HuskerDust Oneshots

Milk on the Bar Counter (Epilogue)

This is a crack oneshot from Milk on the Bar Counter just in Alastor's POV, it's goofy and silly and ain't supposed to be taken seriously, enjoy the epilogue 

Alastor was in his radio tower, reading a book and listening to the radio. He needed this peace right now, Vox wouldn't stop spamming his phone with horny texts. He still can't believe Charlie forced him to get a phone, this was entirely her fault.

He sighed as he drank some of his tea, his book being very interesting. Who knew that deer have a four-chambered stomach? See, interesting stuff.

Then he heard some sudden banging sound. It was really loud, and like, repetitive. 'The fuck is that?' Alastor thought to himself. Whatever, it wasn't his problem. It was coming from where Husker was, he'll deal with it.

Twenty minutes later, the sound still didn't stop. It was really starting to irritate Alastor. How was he supposed to read his book under these annoying conditions? Fed up, he sighed and decided to check it out for himself.

He teleported to where he thought the noise was coming from, the bar. He teleported in and five seconds later he immediately teleported out.

Did they see him?! Who the fuck cares, he definitely saw THEM. The banging noise was coming from Angel and Husk having...coitus!

In public. At the bar. For anyone to see in great detail. What the fuck was wrong with them?! Alastor had to sit down, he was starting to get dizzy. He threw his cane to the side and sat upright in his chair and dug his fingers in his hair, his elbows propped up on the desk.

He thought the thirsty texts from Vox were bad but..this, this was worse. Was this what Vox wanted from him?! This vulgar activity?!

The visions started flashing in his mind. Why? Just...why? How was Husker so...big? How was it even fitting? The anatomy...it doesn't make sense. How does a drunken fucker like Husk even pull some famous pornstar like Angel?! THE MATH IS NOT MATHING!!!

That's it. If Husker wants to traumatize people, by having sex in his bar, then two can play that game. Whenever they get done doing the devil's tango, Alastor and Husk are gonna take a little trip. Alastor did want to do this, but Husker forced his hand. 

He pulled out his phone and contacted the Vet that usually takes care of Husker when Alastor thinks he needs it. Husker doesn't like it, but they've had this same Vet for years.

The number rang twice before it picked up, and Alastor, without missing a beat, said, "Do you do neuters?" 

I am sideeyeing all the mfs that was joking about Husk getting neutered cuz now I took inspo from y'all 😔