𝚄𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚌𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝙾𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 - 𝓑𝓾𝓬𝓴𝔂 𝓑𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓮𝓼 [1]

11. {Sympathy Points}

The day drags on with the usual monotony of administrative work, your fingers dancing over the keyboard as you type up yet another mission report. Your mind, however, is elsewhere. The conversation with Steve lingers, intertwining with your growing restlessness about being stuck in a desk job. You crave the adrenaline and unpredictability of fieldwork, longing for the day your suspension is lifted.

As the clock inches closer to the end of the workday, you start packing up your things, your movements automatic. The thought of heading home to your apartment, with its silence and solitude, feels particularly unappealing today. Steve's words about Bucky's absence nag at you, stirring a curiosity you can't seem to shake.

Stepping out of the office building, you begin your usual walk home. But your feet slow as you near the turning for your apartment block. An impulse, sudden and insistent, takes hold. Instead of turning left toward home, you pivot right, heading in the opposite direction toward Bucky's apartment.

The streets are alive with the bustle of the early evening, but your thoughts are consumed with questions about Bucky. What has he been up to? Why has he been completely off the grid? The nagging concern from Steve's voice echoes in your mind.

Before long, you find yourself standing in front of Bucky's apartment building. You hesitate, questioning if you're overstepping. Yet the urge to check on him, to ensure he's okay, overpowers your doubts. But why? That question lingers prominently in your mind. You know his nature, the complicated relationship you share. You roll your eyes at the absurdity of feeling anything other than animosity toward him. Would he check on you? Would he even entertain these nagging thoughts of concern for you? It seems absurd. However, as you look up at the window you know is his, on the eighth floor, you exhale deeply, a sense of certainty washing over you that Bucky Barnes just might.

"God help me..." you murmur to yourself before pressing the buzzer for several apartments, hoping someone will let you in without question. You know it would be futile to buzz Barnes' number—if he wasn't letting Steve in, he certainly wouldn't let you.

After an awkward conversation on the intercom with one of his neighbours, during which you pretended to be the girlfriend of another tenant who had forgotten her keys, they buzz you in. You head to the elevator, steeling yourself as it ascends to Bucky's floor. It's unlikely to shock anyone anymore that you've visited this apartment block multiple times. As everyone knows, your relationship with Bucky is, to say the least, unconventional.

Once at his door, you hesitate, doubt clouding your judgment once more. If he's not home, this will have been a wasted effort, but at least you'll walk away knowing your intentions were genuine. But if he does answer? Then what? Are you simply going to admit that you were concerned because you haven't heard from him? It's not as if you usually keep in touch. Despite your unconventional relationship, you both maintain certain boundaries, including keeping your personal lives outside of work private. In truth, you have no idea what he's really like beyond SHIELD and the brief, heated moments you share after a frustrating mission or two.

You remind yourself that this is James Barnes. You despise him on the best of days, so why is he making you overthink now? Before you can talk yourself out of it, you knock louder than intended and wait. It's silent, and as you raise your fist to knock again, you hesitate and press your ear against the door instead. Muffled music filters through, whether from a TV or radio, it doesn't matter; it indicates he should be inside. You knock once more, recalling the times he used to pull this on you, finally realizing that his obnoxious, unannounced visits were his twisted way of checking up on you.

Taken aback by this revelation, you pause before your eyes narrow, now annoyed by his lack of response. Your knocks become quicker and more insistent, even beginning to irk you. "Fuck off!" His voice announces his presence, and instinctively, you pause before resuming your insistent knocks. Refusing to relent, you find it somewhat gratifying to be the one on this side of the door for a change.