My home away from home.

Shes back but not for long

We finish training and when we get home I see a familiar car, Jordan's back. "Is she back?" I ask Leah with a massive grin. "Yeah she's back" Leah says happily. "Yes" I cheer.

We get inside and I find Jordan and hug her tight. "You good?" I ask as some tears roll down her face. "Yeah just emotional" she says
"Is it okay if you go in your room or something I need to talk to Leah" she says. "Yeah" I say

I go upstairs and put my AirPods in. I listen to some house music and do some maths homework.

Unlucky 2.0

Josh: hey, I'm bored someone help x

Alesha: what do you want?

Freya: I wonder what mileys doing

Josh: probably with her boyfriend

Me: sorry to disappoint but no, he's not here
And just to clarify he's not my boyfriend x

Freya:  yet x

Josh: we miss you, music was awful today!

Me: I don't even do music here!

Alesha: so unfair

Freya: do you do RE or do you do PSHE?

Me: I do RE but that's always on a Friday and I'm not in on a Friday x

We text for a bit longer before I eventually finish my maths. I take my AirPods out and hear silence in the house, an uncomfortable silence. I go to the bathroom, when I walk out I see Leah and Jordan in their room, both in tears. What was happening? "Miley come here" Leah says to me. I walk into their room.

"Are you both okay?" I ask them
"Look me and Jordan just found out some pretty shit news" Leah says
"Are you okay?" I ask them
"Well me and Jordan need to go to Jordan's home up north for a bit, which means you will have no one. But luckily I've managed to get Holly to let you stay with her for the next couple nights" Leah says
"Oh okay and what about training?" I ask
"Holly has you covered" she says
"Okay" I say

I pack my bag and then we drive to hollys. Leah walks inside with me and speaks to Holly. I see Ben coming downstairs looking surprised to see me as another girl follows him down, Leah stares at him. The girl kisses his cheek then leaves. "That's bens girlfriend" I hear Holly say. I look at him in shock. Leah hugs me and whispers "will you be okay?"
"Mhm" I say
"Okay" she says and pulls away keeping her hands on my shoulders. "Call me if you need anything at any time okay" she says
"Okay" I say. She kisses my forehead and then leaves.

"Have you ate?" Holly asks me. "Erm.. yeah" I say
"Can you show me where I'm sleeping I'm pretty tired" I tell her
"Yeah come on" she says
She takes me upstairs to a room. "Bens just in that room" Holly says signalling to the door next to my room. "Okay" I say
"And the shower is just over there" she says pointing to another room. "Thanks" I say. I walk into my room and immediately put my AirPods in.

I listen to some Adele and James Arthur. I message Hannah, the only girl I'd manage to make friends with.

She says she wanted to meet up, I get ready into some leggings and a jumper, I go downstairs. "Holly is it okay if I go meet my friend. She's only round the corner" I say
"Yeah of course" she says
"Thanks" I say and smile. I walk out the house and see Ben sat on the steps. I walk away "where you going?" I hear him say.
"Why does it matter to you?" I say and keep walking

I find Hannah and she shows me around. I feel myself feeling happy a bit, finally happy again. She walks me back to mine, bens sat in the same position. "How are you?" Hannah asks me as she sees me looking at him. "It's hard I mean he liked totally led me on, who's he even dating anyway?" I ask Hannah.
"That girl called Cara" she says
"Of course" I say
I quickly hug her. "Thanks for this by the way, I really appreciate it" I say
"Anything for a friend" she says smiling. "Are you sure you're okay to walk back?" I ask
"Don't be silly I literally live like 4 houses down" she say
"You sure?" I ask
"Yeah" she says
"Okay" I say. I walk up to the house and she leaves. "Have a good time?" He asks me
I stay silent and walk inside.

"Hello" Holly says to me. "Hey" I say. "What did you do?" She asks. Ben walks inside. "We just walked round and talked I guess" I say
Holly smiles and she says "Leah forgot to get you to bring your uniform, so she phoned the school and the schools said you can go in your arsenal kit as I have to pick you up at lunch for training, apparently Jonas called Leah saying you needed to prepare as you missed a session the other day because of school"
"Okay" I say

I go upstairs and get ready for bed, I lie in the bed and scroll on TikTok. There's a group call. FaceTime.

"Hey" I say to them smiling,
"Hey miss posh" Alesha says
"Yeah" Freya says
"Hey" Josh says
I laugh and say "Alesha trust me, I'm not posh"
"How's it with your boyfriend?" Freya asks me
"He's a total dick, and definitely not my boyfriend" I say
"What happened?" Josh asks
I sigh and say "well Leah and Jordan's had to go up to Jordan's so I'm staying at Holly's, Leah's actual cousin bens like her second cousin. By the way holly is bens mum."
I sigh and say "anyway we got here and he comes downstairs looking shocked. Then another girl comes down, his girlfriend"
"Fucking hell" Alesha says
"I know" I say
"That's pretty shitty" Freya says
"I'm sorry" Josh says
"Yeah, anyway let's not talk about that" I say
"We tried calling you earlier where were you?" Josh asks
"Oh I went on a walk with Hannah" I say
"Is she nice?" Josh asks
"Yeah" I say
"You guys really need to come and see me, I could show you so many things" I say
"Have you spoken to your parents since you left?" Freya asks
"No, they haven't even messaged me, I guess the argument that happened really finished us off. However I tried calling Lucy and she said she was at work. Maybe I need to come up and sort it out" I say
"Lucy seems to be a bit more lenient with me. I just don't get it, like mam was completely out of her mind. It wasn't my fault that her friend died and she gets pissed of with me" I say
"We know" Freya says

Ben walks in. I roll my eyes. "Hey don't roll your eyes at us" Josh says
"I'm not" I say
"That your new boyfriend?" Ben asks me
"Why would it matter to you?" I say
"Because" he says
"Because you lead girls on, help them when they're vulnerable and then stab in the back. Real smooth" I tell him
I hear Freya and Alesha giggling. I put my phone down.

"I was falling for you" he says
"Don't fucking lie Ben!" I say angrily
"Genuinely" he says
"I don't care Ben" I say
"Can you just leave" I ask
He stays still. "What is your problem?" I ask
"Cara's not my girlfriend she's a girl who likes me" he says
"What so your mam just casually says to Leah that's she's your girlfriend, good one that is" I tell him
"And the fact she kissed your cheek" I tell him
"It's a friendly gesture" he says
"No it's not" I state

I see Alesha and Freya laughing as well as Josh. "Guys I'm gonna go, see you all sooon" I tell them. They say bye and I hang up, I get out of the bed and shove past him. I go downstairs and say to Holly "holly does Ben have a girlfriend?"
"Yeah that Cara girl, she's lovely. Been together for about 1 month" she says
"I wouldn't call her lovely. You know she fat shamed me, she's homophobic even though bens cousin is gay but yet that doesn't matter. And racist, she goes out drinking every Friday" I tell her
"Is this true?" She asks her son who followed me down. "Yeah" he says
"Ben!" Holly shouts. "What the fuck is wrong with you!" Ben shouts at me.
"Nothing, you're the one who needs to go somewhere for fucking help!" I shout at him
"Look I don't ever know why Leah ever let you come here! You're a shit person! A shit footballer! And even more shit girl! Your awful! Your fat! You're a twat! You look ug-" he says, before holly screams at him,

I didn't even let it affect me, I didn't cry. I didn't do anything, other than look in the mirror gripping at my skin seeing the fat surrounding my stomach.