Classroom of The Elite: A New Masterpiece

SS.4 - This Feeling in Me (Ichinose)

"Merry Christmas, Honami."

As the calming warmth that wrapped around my body began to dissipate.

Fukumoto-kun gave me one last smile before he left my room with his gifts.

I returned to my room to sift through all the gifts Fukumoto-kun gave me.

My hands automatically reached for the portable projector.

Sitting on my bed, I looked through the instructions and fiddled with the projector.

I will definitely be using this for a long time.

"Hmm, where would be the best spot to put this?"

I looked around from the comfort of my bed to find the most ideal spot to place this.

Aim it at the roof? A plain wall?

Using my hands, I created a tiny window to try and imagine where watching a movie would be best in my room.

As I continued to look around my room, a glint of light caught the corner of my eye.

I looked at my wrist and couldn't help but smile at the bracelet on it.

I slumped back into the comfort of my bed as my eyes stayed glued to the piece of jewelry on my wrist.

It was a small gift, but it meant everything to me.

It was six months ago that Fukumoto-kun sat me down on that bench and handed me this.

In the moment, I was too excited to even process what was going on.

But nonetheless, I have always cherished that moment.

To come off of two mentally and physically exhaustive exams. There was a heavy burden on me as I was faced with the gravity of the situation being apart of this school.

Then, suddenly, a ray of light would shot through the obscurity and remind me of the good in life.

Someone who helped me to refocus my vision and ignite me to give it my all here.

Fukumoto Akio.

The person most special to me.

A feeling inside my chest began to burn inside me as I thought about him.

It was a feeling I couldn't describe.

This feeling was different.

Different than my first crush back in middle school.

My first crush was a senpai of mine back in middle school.

He was on the student council when I went there. He was always a kind and compassionate person. Willing to lend a helping hand to anyone who needed it.

I've always tried to model my life after him.

He was strongly rooted in his values and was a diligent individual.

It may be pathetic that I never dared to talk to him. And that this crush was very one sided.

But laying here now, and thinking back to those days, did I truly like him, or did I just admire him?

Because the feeling I get thinking about Fukumoto-kun feels extremely different to what I felt back then.

But I don't know how to describe this feeling in me.

Whether its when I'm with Fukumoto-kun, watching him during special exams, or hearing about his achievements at this school. I feel a sense of joy, pride, and a stronger feeling about him than I did with my senpai in middle school.

When I see his talents and accomplishments first hand, it makes me want to improve myself so I would be worthy to stand beside him.

Not just admiring him from afar.

He's helped me so much throughout the short time I've known him, but I very much want to return that favour at some point.

This school is a strong contradiction to my own values.

I want to see the good in everyone, to be connected with everyone, and be there to help everyone as best as I can.

But this school has different ideas.

It pits class against class so often that it forces you to fight against your friends and those close to you.

This school isn't built to have a happy ending.

Being in that environment for too long is bound to bring about pain to all of us. Forcing us to change to win.

It makes me wonder how that will affect all of us in the future. myself, my class, even Fukumoto-kun.

Would I be too selfish in hoping for a deeper relationship with Fukumoto-kun? Would that be putting a hamper on class?

Do I let my own desires control how I advance through this school? Or do I push those aside to help all the people in my class achieve their dreams?

I turned over in bed as the thoughts in my head kept swirling around.

"If only this was a regular high-school," I let out a small sigh.

What matters the most to me right now? The class and our future? Or Fukumoto-kun?

Yet another burden created by this school.

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