Blond Guys And Blue Skies

Chapter 9

The scene was etched vividly in Johanna's memory. As they boarded the boat, she absorbed the lively atmosphere: colourful streamers fluttering in the breeze, a small group of people lounging on deck chairs, and the sound of upbeat music drifting through the air. The strong smell of the sea mingled with the pungent aroma of booze. Lots of it.

But it was the moment when the small group of familiar faces waved them over to a mahogany table filled with appetizers, cigarettes, and bottles-both covered and uncovered-that made her stomach tighten.

"Uh oh," she thought, recognising the potential for trouble. Although she was hesitant, Mathew insisted it was a good idea, and reluctantly, she agreed. As they walked over, she remained on high alert, avoiding most gazes. The ones she did meet were acknowledged with a weak smile before she quickly moved on with Mathew to find a comfortable spot around the table.

The smell of the sea now competed with the stench of burning cigarettes, a scent Johanna could practically feel in the back of her throat. She glanced over at Mathew, who didn't seem to mind at all. She sighed, scanning the labels on the bottles to see if there was anything she might like, but only liquor stared back at her. Not in the mood for it, she opted to rest her hands in her lap and listen to the conversation instead.

In the midst of the conversation, a question was directed towards both her and Mathew, creating a core memory for Johanna.

"So, Mathew," one of the group started, sipping liquor from a red plastic cup before continuing. "You two were together before college, broke up, and now you're back together. Are you planning on doing long distance?"

"Well, we haven't—"

"Actually, she's moving to Germany with me," Mathew interjected, smiling widely. Johanna looked up at him, confused, her posture becoming rigid.

"What?" she questioned, the atmosphere growing tense as if everyone was holding their breath. "Mathew, I can't just move to Germany with you," she stated, clearly perplexed.

"So what then? You're going to leave me again?" he shot back, his tone controlled but laced with frustration.

"No... I don't know!" Johanna replied, throwing her hands up in defeat. The conversation was teetering on the edge of an argument, and she decided to defuse it before it got out of control.

"We shouldn't even be having this talk here," she said, taking his hand and squeezing it affectionately. "Let's just talk about it later."

She hoped he would let it rest, and thankfully he did. The resolve in his eyes told her he would. This made her wonder if she had rushed into things with him too quickly.

But now that they were home, within the privacy of their four walls, Johanna was determined to bring up the subject again. From their bed, she watched him pace about, doing everything but acknowledging her or the moment earlier. He bathed, brushed his teeth, and put on fresh clothes before stepping out of the room for a few minutes. When he returned, he still avoided eye contact, climbing into bed and tapping away on his phone.

"Aren't we going to discuss what happened earlier?" she asked, looking intently at him.

"I have nothing to say. It sounds like you already made your decision," he replied nonchalantly, finally acknowledging her presence.

"No, I haven't, and you know I'm more than willing to meet you halfway," Johanna said, her tone light and pleading, hoping he would at least listen. He sighed.

"Really? Because it sure doesn't feel like it right now," he commented, now looking directly at her.

"Mathew, moving to Germany with you is extreme, and you know it."

"And so is standing up to my family, but I do it anyway because I love you, Johanna. I made the sacrifice of maybe not having my own family attend our wedding, BUT YOU DON'T HEAR ME COMPLAINING," he said, his voice rising not out of anger but frustration. But it wasn’t his frustration that stood out to Johanna; it was his mention of love and marriage. She looked stupefied, her mind racing with a million thoughts. Maybe, just maybe, she had rushed into things with Mathew. Perhaps her feelings were stunted, and it was her fear of loneliness driving this relationship. She began to wonder.

Mathew felt his stomach drop at the sudden flash of doubt across her face. He knew that look all too well. It was the same one she wore in the final days of their past relationship. Desperate to persuade her, he dropped his phone and pulled her head tenderly into his chest, stroking her hair.

"Don't look at me like that. I'm sorry for what I did earlier, and I believe we can work things out, whether long distance or face-to-face. I just feel so uneasy when you're away from me," he said, stopping when he felt her hand cup his face and saw her adjusting to meet his eyes.

"Listen to me, I'll never leave you again," she began, but Mathew quickly interjected.

"Promise me," he said.

"What?" she asked, feeling unsure about her own words. How could she promise something she wasn't certain of herself?

"Promise me you won't leave me, now or ever," he said, holding her hand against his face and looking at her with softened eyes. She cleared her throat and summoned every last bit of courage within her.

"I promise," she said, immediately feeling a pang of regret. Not because of what she had said or what came next, but because she was lying to herself, and she hated that. Mathew smiled widely at her, and she couldn't help but smile back weakly.

"We never got to do what we went on the boat to do," Mathew said, and Johanna knew all too well what he was talking about, but decided to play it off.

"Do what?" she replied with a nervous laugh, not in the mood at all.

"You know, have a little private time," he said, moving in for a kiss, but she subtly dodged it.

"Perhaps just a movie tonight? Yes?" she suggested, yawning and getting off the bed to go to the living room. Mathew, oblivious, tailed her, thinking she just wanted a different scenery for their lovemaking. But Johanna was adamant about making sure nothing happened tonight.

***
Author's Note
Thank you all, I see my book climbing the ladder in views and I'm just getting so emotional seeing it. Believe me, I've been coming here every minute since I've published the last chapter and every time I swear this book goes up in views and I really appreciate it. But also please vote on the chapters because it gives me extra motivation and makes me know that you're here, thank you🙏🥹.

Cloudy~