Take a Chance with Me

Status: It's Complicated!

After days of a hectic schedule, we were given a weeklong break to rejuvenate. Ate Aiah had her trips abroad, Ate Maloi, Mikha, Sheena, and Ate Colet went to visit their families, and Gwen and Jhoanna planned a trip to Hong Kong separately. I chose to stay with my mom and bond with her. It was comforting to reconnect with my first best friend, sharing stories, and finding solace in her unwavering support.

But when Jhoanna returned from her trip, everything changed. She became distant, refusing our usual sleepovers, and declining my invitations to hang out. Instead, she seemed to be constantly with Ate Colet and the rest of the girls, always excluding me. It felt like history repeating itself.

---

One evening, as I sat in my room scrolling through social media, I saw a photo of Jhoanna and Ate Colet at a café, laughing and looking carefree. My heart sank. Why was she avoiding me? What had I done wrong?

Gwen noticed my somber mood the next day during practice. "Hey, Stakuri, you okay? You seem a bit off."

I sighed, trying to keep my emotions in check. "I'm fine, just tired."

Gwen wasn't convinced. "Is it about Jhoanna?"

I hesitated before nodding. "Yeah. She's been avoiding me since she got back. I don't know why."

Gwen put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Maybe you should talk to her. Clear the air."

---

I took Gwen's advice and decided to confront Jhoanna after rehearsal. I found her in the break room, chatting with Ate Colet. My heart pounded as I approached them.

"Hey, Jho, can we talk for a minute?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

Jhoanna glanced at Ate Colet before nodding. "Sure, Staku."

We stepped outside, and I took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "Jho, is everything okay? You've been avoiding me since you got back from Hong Kong."

Jhoanna looked away, her expression unreadable. "I've just been busy, that's all."

"Busy?" I echoed, feeling a pang of hurt. "But you have time for everyone else except me."

"It's not like that, Stacey," she said, her voice tinged with frustration. "I just needed some space."

"Space from what?" I asked, my voice breaking. "From me?"

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I don't know, Stacey. Things have been complicated."

"Complicated how?" I pressed, my heart aching. "We're best friends, Jho. You can tell me anything."

Jhoanna's eyes softened for a moment, but then she looked away. "It's just... I don't want to hurt you."

"Hurt me?" I whispered, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes. "How could you hurt me by just being honest?"

Jhoanna didn't answer, and the silence between us felt like a chasm. Finally, she muttered, "I need to go. I'll see you later, Staku."

As she walked away, I felt a tear slip down my cheek. The person I cared about the most was slipping through my fingers, and I didn't know how to stop it.

---

The next few days were a blur of rehearsals and performances. Jhoanna continued to distance herself, and the pain of her absence was like a constant ache in my chest. Even Gwen noticed my distress.

"Stakuri, you need to talk to her again," Gwen urged one afternoon. "You can't just let this go."

"I tried, Gwen," I said, my voice hollow. "She won't open up to me."

"Then make her," Gwen insisted. "Show her how much this is hurting you. Maybe she'll finally understand."

---

That night, I found myself standing outside Jhoanna's condo. My heart pounded as I knocked on the door, praying she would answer. When she did, her eyes widened in surprise.

"Stacey? What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice wary.

"We need to talk, Jho," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "I can't keep doing this. I need to know what's going on."

Jhoanna hesitated but then stepped aside, letting me in. We sat on her couch, the tension between us almost palpable.

"Jho, please," I began, my voice shaking. "Why are you avoiding me? What did I do wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong, Stacey," she said softly. "It's me. I... I'm scared."

"Scared of what?" I asked, my heart breaking. "We're best friends, Jho. We've always been there for each other."

She took a deep breath, tears welling in her eyes. "I'm scared of losing you, Stacey. I don't know how to handle these feelings. It's confusing, and it terrifies me."

My heart ached as I reached out to take her hand. "You won't lose me, Jho. Whatever you're feeling, we can figure it out together."

Jhoanna looked at me, her eyes filled with uncertainty. "But what if it changes everything? What if we can't go back to the way things were?"

I squeezed her hand, my voice firm. "We'll never know unless we try. Please, Jho, don't shut me out. I need you."

In that moment, the walls she had built around herself seemed to crumble. She leaned in, her forehead resting against mine. "I need you too, Stacey. More than you know."

The words hung between us, heavy with unspoken emotions. And as we sat there, holding each other, I knew that whatever happened next, we would face it together.

---

The next morning, I woke up feeling hopeful. But that hope was short-lived when Jhoanna texted me, asking for space. She apologized for the mixed signals and said she needed time to sort out her feelings. My heart shattered anew, but I respected her wishes.

A few days later, I learned from Ate Maloi that Jhoanna's parents had told her to stop the fan services with me. They were conservative and didn't approve of our close friendship being so public and how we were acting inappropriately at times, especially since we were both girls. This revelation made everything click into place.
---

During one of our rehearsals, I noticed Jhoanna standing off to the side, looking lost in thought. Gathering my courage, I approached her once more.

"Jho, can we talk?" I asked quietly.

She looked up, a mixture of relief and apprehension in her eyes. "Yeah, of course."

We stepped outside, the cool air providing a stark contrast to the heated emotions swirling between us.

"I heard about your parents," I began, not sure how to approach the subject delicately. "I'm sorry you're dealing with that."

Jhoanna sighed, her shoulders sagging. "It's just... so hard, Stacey. They don't understand. They think it's just a phase or something inappropriate."

"You're not alone in this," I said, my voice gentle but firm. "Whatever happens, we'll face it together. But you need to be honest with me. I can't help if I don't know what's going on."

She looked at me, tears brimming in her eyes. "I don't want to lose you, Staku. But I don't know how to make this work with everything else going on."

I took a deep breath, trying to steady my own emotions. "We'll figure it out. But you need to stop shutting me out. I can't keep guessing how you feel."

Jhoanna nodded, a tear slipping down her cheek. "I'm sorry, Staku. I never wanted to hurt you."

I pulled her into a hug, holding her tightly. "I know, Jho. I know. Just promise me we'll be honest with each other from now on."

She nodded against my shoulder. "I promise."

The days that followed were filled with a delicate dance of push and pull. Jhoanna and I tried to navigate our complicated feelings while maintaining a semblance of normalcy in our friendship.