"Mark my words Shivaay, one day your life will become someone else's and you wouldn't even realise it."
"Not in my life, Om."
He preached that he didn't held unrealistic expectations from the love.
He craved it.
Love, was something that he never reserved for himself.
Because for him love was a whole different emotion. It wasn't just the emotion, it was the feeling, it was the hope, it was the strength, it was the desire, it was the yearning that he could never voice out before.
And he is not fortunate enough.
The clouds rumbled garnering his attention to the greyish skies. He breathed in the scent of earth as he walked outside the building. The roads were empty except for the people walking on the sidewalks.
Shivaay placed the phone back as he stared at the rains, he tilted his head curiously as he walked out. Khanna angled the umbrella above his head as he walked towards the car. He stopped at the door and stared ahead at the roads.
How something simple as these rains show how a person loves the other.
He looked at the son who was carrying the umbrella for his little son who was chattering away.
And how a daughter held the umbrella slightly above so both her and her father could go through the rains even though she was drenched in her side as she tipped the umbrella towards her father's side.
He looked at the couple who were walking together in the rain holding their hands, looking at each other smiling. Despite being drenched their hearts were warm with love.
He looked at the elderly couple walking in rain, how the lady laughed at the man's words.
A wistful smile made a way across his lips.
He longed for such emotions.
"Sir?" He heard Khanna's voice, he blinked and turned to face the man.
"Nothing." He found himself replying as he transfixed his gaze back around the roads.
He watched as the couple walked in the rain completely drenched as they walked behind their children.
The unconditional love.
The purest.
The smile lingered as he sat inside the car. Before it disappeared slightly when he realised he didn't have anyone to share the emotions with.
He wasn't exactly as lonely, he had a beautiful girlfriend who he cared about. But he knew it was not love.
It will never be.
The tangents of their understanding of love were far too apart for them to ever fall in love. But what held him there was the care. And that was enough. At least that is what he tells him.
He looked at his phone, and the smile faltered slightly.
Blank.
There wasn't a single message from his family. He had been expecting at least a call asking him where he was and when he would be reaching home.
He tilted his head to his side. He was reading too much into it. He had spoken to Rudra last night. He had informed him when he would be reaching, there was no point to repeat the same conversation again.
His eyes shined when he heard the sound of a notification bell on his phone. But his expression deflated the moment he realised it was a mail from the office. He busied himself reading the contents before he closed his phone turning to look outside.
The rain had slowed down to drizzle.
He lowered the windshield, not minding the small droplets that fell upon him the car moved ahead. He smiled for what he saw.
Rain does bring out the beauty of life.
"Must have been nice." He whispered as he looked at the kids playing in the rain, he was vaguely reminded of the old times;
The image of him, Om, Rudra and Priyanka playing in the rain; until their mothers came to scold them.
Good times they were.
He looked at the expressions; from bright smiles of the people, the frustrated glares as they looked up at the clouds, and the sad expression of some as they sought shelter.
The smile on his face dimmed slightly and he pulled the windshield back up. Life consisted of many aspects, from the greatest joys to the breaking sorrows.
He had experienced some of them.
His phone buzzed.
It was Tia, he swiped it up before placing it next to his ear.
"Shivaay baby, when will you be reaching? I have so many things pending to do when you reach, come soon. I will be waiting. Bye, love you."
He smiled wrily at the last phrase, love you. He often found himself wondering if she ever meant what she said, that had once, even once she meant the words she repeated quite a few times in the day.
She never noticed when he was tired, when he was frustrated, when he melancholic. Even sometimes he couldn't. There were times he voiced out his feelings and she shrugged it off saying he overanalyzes the things. Maybe he did.
But that was the joy of life for him, those little things that people missed. He cherished those.
She did say she loved him. But they both knew the truth,
She didn't love him.
He knew that. And that was okay. He was fine with that, the entire blame didn't go on her though. Something was lacking from both their sides.
He wondered if he did as well.
She was beautiful, smart, intelligent and liked to be with him, and apparently that was the most surprising thing.
She wanted to be with him. And that was enough for him.
He smiled again.
His eyes falling on the faint silhouette of the people walking inside the same umbrella, he had asked her to join him for a walk in the rain but she had refused saying that rains are meant to be enjoyed while at home.
Preferences.
They never matched.
Shaking his head, his eyes strayed at the dim screen of his phone, the empty call logs from his family.
YOU ARE READING
Faking Smiles
Fanfiction"You get attached too easily." Shivaay frowned. He never realised that. "You need to give people space." And he starts doing the exact. He starts distancing himself from the people, letting himself be devoured by the darkness that surrounded the d...
