Just For Today

Chapter 1

Dedicated to Eden,
I can't wait for the day
When your troubles lessen
and you can read this 

With only 30 minutes allotted to feed yourself before you're needed back in a hot, cramped, and much too busy cafe, there are very few options available to you. You could always just grab a muffin top or a cookie from the cafe, if you want to be running on sugar all day. But if you're someone who prefers real, nutritional food, you won't find it there. You would have to find something in the small restaurants and shops outside, within your small timeframe. I am someone who cannot run on sugar, I can barely function if that's all I have fueling my brain. I am forced to be the person who must run 4 blocks down to the quiet little sandwich shop I love so dearly.
    Typically in the 30 minute timeframe, getting food from another place nearby is an easy feat. Typically you would have plenty of time to get your food, bring it back to the cafe, and eat it peacefully in the break room. Today is no typical day. Today a customer asked me for help just as I was walking around the counter to exit the cafe. I had already clocked out for my break, I was well within my rights to ignore them and keep moving, but being the star employee and kind person I am I decided to stop. I stopped and got to answer every last question they had. Typically, people ask very simple things. Where is the bathroom? Can I get this to go? Do you have cream and sugar? All things I can answer in seconds, just by pointing out their surroundings. Like I already said, this was not a typical day. This customer wanted to ask me about every single item on the menu, and after all that they still weren't done. It took seven minutes for me to gain the ability to pass them off to a coworker, who was very much so not happy with me when I did.
    So now, I am faced with a dangerously difficult task. The task of making it to the sandwich shop and back before my remaining 23 minutes are over. I've gotten lunch from the same sandwich shop practically every day for the past two years. I know on a typical day it would only take me about 15 minutes. Again I say, this was now a typical day. Today the sidewalks are filled with people taking in the sights, they're checking out all the little shops, and walking so very slow so they can window shop. Today is not my day. When I looked out the window to see the path before me, I'm not very sure my goal is even plausible. I'm pretty certain I will never even make it to the shop before my break is going to end. Despite my logical brain telling me to not even make the attempt, I take off running down the street as fast as I can.
    My run is filled with dodging people as they move slowly and block me from moving forward. Some people try to stop me and ask me questions about the square, seeing that I'm wearing a uniform and badge. Some people just can't be bothered to get out of my way despite seeing me barreling towards them. After meticulous dodging, planning, and running, I finally made it to the sandwich shop doors. I glanced at the watch wrapped tightly around my wrist, attempting to catch my breath simultaneously. I have used up 13 of my minutes, leaving me with a mere 10 minutes remaining. I don't have time to grovel about the time crunch hanging over my head. I have to keep moving.
    I pushed open the door and moved inside the shop, feeling a wave of calm flow into me. The walls were decorated with printed reviews that showered the food with praise, paintings in cool toned colors, and awards and certificates earned by the employees. The chairs are pastel green, tucked neatly against all the pale wooden tables lining the walls. An elderly Korean woman is standing behind the counter, writing vigorously across a piece of paper resting on a clipboard. When the bell above the door rings through the shop, she looks up and smiles brightly and sets the clipboard and pen down with purpose.
    "Maddy!" She beamed, waving me over quickly. I'm still out of breath and reeling from the run I completed to make it there. My legs are burning with every step I take, but I make my way to the counter anyway. During my short breathless walk over, She has already rung up my order and gotten it completely ready for me to pay. After two years of serving me, she knows exactly what I want as soon as I walk in.
    "How is everything going today, Mrs Choi?" I asked, taking 10$ out of my pocket and handing it over to her. Mrs Choi tapped on the screen in front of her a few times, letting the register pop open and quickly getting my change together.
    "Very well, Maddy!" She paused for a moment, taking a step back and looking me up and down. "Are you alright dear? You're out of breath, and you look flushed." She frowned, clearly filled with genuine concern for my appearance.
    I nodded and took a sharp breath, trying to regulate myself before replying. "Yes, I'm okay. You worry about me too much." I teased, waving off the change she attempted to hand to me. "You know you're supposed to keep the change, Mrs Choi. And don't mind me being out of breath, it's busy out there today. I had to run here just to make it in time." I laughed, Mrs Choi's eyes widened and she turned around quickly. I watched as she hustled her way into the back and returned to me at the counter with a water bottle in her hand.
    "You need to keep yourself hydrated." She insisted, forcing the water into my hand. She dropped my change into the tip jar on the counter and glanced back at the kitchen. "It should be ready anytime, we knew you were coming." I laughed genuinely at her comment, and leaned comfortably against the wall as I waited. At most, it can take about five minutes to prepare my sandwich. But based on them knowing I would be coming and preparing accordingly, it should only take about three minutes. I glance back at my watch, eight minutes left. There is physically no way I will make it back to the store in time. The best I can hope for is only being five minutes late, and even then it's not looking great for me. Two and a half minutes pass, and Mrs Choi hands me my order.
    "You have a good day, Maddy. Don't let yourself get too stressed, we don't want a heart attack to make us lose our favorite customer." Mrs Choi grinned, waving as I made my way back to the door. My eyes were glued to my watch, trying to plan how I could get back to the store in the remaining five minutes. I also, had only just then realized I didn't account for the time it takes to actually eat the sandwich. I was so busy worrying about getting from location to location I hadn't even thought about it.
    I looked down at the sandwich wrapped neat and tidy in brown paper and I know what must be done. It's an even more dangerous plan than my original one, but the end reward is far greater. I unwrap the sandwich halfway, and take a deep breath to prepare myself for the choking hazard I'm about to endure. Once my sandwich was prepped and my mind was ready, I raised my head to stand tall as I made my run back. The second I raise my line of sight, I realize that in the time it took for me to chat with Mrs Choi and get my sandwich the clouds had begun pouring down rain. Though I don't particularly enjoy running in the rain, I was pleased to see a straight shot back up to the cafe. Quickly, I pushed the door open and took my first bite.
    For someone who was running in the rain, while also attempting to scarf down an entire sandwich, I was making good time. I regularly checked my watch to see how much longer I had, and I thought wow, I might really be able to do this. I continued to shove bites of my delicious sandwich down my throat as I sped forward. I'm almost halfway through the sandwich now, but just as I went to take another bite I collided with something strong and heavy placed in front of me.
    When I hit the ground, my first thought was I had hit a pole. But I knew there were no poles randomly placed in the middle of the sidewalk. I glanced up to see what I had run into, and a person stood before me. I had run into a man, standing on the sidewalk, with an expression of pure fear and concern plastered across his face. The worst part of it all? I had dropped my sandwich. My beautiful, delicious, surprisingly cheap sandwich, laid torn apart on the dirty, wet, concrete.
    "I'm so sorry." The man stuttered, holding out his hand and helping to pull me back to my feet. I have to work with wet pants and no sandwich now. I thought to myself, wishing I was the kind of person with the ability to just pick it up and continue to eat it. I was not that person. That was the sidewalks sandwich now.
    "It's okay, don't worry about it." I smiled after forcing myself past the grief of losing my beloved. For someone who was so distraught over a sandwich, this guy looked very put together. His hair was well kept, neatly styled with some sort of gel. He wore slacks and a button up shirt, and considering the appearance of toned muscles showing through the thin fabric, he had a very well maintained exercise routine.
    "You seemed so dedicated to that sandwich." He frowned, staring down at the now soggy meal below us.
    "It's fine really."
    "You were running just so you could have that sandwich."
    "Really, it isn't a problem. You don't need to worry about it."
    "The sandwich…Your sandwich. And I've caused you to drop it and completely ruin it." His gaze finally rises to look at me, and I feel an electric shock throughout my whole body when my eyes meet his. He had to have the most enchanting green eyes I had ever seen. They widen for a moment when he looks at me, and then his expression shifts. "You work at the Grove." He stated definitively, as if conversing with an entirely different person now. "I love that place, they have the best coffee in town. It's a shame they're always so busy, I normally don't have time to stop in."
    I am suddenly uncomfortably aware of the uniform I'm wearing. I often forget it's even on if I'm not in the cafe. I'm essentially a walking billboard for The Grove right now, which is the last thing that place needs. "I can't say I particularly love the super busy aspect of the job." I reply, attempting to shake off the star-struck expression still lingering across my face. The man laughs at my comment, and his eyes sparkle. The sparkle could have been coming from the twinkling lights that had just turned on in the restaurant we were standing in front of, but in my romanticizing mind they sparkled with joy.
    "I'm James." He introduced, relaxing his stance and slightly moving towards me. My stomach flipped in response to the sudden change in body language. I feel as though I might completely stop breathing.
    "Maddy."
    "I know." He smirked, causing me to crinkle my eyebrows. Within .5 seconds my brain has spun out of control trying to figure out how he knows my name. Has he come to the cafe while I was working before? I would have recognized him if he had, we see so many people every day, but I still manage to remember most of them. Especially the hauntingly beautiful customers.
    "You're wearing your name tag." James pointed out, putting my mind at ease. I'm not sure if he could tell I was freaking out, or if he came to the conclusion he should explain further on his own. Either way I'm happy to have the extra information. There's a long pause in the conversation, and I can't help but wonder what he's thinking. He glances at the restaurant beside us and gestures towards it. "Can I buy you lunch here? It's the least I can do, having made you miss out on what appears to be a very delicious sandwich."
    There's a slight pain in my chest, knowing I have to turn him down. I would love to eat lunch with him, I would love to do anything with him. "As much as I've wanted to eat here, which is a lot because I've been working in the square since before they even opened, my break is going to be over soon." I frowned, the words flow out of me so gracefully, but as they do panic begins to build in my chest. "Oh shit! My break! I'm so sorry I have to get back!" I blurted out before taking off back down the street. I ran away so fast, I don't know if he even replied.
    When I speed back into the cafe Lila is staring daggers at me from the other side of the counter. I slip back into my place as quickly as I can and begin taking orders from the long line of customers. Once the line had been taken care of Lila waltzed over to me, her arms folded tightly across her chest.
    "You were late." Lila frowned sternly, pausing for only a moment. "Do you know how late you are? Do you? I know, ten minutes. You're ten minutes late." She stated, displaying her frustration clearly.
    "It's a long story… I'll skip my last ten to make up for it, okay? And I'll do all the closing tasks tonight. You won't have to lift a finger." My promises are enough to earn me a nod from her, so I know I can't be in too much trouble. She makes her way back to the bar to continue making the long list of waiting drinks.
             Most days at work are just blurs of the same tasks over and over. We're always packed with people from open to close, so it's easy to get lost in the rush of it all. It's the same routine every day, same station, same break, same everything. By the time we're getting ready for closing I'm tucked away in the back cleaning all the dishes we'd used throughout the day. Dish duty is probably the easiest closing task available, so it's a little wild that they have me do them every night. Lila has to count the register, so I know she isn't an option. But Carly chooses to clean and restock the whole front, and she always takes longer than me. Maybe she just doesn't want to get her clothes all wet.
    Today is different though, I promised to do it all. All Lila will have to do is count the tills, I'll do the dishes, I'll clean the tables. I quickly wiped down the tables before even heading back to the sink. Watching as Lila sent a very cheerful Carly home early. Once I've finished lining the dishes across the paper towel covered counter to dry I step back into the front. Lila has finished the first register and is about halfway through counting the second, I stretch my arms out behind my back and let out a yawn, alerting her to my presence.
    "Maddy," Lila sighed, "some guy left this here for you. He didn't say much, just that he owed you." She held out a small paper bag with a note stapled to it. Maddy, I think this is yours was written on the note, at the bottom was James' signature and his phone number. Out of intense curiosity I peeked inside, sitting in the bag was a brown paper wrapped sandwich. I smiled softly and rolled the top of the bag shut before turning back to Lila.
    "I finished everything in the back, you mind if I head out?" I asked, she nodded as she moved back to her counting. I quickly gathered my things and headed on my way.
    It was still heavily raining when I left the cafe, and I of course didn't bring an umbrella or even a rain jacket because I'm so brilliant. So I was in for a very wet walk around the building to the parking lot. As I walked I stared at the note attached to my sandwich bag, tracing the words over and over with my eyes. I must have some ungodly levels of charm if that short interaction made him feel so driven to replace my sandwich. I didn't even think that conversation would be considered flirty. Once I reached my car I quickly slid inside to get out of the rain and pulled out my cell phone.
    Growing up it was just me and Mom. My dad left when she told him she was pregnant, they were both only seventeen and they weren't exactly in a relationship at the time. So I never even met the guy. Instead my mom was my everything, she was my caretaker, my guardian, and she's my best friend. When I moved out three years ago it was really hard being away from her, she had supported me through everything and I had never done anything without her. So in an attempt to make the adjustment easier for me we started having end of the day wrap up calls. We called and talked about every single event from the day, no detail was too small. It was a nice way to make it feel like I was still with her all the time.
    I dialed her number and waited the three seconds it took for her to answer. "I swear you just spend your days waiting for my call, you always answer so fast."
    "No one ever calls me!" It's like a breath of fresh air every time I get to hear her voice. "So whenever I hear my phone ring I know it's you and I drop everything. I always gotta be here for my girl." I can practically hear her grin through the speaker.
    The rain is pounding loudly down on my windshield, it sounds like little pebbles are hitting the car. "Is it raining there? Because it feels like a hurricane over here." I asked, leaning my chair back to get more comfortable.
    "Baby, I'm only two cities over. If it's raining there it's most likely raining here too. I swear sometimes you make it sound like we're a continent apart." My mom laughs brightly into the phone and I feel like I'm curled up on the couch with her again. I like to think I do a good job of taking care of myself, I'm 23 years old, I live on my own, and I maintain a very good job. But if I let myself just sit and think for a little too long it gets painful. I miss my mom a lot, all the time. I wish I could have just stayed a kid forever, or been one of those sad people that live their entire life in their parents basement. But my mom lives in a one story house, so there isn't the option of a basement.
    "You just feel so far away Momma, I miss you." I frown, "I have a good story for you today." I wish I could see her reaction, but since I know my mom better than anyone I can practically see her expression without actually seeing her. "Okay so I only had 23 minutes of my break left right?"
    After the whole story, she's silent. She had no commentary through the entire thing, a very out of character moment for her. I'm worried for a second, thinking she may be planning my trip to the mental hospital, but eventually she responds. "Was he cute?" That's more on brand for her.
    "He looked like a movie star." I emphasize, earning a hearty laugh from her end. "But I don't know, I've been single since rehab. I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship right now. What if I'm too fragile?"
    "Maddy," My mother sighs quietly, "you are anything but fragile. You are the strongest person I've ever known. I want to be you when I grow up." She always knows the right thing to say. "No one is asking you to get married okay? And if you really think it'll risk your sobriety then throw the number away! But I think you gotta let yourself get back out there eventually, and you have the opportunity to try."
    I know she's right, but I also know I haven't had the best luck in the past. The fear of losing control, giving power to another person when I've had to fight so hard for power over myself. It fills me with a need to always run away. It makes me believe I can never truly get close with anyone. I'm scared all the time, I'm scared one little thing will go wrong and everything will be ruined again. I'm scared I'll fail. I'm scared I won't be able to keep my cravings, my urges, bundled up and shoved down anymore. Giving someone the ability to break my heart is the most terrifying thing I could ever do. Letting someone in, letting someone really know me, it's horrifying. I never let myself trust anymore, I never let myself love or care for anyone else. Mom is the only person I can trust, she's the only person I can fully believe will never walk away.
    "All of that was a long time ago, Baby." I forgot we were still on the phone. It tends to be a bit too easy for me to lose myself in my thoughts, I get too obsessed with analyzing every little thing and it traps me inside until I can untangle myself and worm my way out. Mom is the only one who can pull me back to reality with ease.
    "I'll think about it." I mumbled, certain I would in fact not even consider it. I let out a heavy sigh and shook my head, getting my brain to settle in my head. "Okay, I'm driving home now. You have ten minutes to update me on your world."