Broken with Hope

Chapter 1

Now.

"Let's go, Lilith."

I'm dying. My brain is numb. It's only function is to allow me to panic. My mind is racing with different thoughts every second.

I forgot to feed the dog.

My bags are still upstairs.

I haven't eaten all day.

I'm not hungry.

The dog must be.

My nail polish is chipped.

Maybe he will come.

I texted him.

He didn't answer.

He hasn't answered.

A new thought brings on more panic. This feels like dying. I'm not dying though. Physically, I'm okay. Emotionally, I'm suffering.

"The car will be here any minute now. God, why are you always waiting last minute? Where are your bags? Go get them this instant." My mom's calm tone became more insistent with every demand.

She is always calm though and that infuriated me. I wanted to freak out now. I wanted to stomp up the stairs, grab my bags, then throw them. I wanted to scream as loud as I could about anything and everything. I'd scream about how much I hated jello and politics and the news. Then I'd yell at my mom for leaving my dad, while throwing my bags out my bedroom window. My mom never let me open that window.

"Lilith." There it is, her calm tone again.

It's Lily. I hate Lilith.

"Yes." I say, in the same calm manner I was taught to speak with.

"Go get your bags now. The car will be here and I don't want anyone to wait on us. It's rude."

"Okay." I sigh, going up the stairs.

I grab my bags and look at my room for one final time. It was empty and meaningless now. All my stuff was moved into my new house a couple of days ago. The room looked like any other room. Nothing made it my room anymore. It wasn't mine now either. According to mom, a "respectable" family with a seven year old now own this house. I guess the seven year old will be living in this room.

"Lilith!" I hear her call from downstairs, rushing me.

I quickly rush to my bedroom window and unlock the tabs. Then with some effort I manage to open the window. It was dusty and creaked when I slid it open, but it felt good. I never opened the window before. I left it open, grabbing my bags to leave.

"Lilith! The car is here, come down stairs. Now."

"Coming." I say, rushing down the stairs.

"Bear is already in the carrier just grab his food bowl and meet me outside in two minutes."

Bear is my dog, actually my dad's dog, but when he left he didn't take him. I guess he's mine now.

I leave my bags by the door and take Bear's food bowl from the kitchen. My mind begins to race again as my anxiety returns.

I hear a car honk. I check my phone, still no answer. I text him again.

I need you. Please.

Maybe he will answer. But what makes this text different from the others that still went unanswered? Nothing.

Another car honk sounds and this time I grab my bags and the food bowl. I slip on my sneakers and close the door from behind me.