Protector from Afar ✔️

Chapter 25 - Silent Cry

Chapter 25
Silent Cry

My father once told me: The most important thing every warrior should know is what he would die for.

My eyes fluttered open before I even realized it. My brain was lagging. The white object in front of me was a cup, I knew this much. There was a cup on a low table. And I was lying on a sofa. Groaning, I sat up and rubbed my eyes. My arm was throbbing. With my fingers I felt the material in which my upper arm was wrapped. And the memories returned. The alcohol might make life more bearable for a few hours, but it never drowned the memories.
Like something burned in. I could scrub until my fingers bled and pour all sorts of substances on them, yet there would always be a residue.

I absentmindedly fumbled with the bandages while looking out the window. Early in the morning the sky was overcast, birds looking like black dots flew from building to building. At one point my eyes lost focus. The scars on my back ached.

I heard a rustling and was inwardly shocked as Jeongin sat down next to me. He smelled like... baby powder.

"Sleep well?" he asked.

I yawned. "To some extent. And you?"

"Like a stone."

I couldn't look at him. He probably already knew why I was here in the first place. If you look at it soberly, it's a pretty embarrassing situation. My fingers wrapped around the cup, the material cool and the dark red tea inside colder.

"I'm making us breakfast, do you want anything specific?"

"No thank you. I still need to do something... something went wrong yesterday."

I felt the sofa give way. From the corner of my eye I saw him change his sitting position to now looking directly at me.

"You fought. Hence the wound."

No question, no guess. Fact. He was right; Before Hyunjin and Minho stopped me, I followed a lead that turned out to be that of 'fire dogs'. Carelessly, I thought I could distract myself with it - work away the pain, the never-ending sadness. I didn't pay attention for a millisecond and - bam - I was lying on the ground bleeding.

What would my father say? Change tactics? Meditate? Give up, escape to another universe and start over? Consider therapy?

Tears stung my eyes. I stood up and Jeongin's hand slipped into mine. So warm and soft. In one quick movement he stood in front of me.

"Please don't go. I don't know much about combat techniques or how to open a portal. But I recognize when someone doesn't know what to do next. Everyone needs help sometimes, even creatures like us."

Jeongin smiled shakily, his pleading gaze tugged at my heartstrings. He gently squeezed my hand and my heartbeat got faster.

"We could be more than you the protector and us the protégés. Let me be there for you. As a friend."

So that I lose you too?
I would get used to your face.
I'd feel happy every time you look at me with your feline eyes.
Your voice would be my favorite melody.
Losing you would set my world on fire forever and leave nothing but ashes.

"We can't be friends. Use me as a tool and nothing else."

As soon as those words left my mouth, I wanted to take them back immediately. Jeongin's grip lost strength.
I turned away. His warm hand slipped from mine like sand, leaving a strange emptiness behind.
It was better that way. It's better to suffer now than to blame yourself for the rest of your life.

~°~°~

The minute hand advanced with a loud mechanical tick. Snowflakes fell on my face, merged with my tears, became invisible, no longer noticeable.