A Wedding in the midst of War

I can still hear her screams as she plummeted to her death

I seriously hate the Rider's quadrant. Every night, I fall asleep exhausted and sore everywhere. Plus, Xaden after my humiliation last week has tasked Im to train me. And as much as I love my found sister, it would be nice to be able to walk and not wadle because of the constant pain. I am getting stronger I will givce her that but still. 

I am currently walking towards the sparing arena when Professor Emeterio announces 
"Today and for the next few weeks, you will no longer be reportiong to the arena for your lessons but at the Gauntlet for practise. You only have 2 weeks, use them well.

We finally arrive in front of the Gauntlet. My eyes widen. I have to get up there in 2 weeks. How...
"Cadet Henrick, show us how it's done. After all, you were the fastest last year" Emeterio asks Sawyer probably after the look on our faces
Sawyer nods, heads to the starting line, awaits for the signal and ... he is off

He is practically flying unbothered by the obstacles. Each step is precise.
The course begins with a series of vertical logs anchored into the ground. These logs vary in height, requiring Sawyer to hop from one to another. Balancing and precise jumps are essential. After conquering the logs, Sawyer reaches a narrow balance beam. He walks across it carefully, maintaining stability as they move toward the next challenge. Adjacent to the balance beam stands a platform with a rope hanging down. Sawyer chooses to climb up. Evidenlty, upper body strength and coordination are crucial. Something I don't have. Moving upward, the course features a higher platform where barrels roll down a slope. Sawyer times his movements to avoid being knocked off the platform by these rolling obstacles. Another platform awaits, adorned with large suspended balls.He navigates through or around these swinging obstacles with such ease. Finally, to the left, there's an inclined wall. He backs up, gives himself and running start to then push himself upwards and over effectively finishing the Gauntlet.

"Well done, cadet. Now, up you go. There are multiple ropes to descend if you cannot attain the top but remember on the actual day, you under any circumstances can descend or you will have forfeited. 
Everyone, familiar the rules. Perfect, off you go"

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It's been a week already. I can pass the first 4 obstacles; my problem being the chimney. My windspan is too short to grab hold of both sides of the chimney to climb up. 
I have exhausted every solution, I came up with. I am comforted with the knowledge that I am not the only one who hasn't reached the top at least once. 

(A/N Flashback)

I skim through the first obstacle. On the platform before the swinging balls, I wait for the opportune moment to hop on. Suddenly, I feel someone jump on the platform with me. I turn to see Aurelie smilling at me. She is a legacy like me. However unlike me, she choose to be herem loves it and most of all deserves to be here
"I let you go first. I will only slow you down Aurelie" 
"Don't be ridiculous, Violet. The time in practise isn't important. I can take as much time as I want. Plus, you were here first. You go" I smile back at her, shrug my shoulders and jump to the boulder. I push and pull with the intention to jump on the second boulder when the side of the mountain shackes violently. I hold to the rope holding the boulder up with dear life. 

I hear a scream behind me. I turn swiftly to see Aurelie lose her balance and fall off the platform. I reach for her as she does me. I touch the tips of her fingers but it isn't enough. 

I can still hear her screams as she plummeted to her death.

"...engail. Cadet Sorrengail"
Professor Emeterio pulls me from my thoughts. I nod Heat flushes my cheeks with embarassement. I hadn't realised it's already my turn. Rhi looks at me with a worried look that I brush off with ease. Later, I mouth. She isn't impressed but she nods all the same
"Ready..." I nod again
"Perfect and ... go"
I hear the timer start and I rush off. 

As expected as soon as the training is over, Rhi pulls to an empty corridor
"Are you okay? You have been distant since Aurelie's..."
"death... You can say it. Aurelie, probably the best of our squad at the Gauntlet died on said Gauntlet where as me.." I point to myself  "I am here, alive. It isn't fair. How is any of this fair? I should have gone with my gut and let her jump first. At least someone useful would be alive instead I. AM. HERE"
"Vi..." 
"No... Don't say it. Don't say anything. You can't tell me that she would have been an incredible rider better than me that's for sure. No, because of her selflessness and stuborness and my short windspan she plummeted off the side of the mountain. A wingspan that is going to get me disqualified since I can't go up the chimney. Basically, an incredible rider died for nothing. Absolutely nothing."

I see Rhi's eyes start to water, I sigh and I turn away and take in the designs on the corridor
"Cadets... what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in class? I would appreciate you not degrade Fourth Wing reputation by skipping class." 
I hear a familiar voice call out, his footsteps getting louder and louder. I know exactly who it is as the hair on my back lift. Xaden.

I want to run and hide from the world in his arms but I don't trust myself to get back up after.

So I avoid his gaze and turn to Rhi
"He is right. We should go to class. Can't be late to physics. You know how much we love the class" 
As we leave, I call out to my husband looking at him for the first time since our duel. He has hus usual mask of calmness but beneath it, he is worried about me. He must have heard about Aurelie. 
"Sorry Wingleader Riorson, we needed a break after the Gauntlet. My legs were killing me. Anyway, we are off. Come on, Rhi"

I feel Xaden staring at me but I ignore it and continue walking. One problem at a time. 

I am leaning against the railing on the roof of the dorms watching the sunset going over every angle of my problem trying to find a solution to get around my physique. Nothing. How...

I hear footsteps coming right at me. They are precise, assertive and for some reason ... familiar
"Cadet Sorrengail" A female voice calls.
I pivot with military precision and face my interlocutor.

"Mom? I mean General Sorrengail, what brings you to my humble hiding spot?"
"Cadet, what makes you think as crossing each other on the roof as anything to do with you. How impudent and disappointing"
Not knowing what to say, I nod.
"I am simply taking the long route home and trying to avoid certain professors. Not that it is any of your concern." Right, of course. The path is right under this side of the quadrant.
"Although, I should be asking you the same question. Are you training for the Gauntlet? I expect nothing but your success of course. It would be a shame for you to last the first few months to fail. Now, wouldn't it?"
I see a fleeting glint of mischief in her gaze. I nod. I will pass the Gauntlet. I just don't know how.
As we part ways, she whispers in a low voice
"I may not tell you often but I stand by with my desicion: you will be the best rider to ever exist. Whatever is holding you down, you will overcome it. I just know it. You may be a rider cadet but at heart you are a scribe. There are always more than one way to achieve your goal. Don't you ever forget that."
I can see a smile tugging her lips and her eyes soften. This. This was my mother before Brennan's death. My eyes widen. What just happened? I nod and watch her disappear inside, her face hardening again.