TURN BACK THE TIME

Chap#13:Acceptance

New returned home, feeling drained from the day's events. As he stepped inside, the familiar tension of his household weighed down on him. His brother, Joss, was in the living room, watching TV. The moment Joss noticed New, his expression soured.

Joss: "Look who decided to come back. You think you're so special, don't you?"

New sighed, not in the mood for another confrontation. "I'm not in the mood, Joss. Can we just not do this today?"

Joss stood up, blocking New's path. "Not in the mood? When are you ever in the mood to deal with reality? You walk around like the world owes you something."

New tried to walk past him, but Joss shoved him back. "You think you're better than me? Always getting sympathy from others. You're just a pathetic excuse."

New's heart pounded, his earlier resolve weakening under Joss's harsh words. "Joss, please. I just want to go to my room."

Joss laughed bitterly. "Of course you do. Run away, like always. You're such a coward."

New: "Joss, enough! Do you have any idea how frustrating and tiring it is to fight every day, to stay silent and just take everyone's crap? It's so hard to breathe in this place!"

Joss looked taken aback by New's sudden outburst but quickly masked it with his usual scowl. "What are you talking about?"

New's voice shook with emotion. "I'm talking about you! I'm talking about how you treat me like trash, every single day. At least not as my brother, but as a human, can you have a little mercy on me? I've had enough already!"

Joss opened his mouth to retort, but New cut him off, his voice rising in desperation. "Holding a grudge for all these years won't bring Mom and Dad back, but it will make you lose your only family member left. Do you want that? Do you want to drive me away too?"

Joss's face tightened, a mix of anger and confusion. "What are you saying?"

New's eyes filled with tears, his voice breaking. "Don't make me hate myself more than I already do. I'm trying so hard to hold on, but you're making it impossible. Please, Joss, I'm begging you, just stop. I can't take it anymore."

New's pent-up emotions finally erupted, his voice shaking with the intensity of his feelings. He confronted Joss, unable to hold back any longer.

New: "I've had enough, Joss! Every time I tried to say something, I just stayed silent because I knew I was at fault. But even God forgives us for our mistakes. I didn't even do something that terrible on purpose. Did that five-year-old deserve the hate you gave him? Did he deserve hate for being gay, just because his form of love is different?"

Joss was stunned into silence, watching as New's hands shook and his eyes filled with tears. The physical manifestation of New's pain was undeniable, the blank, tearful eyes speaking volumes more than his words ever could.

New: "You don't see how much it hurts, do you? It's not just emotional, it's physical. Your hate and anger are tearing me apart."

Joss looked at his brother, truly seeing the extent of New's suffering for the first time. The guilt and regret on his face deepened as he took in New's trembling form and the raw pain etched into his features.

New: "I didn't deserve this. I've tried so hard to understand, to make peace, but it's never enough for you. I'm tired, Joss. I'm so tired of feeling like I have to apologize for existing, for being who I am.do I 

Without thinking, Joss stepped forward and wrapped his arms around New, pulling him into a tight hug.

New froze for a moment, the unexpected embrace catching him off guard. But then, all the pent-up hurt and frustration broke through, and he clung to Joss, sobbing uncontrollably.

New: "It hurts so much, Joss. I've been carrying this for so long. Why did you have to treat me like this?"

Joss held New tightly, tears streaming down his own face. "I'm sorry, New. I'm so, so sorry.

 The two brothers stood there, holding each other, their shared pain and regret filling the space between them. New cried into Joss's shoulder, letting out years of suppressed emotions, while Joss whispered apologies, his own tears mixing with New's.

New: "I just wanted you to see me, to accept me for who I am. Is that too much to ask?"

Joss shook his head, his voice choked with emotion

New: "I feel like it was a big mistake to have me. I was not worth it from the beginning. Am I really this much of a bad human? Do I really deserve this?"

Joss pulled New into another hug, holding him tightly. "Because I made you feel that way, and I'm so sorry for it. You've done nothing to deserve this pain. I was wrong, 

New looked up at Joss, his eyes filled with tears. "Then why do I feel this way? Why do I feel like everything is my fault?"

New sobbed into Joss's shoulder, the years of hurt pouring out in waves. "I just want to feel like I matter, like I'm worth something."

What New didn't know was that Tay had decided to come to his home to apologize. After days of guilt and reflection, Tay realized the extent of the hurt and damage he had caused. He couldn't bear the thought of leaving things as they were, so he gathered the courage to face New and make amends.

Tay stood outside New's house, his heart heavy with regret. He could hear muffled voices and the faint sound of crying from within. Hesitating for a moment, he gathered his resolve and took a step forward, ready to knock on the door. Just as he raised his hand, he heard New's voice, filled with frustration and pain, talking to his brother, Joss.

New: "I feel like it was a big mistake to have me. I was not worth it from the beginning. Am I really this much of a bad human? Do I really deserve this?"

Tay's heart sank as he listened, realizing just how deeply New was hurting. Tears welled up in Tay's eyes, and he wiped them away, feeling the weight of his actions pressing down on him. He understood that he was the reason for so much of New's pain and anger, and the guilt was almost unbearable.

Without making a sound, Tay turned and walked away from New's house.