𝔢𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔩

two

The only thing that kept Nadine going for the next few dull weeks was the book her parents had written; the once dust-covered leather binding finally being used again, crease marks forming on the spine.

It was her kind of escapism. Her way to be someone else in a life that she never asked for. A life where she would sit, locked away in a room that wasn't hers, in a house that didn't feel like home.

Sometimes, she would look out to the horizon at sunset as she watched the people who worked for her grandparents return home as the orange and pink beams of light scattered the sky.

If her family was in Heaven, if Heaven was even real, she hoped they weren't disappointed in her.

"Mom, Dad, Pandora..." Nadine whispered to herself one night as she slipped a black cloak over her white nightgown that was lined with lace. "If you're watching, please look away,"

She murmured before slipping out of her room, closing the door as softly as possible. Over the last few weeks, Nadine dedicated time to figure out which floorboards creaked and how to avoid them. You know, just in case.

Nadine's bare feet glided gracefully around the boards, almost like a dancer practicing a well-rehearsed routine. As she finally reached the bottom step of the last flight of stairs, she saw the silhouette of her brother, the soft moonlight reflecting in dulled colors from the stained glass.

His knees were tucked to his chest, his gaze fixated on the window. She heard him sniffle, reaching up and wiping his cheek. He was crying.

God, she wanted to sneak away. Nadine didn't want him to know she was trying to escape... but there was no way she'd leave her twin brother alone as he cried. Not when she could comfort him.

She cautiously approached her brother, sitting on the window sill across from him. Orion glanced at her for a moment, then back at the glass. He seemed like he was giving her a cold shoulder.

"Orion..." she muttered, unsure of what to say to him. She couldn't tell him it was okay; it wasn't. Their family was dead, their Aunt and Uncle couldn't keep them, and now they were hours away from their friends. Nothing seemed okay.

Nadine prayed that something would send her a beam of light, promising her comfort and peace from this emotional hurricane that she hid inside her heart.

She watched a tear roll down her brother's cheek, and without a word, Nadine reached over and brushed it off, making Orion look at her.

"Nads," his voice was choked, as if he was desperately trying to be quiet. "How do you do it?" he finished finally.

That left Nadine confused. "Do what?"

"Be okay."

"I'm not," Nadine insisted

"Well, you look like it. I haven't seen you cry once since the fire. Not once have I seen you upset. Sure, you're distant, but does it really matter if you seem like you're okay?"

Nadine could see what he meant. She didn't want to seem as if she was in as much torment as she really was, but her brain told her to hide it.

"Because I don't want you to see me upset," she admitted.

"You're my twin sister, Nadine! You can't just do that to me," he whisper-yelled, careful not to be loud.

That silenced the girl. She had no words. Maybe, just maybe, the distance and the emotionless act wasn't working the way she'd hoped.

"Orion, I didn't mean-"

"Well, Nadine, you did anyway," He snapped at her, cutting off her sentence. "Just... I can't look at you right now."

That's it. He got up and went up the stairs as quickly and quietly as he could.

Orion left Nadine alone with her thoughts, which were a furious jumble of guilt and shame. Her brother was not just the only direct family she had left, but he was her favorite person in the world. She'd do anything for him, and she was hurting him.

The little voice in the back of her head told her to be quiet. The little parasitic voice that had appeared since the night she was sent to her cousin's home. It creeped into every moment where she was so close to almost processing her emotions. It turned every single waking hour rotten.

Nadine looked to the glass, the patterns and designs stained, rain pattering softly on the pane. The weaving webs of color seemed to comfort Nadine as she watched droplets of water roll down the glass like the tears that refused to leave her eyes.

She couldn't stay here. She needed to escape desperately.

Her feet seemed to move on their own accord, carrying her out of the cold manor and onto the trimmed lawn, out into the gardens filled with roses and tulips. She didn't care about the rain in her hair or the water on her lashes, she just needed out.

It was like she was being kept in a prison; her grandmother the warden and her bedroom the cell. The walls were padded and the daily routine was the same. It was driving her mad.

Escape. I need to escape. The words echoed in her mind as if she was standing in a long, dark tunnel, where the only light was a pinprick in the distance. She was drawn somewhere. Her feet moved like they had a mind of their own, drawing her across the wide, open field and into the dark woods.

Moonlight rippled over the dewy, rainkissed grass as she ran, holding her nightgown so she wouldn't fall.

Something was calling her, and she needed to answer.

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WE ARE FUCKING BACK BABYYYYY

ya'll so much has happened in my life since the last update ya'll don't even know

I'm actually shocked out of my balls bc I somehow pulled myself a man with feelings?? like it's actually crazy

today is my birthday!!! I went to six flags with all of my best friends and I'm so happy that I have them bc I have no idea what I'd do without them. 

I will be posting (hopefully) more regularly now!!

- Avery Kate