Choosing Love Over Honor [Agents of the Crown #2]

Chapter 15

"I didn't want to die regretting never telling you that."

"You're not dying, so stop saying that."

Lionel chuckled at the firm, almost angry way in which Charlotte glared at him from the edge of his bed where he was sitting. She had roused the physician from his slumber once she figured out Leo was awake last night, more or less hauling him to give the man a check. Only when the physician had declared the agent out of risk and on the road to recovery, had Charlotte let him return to his bedroom. She had remained there until a maid had come by as dawn broke, watching Leo continue his slumber, insisted for the maid to remain with Lionel until the rest of the household awoke, before she too had went to the spare room Fabian had asked the housekeeper to prepare for her and crashed there.

Morning had came about and went since, and Charlotte had quickly headed over after she had her breakfast (or lunch? somewhere in between), somehow still nervous despite hearing the assurance from the physician the night before. It was only when she laid her eyes on his form slowly eating some bread and cheese, with some color back in his cheeks, did she finally heaved a sigh of relief - a relief that was quickly replaced by a nervous, excited frisson when Lionel had glanced at her, and flashed her a roguish grin.

She hadn't forgot what he had said. But she never did reply him. It had been a flurry of activity, after which it was firmly dictated that the man had some rest, yet now as the maid cleared away his tray and left the room, despite the door being left ajar for some semblance of propriety (which really should've flown out the window after the few days they spent alone at the Foundling House), Charlotte suddenly felt as if she couldn't meet his gaze again, averting it to stare at some threads which suddenly looked highly fascinating all of a sudden.

"I know you heard me, Charlie." she paused, her breath catching at Lionel's serious tone. The girl briefly glanced up, and could feel her cheeks flush when she met his intense gaze.

"I love you."

For someone who had spent years perfecting the art of not saying, not showing, not even giving out a hint of his feelings for his best friends younger sister, it was as if a dam had broken in Lionel once he said it the first time, and couldn't seem to stop himself. Each time those three words rolled off his tongue, it was like he was trying to make up for years of hiding away and forcing his feelings down into a box. Now, it was overcompensating, but when she didn't respond, a part of him got a little worried. Reaching out for her hands, he took little comfort in how she did not flinch away as he wrapped his fingers around hers, squeezing it tightly. "I'm not giving up on this anymore, Charlie."

As much as the warmth on her fingers made her heart skip, a part of her had grown so used to keeping Leo at a distance, to protect her own heart, that even as he said the words himself, Charlotte found herself needing to fight with her own logic to get through to what he was saying, far too afraid of her heart breaking again if this time proved to be false.

"I'm... sorry, so sorry. I spent too long thinking of what Fabian would think, and that I... I had nothing to give yo-"

"What?" At the last part, Charlotte found herself frowning as she looked up. Nothing? She didn't see how that added up. Despite having no noble title of his own, Lionel Chadwick was arguably one of the richest in the ton with the amount of money the Museum made off the very nobles who looked down their noses at him. Charlotte laughed at the idea that he was anywhere beneath them, when he could easily beat them all at their own game.

He wore a wistful smile, eyes falling to where their hands were twined together, and his thumb pad slowly rubbed circles on her fingers as he spoke. "You are the daughter of a duke, sweetheart. Or well, the sister of one now. You are a lady of your own right. I... have nothing to offer you. And I used to think I would simply be an impediment, a deadweight to your success. It is why I have avoided you at every turn, because I want to give you a chance for a better life." he paused, a half smile curling one side of his lips upwards. Pulling her hands towards his lips, he pressed a soft kiss, and Charlotte's breath hitched at the warmth of his lips on the bare palm. "But I can't do it anymore. I can't sit and watch someone else take you away, dim your light. Someone who... doesn't quite understand just who you are, when you are mine."