In love with my tour buddies' sister

Cutting and depression

Might be triggering

*Trystyn*
We got back on the bus and I locked myself in the bathroom. Everyone else was on the One Direction tour bus I believe. I rummaged around my bag of toiletries finding my blade. I brought one when I shouldn't have. I took out my phone going on twitter finding hateful comments about the interview today. I had already done a quit video for my channel. I lied to them and told them it was because I couldn't find enough time to do them so I had to stop. Not because of the hate. I had made my comments private because of the hate. Twitter popped up and I had a billon direct messages.
@TStylesVlogs: You are an ugly piece of Shit
@TStylesVlogs: I can't believe they put you on television
@TStylesVlogs: There is no way in hell Ashton will like a fat faggot like you
@TStylesVlogs: You suck at guitar. You aren't loved you just are barely tolerable. You have an annoying voice. Just go kill yourself.
The comments continued like that. I had made ten fresh cuts on my arms and ankles. I washed them off and my blade putting it back in its' hiding place. I replaced my bands and socks standing up and leaving the bathroom. I had also changed into pajamas and climbed in bed. I was tired and miserable. I have depression. You know how much this sucks? I don't tell anyone because I don't want them to worry. That's why I lied to Harry and my subscribers. I just can't handle it. I have the voice back telling me I should kill myself right this time. Make sure no one is there. Like now. I am gonna wait a couple of days first. I heard the tour bus open and put in my headphones. "Trys?" I barely heard. Aspyn giggled, "Shush Ash. She is asleep." "We'll tell her tomorrow morning okay?" Luke said. Ash said, "What if she is awake now." I saw movement in front of my curtain and I rolled over acting like I was asleep. "Trys. Trys. Trys." Ashton pestered. Luke said, "Ashton leave her alone." He quit pestering and they all climbed in bed.