Warnings: Swearing, scars, self harm described, self harm parallels, strong self-hatred, suicidal ideation and sentiments. Summary of events will be included at the beginning of the next chapter. Take warnings seriously, including those in the introduction section.
Word Count: 1251
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽sᴄᴀʀʀᴇᴅ ɪɴ ɪɴᴋ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
"Holy fuck," Mashirao says.
I just stare. Stare down at my arms. My gloves are crumpled on the floor and my arms are bare.
My chest is empty of a heartbeat.
My head, for once, is empty of any thought.
And I am empty of emotion.
I look up at Rao. He stares down at my bare arms, mouth forming words I can't decipher. I catch his look for a moment, wonder why his eyes are misting up and his mouth curving down.
But then my gaze is diverted, because they all start to walk in.
Kaminari and Yaoyorozu and Tsuyu, they all walk into my room, into my personal block of space. And they see my arms.
Jagged scars twist around my skin, white remains of cuts, of letters, of despair. I see the line that splits my right palm in two from the hazy lens of the cold vacuum outside the exosphere. I see the words, inked fresh and scarred old, and though I'm a million miles away the blood is stained into my vision.
It pours down my arms, from every cut and line and mark. The streams of life, the crimson waterfalls that crash to the floor scream out my sins.
Every night I brought a steel blade to my forearms was a dark night. Every day I scratched words I didn't know the meaning of into my skin was a day of sun, foreign, unsympathetic to the moon. My skin is tough as stone, as fragile as ceramic, cracked in a million spiderweb fragments. Neither gold plating nor cement could glue my broken soul back together.
I'm stuck in my own mind, trapped in a body that breaks further and further, a slow descent to dust every time the hour hand of the clock revolves once more.
Red.
White.
Ink and scar.
Blood and bone.
My broken heart bleeds through the ink. I don't deserve it mended. I want to carve open my arms until I find a layer that bleeds regret, bleeds out something that might tell me I'm good, I deserve better, and I want to carve open my arms to punish myself for those thoughts.
I stand in the middle of my room and blood floods from my weak arms, fills out the corners. We're stranded on a strait of misery, me and those who surround me.
HOW DARE YOU
LOOK AT ME
WITH THOSE EYES
PITY
HATE
TEARING MY SKIN OPEN
WITH THOSE EYES
What did you do? What did I do? The scar burns further into my skin, never healed properly because it was never forgotten, never forgiven. Ding, ding, ding, three notes of terror shivering up my arms, radiating from the mark that tells the world why I must be avoided.
The girl. The monster.
Who is who?
I am a monster who hides in plain sight, blending in amongst the crowds as if I have the same red hearts as others. I am a girl who let a monster grow in her own head, a nightmare too true to awake from.
Who is who?
The monster. The girl.
Are we one and the same? Are we the sun and moon? Who are you, who am I, what did you do, what did I do?
YOU ARE READING
𝐋𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐫 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 ☆ ᴀ 𝙼𝙷𝙰 𝙾𝙲 sᴛᴏʀʏ
Fanfiction"𝘔𝘺 𝘘𝘶𝘪𝘳𝘬 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘴, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘳." ᴏᴠᴇʀᴘᴏᴡᴇʀᴇᴅ, ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴʟᴇss, ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴀᴜɴᴛᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀsᴛ, ʜᴏsʜɪᴢᴏʀᴀ ᴜᴋɪᴢᴜᴋɪ ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ʙᴜɴᴅʟᴇ ᴏғ ᴊᴏʏ. ᴀɴᴅ sʜᴇ's ɢᴏᴛ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʀᴇᴀsᴏɴ-- ᴛᴏᴏ ᴍᴀɴʏ, ɪɴ ғᴀᴄᴛ. ʙᴜᴛ ᴡᴇ ʟɪᴠᴇ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴡᴏʀʟ...
