My home away from home.

Training

We get to Colney, it was a Friday meaning every one of my friends was at school. I'll admit I've never been the same since Sunday. My mask was working pretty well id say. Beth comes over and sits down next to me in the changing rooms. "I heard that Jonas is gonna give you your debut tomorrow" she says. I stay silent. "What's up?" She asks. "Nothing. And I didn't know I was getting my debut" I say.
"Apparently. I'd invite everyone you love down. Like your parents" she says. I feel myself freeze. Leah comes over and stares at me. "Is everyone ready?" She asks the room. Everyone nods and leaves, except Kim and Leah.

I stay still, not moving, not blinking. Barely breathing. "What's going on with you?" Leah asks me as she kneels down in front of me. "Your usually bubbly and happy and your not anymore. And I don't like seeing you like this" she adds
"I know it may not feel like it to you. But I feel like a mam to you and I don't want to see you like this or hurt. I want you to be a happy girl, because I want you to succeed, and right now I know somethings on your mind. So talk to me" she says
Kim sits next to me. "Whatever it is, you don't need to be worried about telling it to someone. Even if it's not Leah or me, even if it's like to Beth or one of your school friends, as long as someone knows that's okay too. But we are looking out for you" Kim says
"We know what it's like to be a teenager" Leah says
"Even if for Kim that was like the dinosaur era" Leah says making Kim slap her.

"I just, there's a lot on my mind I'm sorry" I say
"Dont apologise" Kim says
"Am I getting my debut tomorrow?" I ask
"I haven't heard anything" Kim says
"Beth told me I was" I say
"Beth jokes a lot, if you do that's amazing and if you don't then so what" Leah says
"Can we train?" I ask
"Come on" Kim says. She leaves first and I hug Leah as we walk out.
We do our session, we go into the dining room and eat some lunch.

I sit at a table with Leah, alessia, Kim, Stina and Manu.

I post on my instagram

@mileyjohnson

Friends, family and arsenal ❤️ @hannahrobson

@mileyjfan: she's calling Jordan and Leah her family 🥹
@leahwilliamson: love you x
@bethmead: aren't you meant to be training?
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We get home and I see Jordan already home. "Guys do you wanna meet someone?" She asks as we walk inside, I turn round to Leah and she was smiling. "This is blu" Jordan says
My face drops. "Oh my god" I say
"Jords he's so cute" Leah says
"Is he yours?" I ask
"He's ours" Jordan corrects me.
I smile and say "he's so cute"
She lets me hold him and I hug him. I sit down on the sofa and he falls asleep on my lap.

"Leah is it okay if Hannah comes over tonight?" I ask
"Of course." Leah says
"We love Hannah" Jordan says
"You don't even know her" I state
"She's still nice" Jordan adds
"She'll have to ask her mam probably though. But she should be allowed unless she has to go see her dad" I tell them
"Where is her dad?" Leah asks
"He works away so he's currently in like York or something" I say
I quickly message Hannah and she says that she can't.

"Yeah it doesn't matter she's going to see her dad" I say
"Eh it's fine" I say
"I can ask if Ben can come over?" Leah says
"Nah, he's a person I go to as my last resort. I don't wanna be hurt because of some boy" I state
"You sure" Leah asks
"Yeah I'll just spend some quality time with you two" I say
"And this cutie" I add stroking blu.

We finished watching the notebook, Leah's favourite. She puts pizza in the oven and we start the parent trap movie. I see as Jordan messages someone. She has a slight smirk on her face. "Jords what you planning?" I ask her. "Nothing" she says
Leah pauses the movie. "I swear down if it's something embarrassing I will kill you" Leah says to her fiancé.
"Can you put white and red roses on my coffin" Jordan replies
I laugh and Leah says "tell me"
"I was just messaging some of the girls from Durham about the wedding that's all" she says
"What about it?" Leah asks
"Oh just something" Jordan says and gets up and goes into the kitchen.

"Get the pizza!" Leah shouts through
"What is she planning?" She asks me.
I shrug and she looks at me confused. "You good?" She asks
"Just got a headache I might just go to bed" I tell her
"Eat something that will help with the headache" she says
"I feel a bit sick too" I add
"Can blu come with me?" I ask
"He's not toilet trained, but if your willing for him to wee on you then yes" she says
"Okay" I say. I pick up the small dachshund and we go upstairs.

I lie in bed and he cuddles next to me, i feel myself fall into a deep sleep.

I wake up and blu had gone, Leah probably had taken him or something. I roll round in my bed trying to find my phone. No where. I go downstairs and ask Leah. "I haven't seen it" she says. "It must be at Colney" I sigh
"Wait no I messaged Hannah" I say
I look for it and find it underneath the sofa in blus mouth broken. I hold it and Jordan walks in telling blu off. "I'll take it to the Apple Store" Leah says.
"This had every memory on, every single thing from when I was home. With Josh, Alesha, Freya. Mum, dad, Lucy. My grandparents. My aunties and uncles, my cousins. I can't lose this" I say annoyed

I feel myself burst into tears, not just because my phone was broken which was a massive factor but also because my period hadn't been for 2 months, and I know everyone says they don't like their period, but when mine doesn't come I get worried. For no reason.