearted, damaged and mentally drained but most importantly would never love me back in the same way.

****

"You had sex last night," Annie announced proudly as she took one look at my face. How she could tell by the way I had done my makeup is beyond me. Maybe it was a feminine thing. I wasn't sure, and I knew I was smart enough to not ask. "Who was it?" She asked before my answer could muster itself from my breath. Now could be a great time to tell her, but incessantly I don't. She may be my friend, but I don't think I need to share my sexual experience with her.