shattered souls - rick grimes

Part 34

That night after everyone went to bed in their cells, Katherine sat with the baby in her arms at one of the tables, just existing and thinking. Her thinking was interrupted when she heard the clicking of Hershel's crutches coming towards her but she didn't look away from the sleeping baby. "Katie..." Hershel spoke gently, causing Katherine to look his way "Hey." she spoke giving her father a fake, small smile. "You don't have to pretend with me, sweetheart." Hershel spoke as he looked at Katherine "I know you're hurting." he nodded "Losing Lori...it's--a pain that hurts us all deep down. And what you went through...delivering that baby...it's a heavy burden." Hershel spoke, his tone understanding as he sat next to his daughter, placing his crutches on the floor before putting a gentle hand on her back. He looked at his daughter as her lip quivered and her eyes filled with tears. A tinge of pain spread across his face as he gently rubbed her back. "Tell me what you're feeling, let it all out. I'm here for you no matter what." Hershel assured Katherine, his voice filled with genuine concern. "Rick...he--" Katherine took a deep breath and sniffled "He hates me, he has to hate me, right?" she asked, looking at Hershel, holding back tears.

Hershel's jaw tightened as he looked at his daughter and listened to her words. he reached up to gently wipe a fallen tear from her cheek. "No, Katie, no." Hershel shook his head "Rick doesn't hate you, no one here does. You did what you had to do, and no one holds anything against you. Rick may be struggling right now, but trust me, his feelings toward you haven't changed." Hershel assured Katherine "You are still the same caring, loving person you've always been and he'll see that." Hershel nodded "He's never goin' to forgive me, Daddy. I can't even forgive myself." Katherine shook her head, holding back sobs as the baby in her arms continued to sleep. A mix of frustration and pail flashed across Hershel's face as he listened to Katherine speak. He gently pulled her close, not disturbing the baby in the process. "Katherine, sweetheart, listen to me." he spoke gently "Rick doesn't need to forgive you because there's nothin' to forgive. You did what had to be done and you did it with courage...and compassion. Your actions saved the life of this baby. And in time...Rick'll see that. You have to trust me, Katherine." Hershel assured Katherine as he watched the tears fall onto her cheeks.

"I killed his wife--I killed my best friend...I should've found you and you--you could've saved her." Katherine spoke before covering her mouth with her hand to muffle her sobs, not wanting to wake the peaceful baby. Hershel's grip on Katherine's shoulder tightened as he listened to her. His heart ached at the guilt she was experiencing. "You have to listen to me. Lori's death was not your fault...you did the best that you could. But there was nothin' that anyone could've done to save her. Sometimes the good Lord's plan is just beyond our understanding. You must believe that even though I know you don't believe. Lori's death was not and never will be your fault. You must believe that if you're going to believe anything." Hershel spoke with empathetic understanding in his voice. "I should've tried harder...I could've done something." Katherine shook her head "And Carl he--oh my god, Carl." she cried "He's just a kid and he--he had to watch me kill his mother." Katherine cried into her hand. Hershel's grip tightened even more as he kissed the side of her head. "Sweetheart, you can't keep blaming yourself. And Carl...you know Carl. Believe me when I tell you he understands that you tried. Losing a mother is a terrible thing to go through...you know that. And by knowing what it's like, you know that he needs you now more than ever." Hershel spoke as he pulled back slowly, just enough to look into her eyes.

"Look at me, darlin'. I know things seem difficult right now. The pain you're feelin' is real, and the guilt you carry is a heavy burden to bear. But know this...you are strong. You have a heart full of love and compassion. And you are not alone. I'm here for you, and so is everyone else. You have to have faith, sweetheart. Have faith that things will get better, that healing will come." Hershel spoke to Katherine who nodded in response, slowly blinking as tears fell onto her cheeks. He smiled softly, gently running his thumb over her cheeks to wipe away the tears that streamed down. His voice filled with gentle love and encouragement. "That's right, sweetheart. Hold on to that faith, no matter how difficult it may seem. Lean on the people around you, and let them support and love you. Let them love you. You are not alone. You will get through this, and you will come out stronger on the other side. And I'll be right here with you, every step of the way." he continued speaking "I don't know what I'd do without you, Daddy." Katherine whispered.

A tender smile slowly spread across his face as he listened to her words. He gently grasped her cheek, his touch filled with warmth, care, and love. "And I don't know what I'd do without you sweetheart. You and your sisters are my world. A world without you in it...it's not one I want to imagine. You are the light in the darkness, the hope in the despair. My little girl." Hershel spoke, causing Katherine to cry more. He pulled her into another tight embrace, holding her close and secure. His breath was warm against her cheek as he spoke softly. "You've been my light since the moment you came into this world. And you always will be. I love you, Katherine. More than you'll ever know. I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. So proud of the woman you've become. Never forget that." Hershel spoke before kissing her temple.