Behind The Scenes

Chapter 7: Choosing Me

The slam of the front door echoed through the empty apartment, the sound a final, echoing punctuation to the storm of emotions raging inside me. The air felt heavy, thick with the residue of tears I'd fought back, of anger and betrayal, a finality that had settled like dust on my heart. Alex was sitting on my couch, nonchalantly scrolling through his phone, as if nothing had happened. As if the world hadn't just shifted on its axis, as if the crumbling foundation of our relationship hadn't just cracked wide open.

'I'm done, Alex,' I said, my voice barely a whisper, yet holding the force of a thousand storms. 'I checked out a long time ago. And no, this isn't about Devora,' I added, my voice hardening, my gaze meeting his. 'This isn't about some sudden attraction, some fleeting infatuation. This is about me being tired, so tired of carrying the weight of your expectations, your need to control, your incessant need to maintain this facade of a perfect relationship for the benefit of everyone except myself. It's time I started living my truth.'

I took a step closer, my hand resting on the back of the couch, the image of Devora's hands on my back in the nightclub a vivid, almost tangible memory. 'I'm an actress,' I continued, my voice rising with the tide of my emotions, 'I've won Emmys, Oscars, a goddamn Tony! And yet, here I am, playing a role, pretending to be happy, pretending to be loved, while crumbling from the inside. This is not who I am. You think you made me who I am? That I need you to survive? That my success is a product of your wisdom, your guidance? I don't need you, Alex. And I don't want you. You're a cheater, a liar, a narcissist, and you disgust me. Alexander, to think that at one point in my life, I loved you. I did. But the cheating, the lying, it's a sickness that permeates your entire being. I can't do this anymore.'

The silence that followed felt heavy, oppressive. His gaze, once filled with a possessive glint, now held a flicker of fear, a flicker of realization. He knew, in that moment, that the facade was shattered.

'You'll never find someone to love you like I do,' he said, attempting to reclaim some control, his voice laced with a desperate whine.

'I hope not,' I countered, my voice a low growl, 'because I can do bad all by myself. Get out of my house.'

The door slammed behind him, leaving me standing in the silence, the weight of his presence lifting from the room, a strange sense of liberation washing over me. The air felt lighter, cleaner. And in the wake of the storm, a new emotion bubbled up, a warmth that spread through my chest, a feeling that was both strange and comforting: relief. But alongside the relief, there was a flicker, a spark of something else, something unexpected. It was the memory of the night club scene, of our bodies intertwined in the pulsating rhythm of the music, of Devora's eyes, so dark and intense, holding mine, as if she saw a part of me I hadn't even known existed.

We were supposed to be playing a part, a scene for a soap opera. But the lines had blurred, the characters dissolved, and for a fleeting moment, we had become more than actors. We had become real. And the feeling of her hand on my back, the way our bodies moved together, the heat of her gaze burning into mine... it felt like a betrayal, a forbidden territory, a transgression that left me with a thrilling, terrifying thrill.

What was this feeling? Was it just the scene, the lingering heat of the performance, or was something truly shifting within me? Could it be that the truth I was searching for, the one I'd finally found the courage to embrace, was something I hadn't even considered? Could it be that the truth was standing just outside my door, waiting to be embraced? The thought sent a shiver down my spine, a mixture of fear and anticipation. But one thing was certain: the world had changed. The crimson tie that bound me to Alex had snapped, and the door to a new, unknown future was flung wide open. And it seemed, with a nervous thrill and a flutter in my chest, that Devora Rossi might just hold the key to unlocking it.