Off Record

/Seven/

August 22, 1990

"Ms. S, can I talk to you privately?" Naomi asks as the rest of the students leave. She has been quiet the whole session, which is unusual. This is her 3rd year with me and she's usually the loudest in the bunch.

"Yeah, of course." I put a stop in the door and walk her over to a quiet corner in the room. She plays with the ends of her braids, eyeing the last student to leave.

"See you next week!" Tyrie calls. "See you!"

"..What's going on? Why weren't you here Tuesday?" I motion for her to sit at the desk. She obliges with a shaken sigh.

"I was scared.."

I sit next to her. "Of?"

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she goes in her book bag and pulls out something wrapped in a napkin. Just from the shape of it, I already know what it is, so I don't let my face show the disappointment I feel.

"I'm pregnant...it's J's..but he doesn't want it." The tears she was holding back finally fall down her face. "I'm sorry Miss—"

"Hey, hey, none of that." I get up and wrap my arms around her and she sobs into my shoulder. "It's going to be okay." Wiping the tear that escapes my eye, I quickly pull myself together.

"I c-can't raise a kid a-and go to school." She says through her cries.

"What do you want to do Naomi?"

She sucks up her tears and pulls away from me, wiping her eyes. "I need to go to the clinic. Can you go with me?"

My heart sinks but I know it's the best thing to do in her situation. She lives with her grandparents and is the last one to finish school. Both of her brothers left for California after they graduated and she can't put another child on her grandmother.

"Does Ms. Johnson know?"

"No, I can't tell her. She's so happy about my scholarship to Columbia, she'll be heartbroken. And she doesn't believe in abortions. Besides, I'm 18... I just don't want to do it alone."

"Okay..okay. Let me get my stuff together and then we'll go."

•••

"Shit. That's heavy." Victoria sighs sadly. She sits across from me in our favorite booth at a local jazz club and lounge. It's packed like usual and the music is upbeat, the opposite of how I've been feeling since Naomi asked to talk to me.

"Fuck heavy, that's depressing. I got your drinks all night sis." Mac declares next to me before he takes another shot.

I just nod, twirling the little umbrella from my drink as I think back to the washed out blue floors of the clinic. The muted pink hospital gown Naomi changed into and the pressure of her squeezing my hand. She just stared at the ceiling, biting her top lip during the operation. It was a few days too late for the pill, so he had to do the surgical procedure.

"Sash?"

Victoria waves her hand in front of my face to get my attention. "Yeah?"

"You were zoned out. Are you sure you don't want to go home?" It's written all over her face that she knows what I'm thinking.

"No, I'm good. Keisha hasn't even went up yet." I finish my drink as V and Mac look at me with concern. I didn't want to be at home alone and crying all night. I just needed to get my mind off of it and since it was Thursday, it was spoken word night at the club. It was the perfect distraction.